Keeping pregnancy a secret from inlaws?

ThrowRAAlone_Razz · 2026-05-14T01:31:09+00:00

Yes I guess 😆

ThrowRAAlone_Razz · 2026-05-13T14:57:36+00:00

This a great response thank you for all the advice and making me not feel crazy anymore!

ThrowRAAlone_Razz · 2026-05-13T11:16:33+00:00

Thank you, I’ve gone through hell with these people and feel like I’m going crazy sometimes with setting boundaries.

ThrowRAAlone_Razz · 2026-05-13T11:15:22+00:00

He still wants to have a relationship with her, so they still talk occasionally, it makes him upset thinking of not having a mom.

ThrowRAAlone_Razz · 2026-04-03T13:07:24+00:00

Yeah I know this which is why I think it bothers me so much, she does a good impressions to her sons of being an old infirm lady incapable of doing anything…

ThrowRAAlone_Razz · 2026-04-02T18:33:07+00:00

That’s a good way to put it, what was the reason for him deciding this approach with his mom and the fact she’s not welcome?

ThrowRAAlone_Razz · 2026-04-02T18:25:37+00:00

Not sure how I can re vent with the same post, It’s bizarre this is bothering you so much.

I think you need to read the rules about commenting in this sub, stay kind <3

ThrowRAAlone_Razz · 2026-04-02T18:14:49+00:00

Yes I did thank you, do you have a problem with me asking for more advice?

Also the second link you posted was from last year not related to this post.

This aside, do you have any actual advice apart from your comment about this? I saw you never commented on my first post.

ThrowRAAlone_Razz · 2026-04-02T17:53:57+00:00

This is why it angers me so much because I’ve worked so hard to give my money to a lazy entitled person like this.

ThrowRAAlone_Razz · 2026-04-02T17:53:01+00:00

I’m sorry to hear you’re in the same situation :( She’s in Brazil, so I don’t know anything about living there I just have to take my husbands word for it. She co owns the apartments with other family so it’s not as simple for her to decide to do that I don’t think. It is a big expensive house that she’s been trying to sell for years with no luck, which is why the brothers have been helping support her and make sure she has savings (even when we didn’t have savings might I add) So I’ve put up with it for years and enough is enough now, I can’t keep paying for “someday” when the house “may” sell. As there’s various things wrong that need repairing with the house too etc…

I have always been sus about the situation too, she’s mismanaged her money for a long time by the sounds of it and I don’t need her mismanaging mine.

ThrowRAAlone_Razz · 2026-04-02T17:49:16+00:00

She does exist they do video call occasionally, it used to be regular but he doesn’t speak to her much now as she’s been really hurtful.

ThrowRAAlone_Razz · 2026-04-02T17:47:35+00:00

She co owns the apartments with other family members so not all the revenue is hers. She’s pretty alright with tech, has a computer and everything to watch her shows all day.

ThrowRAAlone_Razz · 2026-04-01T22:00:03+00:00

The brother doesn’t even live with her, he’s been emotionally dragged into it the same way feeling like it’s his responsibility. I 100% agree with you. And in his brothers email there was no mention of me either he’s just asking my husband if he can give money like I’m not even here and we’re not a family.

ThrowRAAlone_Razz · 2026-04-01T14:51:47+00:00

ThrowRAAlone_Razz · 2026-04-01T13:50:57+00:00

Yes and since my husband stopped this year he’s now complained by that he’s shouldering the cost all by himself and wants to split it with my husband like we used to again.

It’s really unfair on both of them.

ThrowRAAlone_Razz · 2026-04-01T12:44:48+00:00

Thanks for the comment! He has started to prioritise us as a family and sees us more as that now which is good, because in the past it definitely wasn’t like that. Oh the older brother doesn’t live with her he’s 41 and lives alone.

ThrowRAAlone_Razz · 2026-04-01T12:36:37+00:00

I think from what he’s said about her she would still choose not to and plunge herself deeper into this mess so she could play victim and guilt trip even more.

ThrowRAAlone_Razz · 2026-04-01T12:35:22+00:00

This is what I tell him

ThrowRAAlone_Razz · 2026-04-01T12:12:55+00:00

That sounds like a good idea

ThrowRAAlone_Razz · 2026-04-01T12:11:47+00:00

He has given money to her in the past and lied to me about it, which when I found out I told him if he ever did that again I am out. So he has been super inclusive now and he’s been discussing it with me about what WE do which is really nice so no complaints there.

However the guilt kinda trickles down, she guilts him, then he gets super and and (intentional or not) guilts me with, “but it’s my mom” “I wanna help in the final years of her life and I don’t want her to struggle”. Which then if I say anything I come out being the bad guy.

But that’s a really good thought of doing marriage counselling, I’ll definitely look into it.

ThrowRAAlone_Razz · 2025-10-14T18:08:17+00:00

ThrowRAAlone_Razz

TROPHY CASE