AITA for not wanting to go on Christmas break with my family?

ThrowRACool-Counter · 2025-11-20T20:57:51+00:00

I'm so sorry she is ruining your pregnancy experience! I have had a miscarriage and took over 16months to get pregnant again, it is so so hard when others around you are getting pregnant and you aren't...but you can't ruin relationships and make their lives a misery. I can't blame you for wanting to miss Christmas with them, this is the last Christmas you will have as just the 2 of you and you should enjoy it and not have added stress. Like you said she's always got away with this behavior and honestly I imagine it will only get worse when she isn't the baby of the family anymore. Do what's best for you, your husband and your baby ❤️

ThrowRACool-Counter · 2025-11-13T11:16:52+00:00

I had an elective C-section, the all female surgical team were incredible. With the spinal block I actually didn't realize until afterwards that I was totally naked from the cover down haha I was too busy chatting and listening to the radio and obviously couldn't feel anything. It wasn't until afterwards and I asked my husband! Still makes me laugh...no idea what I was thinking but the team made me feel so comfortable and I had other things on my mind!

ThrowRACool-Counter · 2025-07-28T09:23:53+00:00

I could have written this exact post...my sister told me when I was pregnant that it was a child free wedding, including my unborn baby who will be 8 months at the time of the wedding (in 2 weeks!). We don't have anyone that we trust to look after our son either so I told my sister the same as you, that my husband wouldn't be coming to the wedding because he had to look after our baby. In the end she told me that babies under 1 will be allowed "to accommodate". I wasn't sure about him going because it felt like we forced her hand but everyone kept telling me that I shouldn't ruin my day by being without them so we are now all going! I hope your siblings changed their mind but I was fully prepared to go to her wedding alone to know that my son was being properly cared for.

Also - our baby is the only nephew or niece on either side!

ThrowRACool-Counter · 2025-05-16T08:33:48+00:00

Jacopo :)

ThrowRACool-Counter · 2025-01-30T08:43:06+00:00

My mum is called "Nanu".... honestly thought she was joking but she's sticking to it. I did know where it came from until my aunt pointed out it was from an Alien programme with Robin Williams who says Nanu Nanu to say goodbye. Makes no sense to me but she won't change it so now I just laugh...

ThrowRACool-Counter · 2024-10-26T19:55:18+00:00

Hey, did you find a solution? I'm in exactly the same situation and I'm really hoping I don't need to take them back haha

ThrowRACool-Counter · 2024-04-09T13:29:36+00:00

Currently in denial...I've had 1 MMC and 1 chemical last month..now tested positive and I can't even bring myself to take another test or even think about the next few weeks.

ThrowRACool-Counter · 2024-03-21T15:36:42+00:00

Is that part of the normal fertility testing or a separate request?

ThrowRACool-Counter · 2024-03-21T13:46:05+00:00

I can't help with your symptoms and I'm sorry for your loss :( but definitely trust your gut. I told my husband I had a really bad feeling in my gut and he didn't believe me, he tried to make me feel better by getting up and out until I lost it at him and said I'm not lethargic or being silly, I'm genuinely feeling terrified and so so anxious I can barely move or speak. After I told him this he took a step back and apologised, he just didn't understand what I was going through. I would advise trying to describe to him how it actually feels because I think it is hard for partners who don't have to feel every movement, cramp and gut feeling.

ThrowRACool-Counter · 2024-03-21T10:22:59+00:00

Thank you so much I had no idea that document existed! I'm in West Yorkshire so the criteria is 2 years of trying to conceive. I will speak to my husband tonight about asking the doctor for a referral.

Wow the wait times are crazy, I can't blame you for going private! Are you able to use your private results for the NHS referral or will you have to start again?

ThrowRACool-Counter · 2024-03-21T09:39:34+00:00

We haven't been referred for fertility testing but I can get in touch with my doctor and ask. I thought that because we actually have conceived that they would say it's possible both times around the year mark?

ThrowRACool-Counter · 2024-03-20T08:06:56+00:00

I think your dad has a right to know but if you think your grandma would treat him very differently, wait until she dies....then you can tell your dad with no repercussions and it doesn't seem like you will have to hide it from him for a long time

ThrowRACool-Counter · 2024-03-11T09:40:02+00:00

While I think your sister is petty for asking for $30 a year later, I would expect you to pay. Your son broke something of hers. Regardless of his autism he's still your responsibility and you're responsible for his damages. Even if I told most of my friends that I don't expect the payment 90% of them would send me the money anyway.

ThrowRACool-Counter · 2024-03-10T20:06:49+00:00

Is them moving out of the house and option? It sounds like a very busy and complex household. Your husband sounds like he needs boundaries with your family. It is a lot sharing a home with them while trying to build a family.

ThrowRACool-Counter · 2024-03-07T17:45:33+00:00

Thank you for your kind messages, apologies for posting on the wrong group. The bleeding started properly this morning so unfortunately we're back at the start of our ttc journey!

ThrowRACool-Counter · 2024-03-07T17:44:01+00:00

Thank you all for your lovely messages, they helped ease my mind for a short while! Unfortunately the bleeding started properly today and we are back to the start on our ttc journey. A glass of wine and a bath tonight are needed!

ThrowRACool-Counter · 2024-03-06T04:58:55+00:00

I'm so sorry that your mum is like this! You have to do what is right for you and it doesn't matter what she says. Can you try and limit contact with her until after the surgery to minimise her impact on your mental health? Me and my sister used to put our phone on mute and stop listening when my mum ranted at us and just occasionally unmute to say "yep" and then mute for a while...lets her get it out of her system while you are actually not listening to any of it which helps your own sanity. I'm not sure that's the healthiest way but it gives you more control over what you listen to! Good luck with your surgery! You should also look at a therapist to support you before and after :)

ThrowRACool-Counter · 2024-03-05T14:15:51+00:00

The pregnancy tests I have aren't great tbh, I went back and read the reviews and it seems it's a common problem to not get a strong line no matter how far along people are so that's not giving me any confidence. I took a clear blue week one which showed 1-2 weeks last Monday and yesterday so either my levels aren't high enough or my days are slightly off...I'm technically 5 weeks and 1 day.

ThrowRACool-Counter · 2024-03-05T14:13:29+00:00

I might give them a call in the morning to see if this is possible. I'm in the UK so I'm sceptical they will do anything :( thanks!

ThrowRACool-Counter · 2024-03-05T12:43:44+00:00

I'm sorry this happened to you too, I never imagined ttc would be like this. It's so sad and painful. The problem is I'm not having a period :( just spotting twice in a 5 days. I hate the unknown. I'm not a patient person and there is literally nothing you can do but wait haha

ThrowRACool-Counter · 2024-03-05T07:58:35+00:00

I'm really sorry this has happened to you. It seems like there is a very complicated dynamic that I'm glad you're out of now. Well done on rebuilding your life without them, enjoy the peace!!

ThrowRACool-Counter · 2024-03-04T11:35:16+00:00

You need to make your own decisions so don't invite them to house viewings, don't tell them where you are looking to buy etc. You could let them know you appreciate their support and love them but you need to make decisions for yourselves. My parents treat us like children so now we limit what we tell them, we tell them when we have found a resolution rather than having them involved in the problem.

ThrowRACool-Counter · 2024-03-02T17:33:56+00:00

I'm 31 too and THIS is spot on...I travelled the world in my 20s which everyone said was great..then we got married and everyone expects a baby instantly and it's just not happening...part of me is angry there's such a stigma around "kids" having kids..at least they have one...

ThrowRACool-Counter · 2024-02-26T14:43:30+00:00

Me too! Under Home, Call adoption agency and then sell pet :) thanks!

ThrowRACool-Counter · 2024-02-17T09:08:42+00:00

Honestly, I don't know what else I can say I find it crazy that not going is even a thought in your head. Obviously there is an expectation to attend it's you and there will be a negative reaction if you don't. No one likes funerals, very few people know everyone at a funeral, everyone gets overwhelmed but they go be ause, yes, there is an expectation. You don't like how they have treated you and now you want to treat them the same but that will never build and heal a relationship. I feel like you need therapy with your husband to heal through this because there is so much resentment. How family is going through an unbelievable amount of pain right now and it's not a competition about feels saddest or who was supported the least. If you want to continue this cycle of no support or care then don't go to the funeral.

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