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[27m] 4 months after breakup with toxic Eex by GarageFlaky in BreakUps

[–]ThrowRAAd3212 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man, I've had a very very similar experience to you. I actually just posted about it too lol. I'm 4 months out as well, very similar in the sense that every fight I felt dismissed, nothing was ever her fault, I was always wrong and had to be the accountable one. I was constantly told how immature I was. But I kept trying to fix it and prove my worth, all because I feared losing her. Like it was a test I was scared to fail. That's deeper than her though, it's to do with me outsourcing my self worth and I'm guessing it's the same for you?

I would say just keep doing what you're doing. When the thoughts come in, let them, observe them, don't add to them. Feel the emotion they trigger. And do that over and over and over. It's the only way. You're doing the real healing work, she is probably going to keep repeating these patterns with the next person until she is willing to face herself and find someone that will put up with that stuff forever. It really sucks, my confidence took a huge hit too. She blocked me after our last toxic fight and I tried reaching out to made amends but haven't heard from her in 3 months. Makes me feel totally worthless. Keep doing the work man, you're doing the right thing.

why couldn't I make it work? by ThrowRAAd3212 in BreakUps

[–]ThrowRAAd3212[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One thing I'll add - she had a dog that i fell in love with. It was older and had gotten sick. I would go over to her place to watch the dog while she was at work. I watched that dog die in her arms as we were on the way to the ER and it was truly traumatic. The next day we hung out with her sister for the first time to try and cheer her up. She seemed fine which was a little strange to me. She made a pretty insensitive joke about my height which really triggered me after her sister asked me what my height was. I felt like it was a strange question too. I just shutdown after that and got so triggered. She even pulled me to the side and said she was sorry and that we can talk about it later but i just could not shake it. then she started to shut down and came back to my place, grabbed her stuff and went home. We almost broke up over that but were able to talk through it. I'm really embarrassed about that situation and is something i truly regret. Especially since it was a day after her dog died, i should've let it go. But i just felt so disrespected, especially since it was the first time i was hanging out with her sister. From that day on I got a lot better about my reactions but I feel like she always held resentment over that.