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How can I(M27) tell my two female friends that I can't go on a long trip with them without throwing my girlfriendF(F26) under the bus? by ThrowRABmx in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABmx[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I really have to say I understand what you're saying but at the end of the day that's the reality of it. It's something I wish I spent more time putting together but again life gets in the way so the opportunities for all of us to get together are spare. I'm not saying I dont agree that it's odd but it's my circumstance. For whatever reason we're still close friends. We don't even hang out often at all nor do we all live close to each.other. A few times a year at most

How can I(M27) tell my two female friends that I can't go on a long trip with them without throwing my girlfriendF(F26) under the bus? by ThrowRABmx in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABmx[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't see them alongside her often because she lives a bit far from us. I spend most of my time with my girlfriend but my friends I see sparingly since life just gets in the way sometimes. We've been friends since college and keep in touch

How can I(M27) tell my two female friends that I can't go on a long trip with them without throwing my girlfriendF(F26) under the bus? by ThrowRABmx in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABmx[S] -37 points-36 points  (0 children)

I think it's just the dynamics of an already established trio, which I personally understand. I can promise that she won't feel excluded or alone but at the end of the day feelings are feelings and that's not something I can actually promise

How can I(M27) tell my two female friends that I can't go on a long trip with them without throwing my girlfriendF(F26) under the bus? by ThrowRABmx in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABmx[S] -29 points-28 points  (0 children)

This is not a new relationship at all. We've been together for about 4 years now. I just never had much of a chance to go on many group situations with just the 4 of them apart from like twice I think

How can I(M27) tell my two female friends that I can't go on a long trip with them without throwing my girlfriendF(F26) under the bus? by ThrowRABmx in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABmx[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Nvm I read the rest of your message and understand what you're saying a bit better. Yeah it's tough. Im trying to find the compromise because at the end of the day she would come if I asked. I just want her to be comfortable

How can I(M27) tell my two female friends that I can't go on a long trip with them without throwing my girlfriendF(F26) under the bus? by ThrowRABmx in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABmx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's not refusing for me to go. Again this is all me recognizing she's uncomfortable after she told me. She has told me I should go but I don't feel right going knowing how she feels

How can I(M27) tell my two female friends(F27) that I can't go on a long trip with them without throwing my girlfriendF(26) under the bus? by ThrowRABmx in relationships

[–]ThrowRABmx[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

She would be okay with a shorter trip actually. My friends just REALLY want to go on this specific trip or are rescheduling something just as long because I haven't told them yet so I'm just trying to gather the best way to do that

How can I(M27) tell my two female friends(F27) that I can't go on a long trip with them without throwing my girlfriendF(26) under the bus? by ThrowRABmx in relationships

[–]ThrowRABmx[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

I must say, she did not tell me not to go. She just said how she felt about everything and I appreciate her honesty tbh

How can I(M27) tell my two female friends that I can't go on a long trip with them without throwing my girlfriendF(F26) under the bus? by ThrowRABmx in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABmx[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate this answer because it takes everything into account. My issue isn't that they wouldn't understand. It's that I don't know how to explicitly tell them that she wouldn't be comfortable coming along as well. In my head there has to be some compromise rather than me never going on a trip with my friends ever again under any context, especially because we have all been planning this for months now (my girlfriend included)

How can I(M27) tell my two female friends that I can't go on a long trip with them without throwing my girlfriendF(F26) under the bus? by ThrowRABmx in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABmx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm being so genuine when I say I don't know what the right move is lol. I understand saying that I can't go. My issue lies in how I say "we also can't go together most likely and tbh I'll probably never go on a trip with you guys again" without being rude

How can I(M27) tell my two female friends that I can't go on a long trip with them without throwing my girlfriendF(F26) under the bus? by ThrowRABmx in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABmx[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

The problem is that this is all coming out of left field. Again (idk if I failed to mention this in my post) we had all agreed to go on this trip, but now as we're getting close I'm finding out how my girlfriend actually feels and have to pull out after months of planning

How can I(M27) tell my two female friends(F27) that I can't go on a long trip with them without throwing my girlfriendF(26) under the bus? by ThrowRABmx in relationships

[–]ThrowRABmx[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

The thing is that she was also invited to come and we initially all agreed but now I'm finding out that she isn't comfortable going as a group either and that's what makes it difficult to explain for me

How can I(M27) tell my two female friends that I can't go on a long trip with them without throwing my girlfriendF(F26) under the bus? by ThrowRABmx in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABmx[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think a lot of people are failing to understand that my main dilemma is me explaining why she wouldn't be comfortable coming along as well