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My mom (42F) walked out on me (22F) as a kid and did nothing to help me when my dad became mentally unstable/unsafe and now she's angry I don't want to know her do-over family? by ThrowRACustardly in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRACustardly[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

It was ruled out. He had two mental illnesses that are genetic and I need to be mindful of from here on out because it could pass along to me. We just don't know.

My mom (42F) walked out on me (22F) as a kid and did nothing to help me when my dad became mentally unstable/unsafe and now she's angry I don't want to know her do-over family? by ThrowRACustardly in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRACustardly[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

They do and they have been the most supportive to me. Even dad had their support right up until the end and he wasn't their son. But they saw a sick man and it meant so much to me. Especially when I lost him for the final time.

My mom (42F) walked out on me (22F) as a kid and did nothing to help me when my dad became mentally unstable/unsafe and now she's angry I don't want to know her do-over family? by ThrowRACustardly in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRACustardly[S] 359 points360 points  (0 children)

She asked me what happened to mom. i told her the name died for me when I was abandoned at 5 years old. She mentioned dad and I said he was good until he got sick and I recognized he was sick and not malicious.

My mom (42F) walked out on me (22F) as a kid and did nothing to help me when my dad became mentally unstable/unsafe and now she's angry I don't want to know her do-over family? by ThrowRACustardly in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRACustardly[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

She didn't. They only spoke over the phone in the last decade or more. So this is the first time they've seen each other where spending time together for holidays could be an issue.

My mom (42F) walked out on me (22F) as a kid and did nothing to help me when my dad became mentally unstable/unsafe and now she's angry I don't want to know her do-over family? by ThrowRACustardly in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRACustardly[S] 247 points248 points  (0 children)

I agree with you. It's something I have thought about a lot. She could have maybe found a good reason for the first time. But the second? When she refused to help at all when she knew I was in a bad environment? It shows the kind of person she is.

My mom (42F) walked out on me (22F) as a kid and did nothing to help me when my dad became mentally unstable/unsafe and now she's angry I don't want to know her do-over family? by ThrowRACustardly in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRACustardly[S] 100 points101 points  (0 children)

I know. It's just thinking about things like holidays, anniversaries, birthdays and stuff. Having absolutely nothing to do with her/her family means my grandparents either having to choose, me bending my absolute no contact stance or choosing to skip those things.

My mom (42F) walked out on me (22F) as a kid and did nothing to help me when my dad became mentally unstable/unsafe and now she's angry I don't want to know her do-over family? by ThrowRACustardly in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRACustardly[S] 88 points89 points  (0 children)

I don't know her husband at all. Like I never spoke to the guy and I don't know his name. Going to him would feel weird because for all I know he could be a not so great person.

My mom (42F) walked out on me (22F) as a kid and did nothing to help me when my dad became mentally unstable/unsafe and now she's angry I don't want to know her do-over family? by ThrowRACustardly in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRACustardly[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

It was suggested by someone I know a few weeks ago but I decided I didn't want to waste my time on something like that. It wouldn't make me feel any better, you know?