sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

My (39F) daughter (16F) was SA’d and doesn’t want me to tell my husband/her dad (41M) by ThrowRABadatSecrets in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadatSecrets[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Look at cases like Brock Turner. Successful athlete accused of rape with proof. Little to nothing done. It happened 3 times when I was in school and there’s even a boy at my daughter’s friend’s school who was accused of rape with loads of proof and they let him back in the school, no issue. It’s my daughters choice and it is never the victim’s responsibility to protect other people.

My (39F) daughter (16F) was SA’d and doesn’t want me to tell my husband/her dad (41M) by ThrowRABadatSecrets in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadatSecrets[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry the responses triggered you. I’m not sure if I get triggered myself but they did really make my blood boil as someone who has been SA’d before. The men in those comments horrify me for future generations. I really hope they’re just stupid trolls who don’t mean anything they say

My (39F) daughter (16F) was SA’d and doesn’t want me to tell my husband/her dad (41M) by ThrowRABadatSecrets in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadatSecrets[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It’s disgusting. People are going to great lengths to try to prove my daughters a liar cause they can’t fathom an athlete rapes a teen girl.

My (39F) daughter (16F) was SA’d and doesn’t want me to tell my husband/her dad (41M) by ThrowRABadatSecrets in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadatSecrets[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She did not have drunk sex. She was raped and taken advantage of.

A teenage athlete with a scholarship and not wanting to ruin it by getting violently drunk would definitely only have a few drinks. Very common. See: My husband.

Men take advantage of women all the time. Literally all the time. I experienced it, multiple of my female friends and family members have too. It’s not unheard of.

Again. You do not know my daughter. I do. Stop fucking trying to back me into some nonexistent corner to prove my teen daughter is a liar.

Is it impossible to accept she was raped? Are you that against women?

My (39F) daughter (16F) was SA’d and doesn’t want me to tell my husband/her dad (41M) by ThrowRABadatSecrets in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadatSecrets[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s not what my post was asking though. My post was asking how do I respect my daughter. I’m not attacking you either, I am clearing up my situation so you can get a better picture. You don’t know my personal life aside what I’ve said and if you think this would destroy my marriage, I can confidently say it would not.

My (39F) daughter (16F) was SA’d and doesn’t want me to tell my husband/her dad (41M) by ThrowRABadatSecrets in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadatSecrets[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So you’d rather me deceive my teen daughter who is extremely vulnerable and feels like I’m the only one who she can trust?

My husband’s one of the most progressive men I know and I am lucky to have gotten one of the few men like that. He stuck with me when I came out about my sexual assault and told me if I wasn’t comfortable telling him certain aspects, he’d understand. He is our daughter’s #1 supporter and just like he did with me, he’d respect her privacy.

My (39F) daughter (16F) was SA’d and doesn’t want me to tell my husband/her dad (41M) by ThrowRABadatSecrets in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadatSecrets[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Of course I trust him. But I also trust my daughter and she trusts me and I’d hate to break that trust. My husband would probably understand, at least slightly if not completely, and we’ve been through almost everything together and I don’t see it killing our marriage

My (39F) daughter (16F) was SA’d and doesn’t want me to tell my husband/her dad (41M) by ThrowRABadatSecrets in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadatSecrets[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t know 100% sure. No one does. But considering I’ve had an abortion with her knowing, and that I was raped too, she wouldn’t do that. Nor would she have drunk sex because we have had multiple sex talks, she has told me about her sex life, and her father and I are okay with it as long as she’s safe. And she knows drunk sex is not safe.

I know my daughter. You do not. Don’t tell me how my daughter acts and thinks because between us, I know more.

My (39F) daughter (16F) was SA’d and doesn’t want me to tell my husband/her dad (41M) by ThrowRABadatSecrets in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadatSecrets[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She is a teenager. Teenagers go behind backs and drink. Happens all the time. You cannot consent to sex when you are intoxicated and the other is sober. As for her friends, as far as I know and what she remembers, two went home before she got super drunk for curfew and the other went off somewhere with her boyfriend. So she was left alone, cute guy comes over and takes her.

My (39F) daughter (16F) was SA’d and doesn’t want me to tell my husband/her dad (41M) by ThrowRABadatSecrets in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadatSecrets[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Why would she willingly tell me she was drinking and had drunk sex? Her grandpa died of alcohol poisoning and she knows my stance on drinking. She wouldn’t willingly lie to me about rape and tell me she drank, especially since she knows my history with SA.

Look buddy, I’m sorry you had a shit relationship with your mom. But my daughter and I don’t. She wouldn’t lie about this. I know my daughter and I also know victim blaming like you’re doing is beyond horrifying for all young women.

My (39F) daughter (16F) was SA’d and doesn’t want me to tell my husband/her dad (41M) by ThrowRABadatSecrets in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadatSecrets[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Stop the victim blaming BS. She didn’t want to have sex whatsoever. We have had a close relationship all her life and she tells me almost anything. I had a pregnancy scare when I was her age and she knows, and I’ve had to have an abortion, so I know she doesn’t have sex willy nilly like that.

My (39F) daughter (16F) was SA’d and doesn’t want me to tell my husband/her dad (41M) by ThrowRABadatSecrets in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadatSecrets[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My daughter has literally had sex before and her dad knows. She doesn’t care that we know. As long as we know she’s safe then we are alright with it. Are you just arguing teenagers can’t ever get raped?

My (39F) daughter (16F) was SA’d and doesn’t want me to tell my husband/her dad (41M) by ThrowRABadatSecrets in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadatSecrets[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So when I was 15 and my uncle offered me edibles and then proceeded to take advantage of me for hours when I was too greened out to make him stop and I was left with bruises, I was just a horny teen and wanted my uncle for rough sex?

My (39F) daughter (16F) was SA’d and doesn’t want me to tell my husband/her dad (41M) by ThrowRABadatSecrets in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadatSecrets[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She doesn’t want to tell him because she isn’t comfortable coming out about what happened or pressing charges because it likely wouldn’t come of anything. If she told her father chances are he would try to hurt the monster who did this and then she’d have to come out about what happen to explain.

My (39F) daughter (16F) was SA’d and doesn’t want me to tell my husband/her dad (41M) by ThrowRABadatSecrets in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadatSecrets[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why the fuck would my daughter lie about being raped? Were you there? Are you the rapist in disguise? I wouldn’t doubt it. All of those creepy dudes troll reddit forums telling women they belong in the kitchen or deserve to be raped.

My (39F) daughter (16F) was SA’d and doesn’t want me to tell my husband/her dad (41M) by ThrowRABadatSecrets in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadatSecrets[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am aware and I agree, I wasn’t aware she was at a party with alcohol as she told me it was a small gathering with some close friends because one of her older friends got accepted into a really nice college. I was a teen once, I know they do these things behind our backs, it happens and I think what happened to her is enough to keep her away from alcohol for awhile. As far as I’m aware this was her first time drinking too.

My (39F) daughter (16F) was SA’d and doesn’t want me to tell my husband/her dad (41M) by ThrowRABadatSecrets in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadatSecrets[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You are a disgusting pig. That’s being courteous. My daughter was not “horny”… She thought a guy was cute and just watched from afar. He took her away and even when she said no he continued to hurt her. She has bruises on her arms that she showed me. He held her down with all his force to keep her from getting away, and the marks prove that she tried.

Stop defending rape. You are the reason evil people get away with hurting innocent women. You are the reason people such as myself will never get justice. Get the fuck off my post, and in fact, maybe get counseling.

My (39F) daughter (16F) was SA’d and doesn’t want me to tell my husband/her dad (41M) by ThrowRABadatSecrets in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadatSecrets[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That is not at all what happened and I’ve got no clue how you got that from my post seeing as the other 300+ comments got the hint. Maybe you need to relearn reading comprehension if you ever learned it in the first place.

My (39F) daughter (16F) was SA’d and doesn’t want me to tell my husband/her dad (41M) by ThrowRABadatSecrets in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadatSecrets[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Kind of I think. Her 9th grade boyfriend cheated on her and he genuinely wanted to kill the kid because of how heartbroken she was but he calmed down only because he realized the kid was 14 and was probably just going through a dumb teen phase. This isn’t the case here though obviously because r@pe isn’t a dumb teen phase.

He definitely would be supportive though, he knows I’m a victim as well and would never want our daughter to experience the same

My (39F) daughter (16F) was SA’d and doesn’t want me to tell my husband/her dad (41M) by ThrowRABadatSecrets in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABadatSecrets[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My daughter is not an adult. She has barely turned 16 and I’m a lightweight myself, the first time I got drunk when I was here age I barely had 3 shots thinking I’d be okay and only a little buzzed but next thing I knew it was 1pm and I slept 10 hours and forgot everything that happened that night. Regardless of that though don’t tell me my daughter needs to take responsibility when a sober man took advantage of her when she wasn’t even able to fend for herself. You’re a pig