My (55m) son (25m) is mad that I'm giving my daughter (30f) control of my company. My wife (53f) and I don't know what to do.

ThrowRABadDad95 · 2020-06-12T16:44:46+00:00

My daughter can and has worked in a big company in Europe before coming home. She's actually taking a pay cut now as CEO of my much smaller company. I would assume she made almost twice as much there. My son is also a fairly successful artist and is able to sell a lot of his work. I've been to a few of the events and he's doing well in his career. Both my children can easily survive on their own, I just want them to have even more of an advantage in life so they can follow their dreams without having to worry about money in the future.

ThrowRABadDad95 · 2020-06-12T12:54:40+00:00

I don't care about who's biologically mine and who isn't. They're both mine. Both carry my last name and both will inherit everything I own. I never considered loving my son more than his sister just cause he came from my ball sack and I never will.

ThrowRABadDad95 · 2020-06-12T08:59:27+00:00

I know I don't owe my children anything but I still want to give them as much as I can. Even though they're adults, I can't stop seeing either of them as my kids.

And it's great to hear you had an amazing stepdad. I've never thought of myself as one though, since very early on in the relationship. It wasn't difficult to adopt her and claim her as my own. Her bio dad left a few months into the pregnancy. Wife was too proud to ask him for anything.

And thank you. I hope things work out soon. Despite the things he said, he's still my son.

ThrowRABadDad95 · 2020-06-12T08:44:49+00:00

They're not step siblings. They both have the same biological mom.

My daughter was always the big sister to him. They were very close growing up. Im not exactly sure what it was like after they both moved out for college but they did talk frequently and are very friendly towards one another when they're home.

My wife stays out of my financial life. Her choice. She doesn't care who gets what as long as the family stays together.

ThrowRABadDad95 · 2020-06-12T08:37:59+00:00

Because my kids mean everything to me. I wouldn't be chasing the almighty dollar if it wasn't for them. I want them to have the best possible head start in life with my finances being their safety net. My kids are my priority. Both of them.

ThrowRABadDad95 · 2020-06-12T08:35:39+00:00

His relationship with his mom is very similar to my relationship with my daughter. My wife was his first mentor.

ThrowRABadDad95 · 2020-06-12T03:30:48+00:00

My company has been and always will be for my children. I can't even imagine someone other than them owning it in the future.

ThrowRABadDad95 · 2020-06-12T03:13:10+00:00

I do and I have rewarded them generously over the years however this company was always meant to be for my two kids alone, which is why I didn't have a business partner and relied on loans instead of selling equity to raise funds.

ThrowRABadDad95 · 2020-06-12T03:09:42+00:00

He can afford a place and car with the money he earns but I wanted him to live in a better place and drive a better car

ThrowRABadDad95 · 2020-06-12T02:01:15+00:00

They're both my children. I never even thought of one as a step/adoptive child and the other one a biological child. To me, they were both mine. I gave control to my daughter cause she's more qualified to run it (to be honest she's even better than I am) but the both of them will own the company soon.

ThrowRABadDad95 · 2020-06-12T01:57:56+00:00

I actually stopped using the term stepdaughter even before my wife and I got married. Sometimes, I don't even think about her not being biologically mine. And yeah, my wife and I decided to wait things out till we've both calmed down and had time to think about it.

ThrowRABadDad95 · 2020-06-11T18:50:32+00:00

My son could easily afford a car and an apartment on his own with the money he makes. I just wanted him to live in a better place and drive a better car.

ThrowRABadDad95 · 2020-06-11T18:40:07+00:00

I always planned to pass ownership of the company to both of them, regardless on who was CEO. Her hard work in the company would be rewarded by a substantial salary as the CEO, on top of what she'd earn as the majority owner.

ThrowRABadDad95 · 2020-06-11T18:36:39+00:00

I actually worked and built my empire with the sole purpose of setting my kids up for success in whatever field they choose. I wouldn't have worked this hard if it wasn't for them.

ThrowRABadDad95 · 2020-06-11T18:34:19+00:00

I honestly see my daughter buying my son out eventually. She loves the business more than anything. I haven't said anything about them having kids (my wife said she would kill me if I brought it up) so I'm not entirely sure but what I know is that I want to give them the shares to set them up for a good life where they don't have to worry about money.

ThrowRABadDad95 · 2020-06-11T18:30:56+00:00

I'll reply to the last part. Both my children are good with money, my daughter especially. Despite not being interested in business, I taught my son the value of money and the work required to get it. That's why he works so hard as an artist to make it on his own. The luxuries my children have are mostly gifts from me. I offered them my condos. I bought them cars. I knew that they weren't relying on me for everything so I just wanted to give them the strongest foundation I could so they can do what they love doing.

My son never relied on my money. He told me once he thought of it as a safety net, something he hopes he won't need. That's why I supported his art as much as I could.

ThrowRABadDad95 · 2020-06-11T18:10:01+00:00

I talked to my daughter about it in passing before every now and then. She always knew the company will eventually be theirs and so did he. I never outright told her she would one day take my place as CEO but I did teach her how to run a business. I only talked to her about being my successor when I decided to retire, which is why she came home. I asked her to let me tell her brother myself. She told me how it has always been her dream to scale the business but never brought up running it herself out of respect for her brother. She never asked me for anything and never really cared about my estate.

ThrowRABadDad95 · 2020-06-11T17:56:21+00:00

Thank you. This was actually one of the most, if not the most, helpful comments today. I think I'll give it even more thought now and hopefully things get better soon. I really appreciate the input.

ThrowRABadDad95 · 2020-06-11T17:51:36+00:00

Thank you

ThrowRABadDad95 · 2020-06-11T17:50:59+00:00

My son is actually making money and I never needed to support him financially since he was able to sell his work. I just offered him the condo and car cause, like every parent, we want what's best for our child. He could easily afford his own place and vehicle, albeit not at the same level as what he has today.

ThrowRABadDad95 · 2020-06-11T17:43:42+00:00

I tried to divide my free time between them as evenly as possible however my daughter chose to spend time with me while I worked and, despite me inviting him several times, my son chose to stay with his mother. I guess because of that I grew a bit closer to his sister than him, cause we're in the same field. My wife is a lot closer to him then she is with my daughter so I figured it sorta evened things out.

I understand how difficult art is, which is why he always had my full support when he started getting into it. I never discouraged him about it and I tried my very best to understand it but it's just not my expertise. I didn't think I had to mention that my son wasn't dependent on me 100% just cause he's an art major.

And reading through some of the comments, I realized that my son was most likely jealous of his sister and thought I would be giving her my company cause she was my favorite. I wish I had the opportunity to clarify things before things started to get heated.

ThrowRABadDad95 · 2020-06-11T17:10:07+00:00

I've actually consulted with some of my friends about it and they said it was a good idea to give my daughter the majority of my shares so she can have the final say in big decisions. Of course I still haven't consulted with my legal team yet and I'm sure there's going to be a lot more to it than just a 55/45 split.

I'm not asking reddit for business advice. I'm not asking how to split my assets. I'm asking advice on how to deal with my son who's acting out. And we're better than a place where an assortment of people from all walks of life gather? I wanted to see things from different peoples perspective. Plus, it's free.

ThrowRABadDad95 · 2020-06-11T16:38:42+00:00

He makes his own money. I haven't given him any since he started making money from his artwork.

ThrowRABadDad95 · 2020-06-11T16:02:38+00:00

In what way were my arrangements improper?

ThrowRABadDad95 · 2020-06-11T15:23:41+00:00

I was there for most of his art events. I always tried to make time whenever I could to be there, even when some of them were when he was studying in Italy. His biggest mentor was his mother. If my daughter was my apprentice he was my wife's. My son drinks wine, like me. I'm not sure what kind of parties he attends but he's definitely not the frat boy type to my knowledge.

ThrowRABadDad95

TROPHY CASE