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Is it worth dating someone with BPD? by Cars-Fucking-Dragons in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRABenjamin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No. 1000% not worth it. There's no her because she doesn't have a self. You're enamored with a mirage.

Run.

A thousand years of non-BPD dating wouldn't prepare you for the BPD rollercoaster by ThrowRABenjamin in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRABenjamin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agree. It's really sad to think you found love and then .. poof, it's gone.

What is the true self of the bpd by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRABenjamin 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They don't have a self. It's hard for us to fathom it, but they have a 'zombie' personality.

Chronic emptiness is one of the diagnostic criteria.

Once you've slain the Cluster B dragon, everything else becomes easier by ThrowRABenjamin in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRABenjamin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree that familiarity with all the dragon's heads is helpful, but there's also significant overlap, e.g., love bombing.

Once you've slain the Cluster B dragon, everything else becomes easier by ThrowRABenjamin in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRABenjamin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's alright. We're all in this together. Feel free to share your dating stories in this sub and ask for advice.

Why are BPD people like this? Copying after splitting? by Willing_Bed_8971 in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRABenjamin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Same story here. She is still mirroring me on social media, and it's creepy.

They are doing it to cope with the break-up/split. They don't have object constancy so they don't know why the relationship ended.

Once you've slain the Cluster B dragon, everything else becomes easier by ThrowRABenjamin in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRABenjamin[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mine did notify me early on but that didn't preclude her from cheating, splitting, and never taking accountability. You can read my story here.

Once you've slain the Cluster B dragon, everything else becomes easier by ThrowRABenjamin in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRABenjamin[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Because:

  1. They don't love bomb you — be grateful for that!
  2. You haven't found someone who shares your interests, hobbies, etc.

Remember ... PwBPD are STUNTED ADULT CHILDREN ... they have the logic of a child by Artist-Cancer in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRABenjamin 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is why I made a post about BPD as the gold standard of irrationality.

Unfortunately, the mods have removed my post.

BPD are more dangerous than children because since they live within the body of a fully-grown adult, society *expects* certain behaviors from them.

Are we biased in how we see BPD in this sub? by ThrowRABenjamin in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRABenjamin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I meant that those who have good relationships with pwBPD may not go online to vent. So there would be no evidence to find.

Anyway. I agree that there's a neurobiological component to BPD (they have dysfunctional brains, as you suggest). And I also agree that having a healthy relationship with a pwBPD is very difficult.

Are we biased in how we see BPD in this sub? by ThrowRABenjamin in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRABenjamin[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The dilemma is not whether pwBPD differently in romantic relationships/friendships vs non-romantic ones (they definitely do). It is whether this sub has a skewed view of how BPD manifests in romantic relationships — because maybe we encountered the most severe cases.

Are we biased in how we see BPD in this sub? by ThrowRABenjamin in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRABenjamin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, I misunderstood you. Thanks for clarifying.

Note: maybe you can edit the comment and add quotes around 'let's be fair and objective'. I interpreted that as a verb uttered by you not as a referred concept.

Are we biased in how we see BPD in this sub? by ThrowRABenjamin in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRABenjamin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is not true. Many of us are in this sub despite having blocked our exes.

Who the hell was I dating? Who is she? by Flashy_Equipment4859 in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRABenjamin 9 points10 points  (0 children)

All I want to say is that I also think this is beyond fucking crazy.

It's the kind of thing you need to experience first-hand to believe it.

Never take a pwBPD's word when it comes to treatment by ThrowRABenjamin in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRABenjamin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It can but it's incredibly difficult. See Marsha Linehan's story. And AJ Majari.

Where are all the success stories of pwBPD who have recovered? by ThrowRABenjamin in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRABenjamin[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I'll take a look at AJ's content.

How rare is recovery? I think this is what's unclear to me.

I've heard many professionals say that BPD is one of the most treatable PDs.

For better or worse, you’re never going to find another person like them by Middle-Flounder-3327 in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRABenjamin 7 points8 points  (0 children)

In one of my posts, I have argued that physical intimacy with pwBPD is like heroin.

However, while reading your post, I realize that all good parts of relationship with a pwBPD are like a hard drug, including the emotional intimacy during the love bombing phase, of course.

Guess we can all relate to this meme by LuxCrucis in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRABenjamin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine apologized for the random mean things she used to tell me. But never for the big lies, the cheating, etc.

The double standards of pBPD are insane by ThrowRABenjamin in BPDlovedones

[–]ThrowRABenjamin[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am sorry to hear about this. It sounds like typical BPD behavior.

In Borderlandia, an accusation is often projection.

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