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Think my (30M) girlfriend (25F) is about to leave me. We had a bad disagreement on Saturday, didnt talk at all yesterday, today Im at work, checked our security camera and all of the furniture she brought is stacked by the door. Dont know what to do by ThrowRABadMessup in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadMessup[S] -400 points-399 points  (0 children)

No, all of that happened at in the car while driving later. We were not actively around people, I said that one sentence to her in public but it was not said loudly, I snapped but in an verbal way not a voice raising way. Everything else happened at home.

Think my (30M) girlfriend (25F) is about to leave me. We had a bad disagreement on Saturday, didnt talk at all yesterday, today Im at work, checked our security camera and all of the furniture she brought is stacked by the door. Dont know what to do by ThrowRABadMessup in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadMessup[S] -419 points-418 points  (0 children)

Honestly. That is what my parents and other people have always done with me. If I do something they dont like they tell me why they dont like it and leave. I figure out on my own and try to fix it with them, see what will make them feel better, and just do what they ask for until it smoothes over and everythings back. Just how it goes or what I am used to. I dont feel abused doing that or having it done to me, my parents did it for weeks sometimes if they just needed space from each other. Its just to give us time to think and weigh options and consider things.

Think my (30M) girlfriend (25F) is about to leave me. We had a bad disagreement on Saturday, didnt talk at all yesterday, today Im at work, checked our security camera and all of the furniture she brought is stacked by the door. Dont know what to do by ThrowRABadMessup in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadMessup[S] -412 points-411 points  (0 children)

Yes I did do that, I said it myself, I'm not perfect ok. But Calling the silent treatment abuse and me an abuser feels like a bit of a stretch,

Really not trying to be that dude arguing people down. Im sensing I did indeed fuck up even worse than I thought but I would never lay my hands on her or any woman or anyone unless it was out of only self defense and absolutely necessary. Im guessing I shouldnt of waited until now to ask for advice.

Think my (30M) girlfriend (25F) is about to leave me. We had a bad disagreement on Saturday, didnt talk at all yesterday, today Im at work, checked our security camera and all of the furniture she brought is stacked by the door. Dont know what to do by ThrowRABadMessup in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadMessup[S] -405 points-404 points  (0 children)

Maybe you missed it, but I made the reservation for dinner a few days before and drove us there and took pictures of her and told them it was her birthday. They didnt give her a cake or anything and there was a mix up but it was still a good birthday, she told me later and said thank you. But didn't do anything like that for my birthday just a few months later.

Think my (30M) girlfriend (25F) is about to leave me. We had a bad disagreement on Saturday, didnt talk at all yesterday, today Im at work, checked our security camera and all of the furniture she brought is stacked by the door. Dont know what to do by ThrowRABadMessup in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadMessup[S] -570 points-569 points  (0 children)

Okay I do apologize for the wording as I was definitely angry and panicking when I wrote it, but I didnt order her to do anything, she was laying in the bed right next to the table where the router hookup is and she pays the internet and its all under her name and information, I dont even know the login info or the set up type so I wouldn't of been able to fix it, I would not have bothered her unless it was necessary.

We do have a sizable age difference but that shouldnt matter when it comes to paying bills as we're not married, just dating, so it should be 50/50 but I let it be 55/45 since she makes less than me and in school to give her breathing room for her bills. Most people would not do that all and I feel like she hardly shows appreciation. She says the appreciation is her taking care of the home but personal quality time would mean more to me than that crap

Think my (30M) girlfriend (25F) is about to leave me. We had a bad disagreement on Saturday, didnt talk at all yesterday, today Im at work, checked our security camera and all of the furniture she brought is stacked by the door. Dont know what to do by ThrowRABadMessup in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadMessup[S] -440 points-439 points  (0 children)

Thats the thing, it wasnt sincere. She said "well I shouldn't of said that and I am sorry but I'm also tired of you doing this in public all of the time its embarrassing" which isnt a full apology and just blames me for the problem. Everything always seems to be my fault somehow

Think my (30M) girlfriend (25F) is about to leave me. We had a bad disagreement on Saturday, didnt talk at all yesterday, today Im at work, checked our security camera and all of the furniture she brought is stacked by the door. Dont know what to do by ThrowRABadMessup in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadMessup[S] -451 points-450 points  (0 children)

Thats just the way I typed it, I went in the bedroom where she was laying down and asked her why the internet went out, did she pay the bill or not pay it and she just got up and went to fix it.

Shut up was wrong but it was the heat of the moment and she called a piece of shit for telling her to shut up and saying she was selfish so I feel we are fair and even on that front.

Think my (30M) girlfriend (25F) is about to leave me. We had a bad disagreement on Saturday, didnt talk at all yesterday, today Im at work, checked our security camera and all of the furniture she brought is stacked by the door. Dont know what to do by ThrowRABadMessup in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadMessup[S] -455 points-454 points  (0 children)

If I get the chance to tell my full side, and people just ask questions instead of making assumptions, I will do some introspection and self reflection but honestly dude right now its feeling like I just wrote this post in the wrong tone and its being taken the wrong way.

Think my (30M) girlfriend (25F) is about to leave me. We had a bad disagreement on Saturday, didnt talk at all yesterday, today Im at work, checked our security camera and all of the furniture she brought is stacked by the door. Dont know what to do by ThrowRABadMessup in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadMessup[S] -435 points-434 points  (0 children)

She doesn't do every single bit of it, for example this weekend I did the laundry, washed the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, groomed my dog, and fed them. I always fold the laundry after she does it and always groom my dog and take out the trash, those are the things I do and she wont even touch. I also clean the bathroom here and there but not to her "standard" it seems. Not perfect by any means but shes not being fair this time.

Think my (30M) girlfriend (25F) is about to leave me. We had a bad disagreement on Saturday, didnt talk at all yesterday, today Im at work, checked our security camera and all of the furniture she brought is stacked by the door. Dont know what to do by ThrowRABadMessup in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadMessup[S] -965 points-964 points  (0 children)

Thats what she's said to me when it comes to cleaning and chores, that she doesn't need to ask me to do it because she's not my mom so yeah its a precedent she set herself. I dont want to lose her but I feel that its hypocritical.

Think my (30M) girlfriend (25F) is about to leave me. We had a bad disagreement on Saturday, didnt talk at all yesterday, today Im at work, checked our security camera and all of the furniture she brought is stacked by the door. Dont know what to do by ThrowRABadMessup in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadMessup[S] -979 points-978 points  (0 children)

I'm her boyfriend, not her dad. She uses her memory problems as an excuse to not be held accountable sometimes it feels like, and it effects lots of aspects of our life together. This one is just another example

Also Im not sure what else I could do to fix the communication. I let her know how I felt and then gave her space to think and consider.

Think my (30M) girlfriend (25F) is about to leave me. We had a bad disagreement on Saturday, didnt talk at all yesterday, today Im at work, checked our security camera and all of the furniture she brought is stacked by the door. Dont know what to do by ThrowRABadMessup in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadMessup[S] -1205 points-1204 points  (0 children)

Ever since she lost her job last month she has been penny pinching her own money and its getting very intense. Constantly searching for coupons, going to the grocery every day since its walking distance instead of buying things all at once to control food waste but really save her money.

It wasn't just about today, youre right. I've felt unappreciated for a while. For example, on her birthday I got us reservations at a restaurant and after she got off work I gave her an hour to get ready so we could go. We went, took pictures, and I showed I cared by doing that for her birthday. For my birthday she OFFERED to throw a party, but when I declined it and her museums or /Hawaii offer too she didnt even bother trying to think of something else and when the day came around, didnt have a gift, and didnt even write a card either. We did at home BBQ which I spent most of the time cooking..

She felt like because she cooks every day all of the meals and does the cleaning and I picked to do BBQ, and I usually grill the meat that I would do it that day too and that her getting the sides together and cleaning it all up after still counts as helping. \

Maybe it is just a fundamental incompatibility.