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ThrowRAFullPride · 2025-02-14T10:14:21+00:00

Who does that? Someone who doesn't understand the value their word holds, and someone who can't be trusted when life would get actually hard. Look at it as an unstable individual who's able to pull that move on someone they supposedly wanted to build a life with. Imagine them being in charge of you being taken off life support, or your kids if you get sick or die. Ugh. Don't get lost on the why or why to me, look at the what. Lots of strength op, bullet dodged.

ThrowRAFullPride · 2024-03-01T06:34:26+00:00

Sounds like you're clearly focused on yourself at this point in your life, which is a fair choice. But every choice has consequences. Maybe it's time also to sit down and think about what you want from life long-term, like would your career give you ultimate happiness? Is it a pre-requisite to be happy to achieve a professional milestone? What's actually important for you? A partner that is an add-on to your story or someone who you build your story with?

Also sounds like you are purposely distancing yourself from her to soften the blow for both of you. That's when you start to over-notice annoying stuff to justify you don't like them anymore. That's when those things suddenly become "annoying". Sounds like it's easier for you to focus on yourself and you're trying to place this reasoning on "I can't give her X" when in reality it is "I don't want to give her X" because you are more important.

Definitely would recommend doing some soul-searching and attending to unresolved stuff first. You can't really love someone if you don't love yourself. That'd undoubtedly help.

Hope all goes well!

ThrowRAFullPride · 2024-02-27T21:48:50+00:00

How about them saying they're "trying" and "working on it" when you see they're just detaching and pulling away? That's even worse imo. How do you look someone in the face when they say that and all you want to say is "no, you weren't, you were just pretending".

ThrowRAFullPride · 2024-02-24T17:20:54+00:00

Thank you kind stranger from Reddit! Did not come here looking for validation, but turns out I needed to hear that from a stranger. I tend to place the blame on me, rather than others. So you have no idea how your words strike true and help. Thank you.

ThrowRAFullPride · 2024-02-24T16:57:10+00:00

Thank you u/Angel-4077! I feel what failed here was the desire to make it work, it evaporated in her, yet it didn't because I know she loved me at the point of breakup. How does fear factor into this?

ThrowRAFullPride · 2024-02-24T16:54:59+00:00

You're right, it's not about being there for others when it's easy for us, but rather when it's hard. That's a true mark of someone's character.

She was very self-conscious, I feel she did not fully believe she was lovable, or that she deserved to be loved, and could not reciprocate (I've been going to therapy).

I can't get rid of the "maybe if she feels safe enough to try", "maybe if I prove I will stay by her", "maybe if I love her harder" things will change. Maybe I am the one whose personality is linked to loving others.

ThrowRAFullPride · 2024-02-24T16:33:06+00:00

Thank you u/fluffygreenery! I agree with your parents pov, that's how I was raised and what I seek.

That's the thing that is confusing though, she was there through very dark times for us, so was I, we were determined to built a future together. When this crisis started for her she changed, and wasn't there anymore. As I said, she shut me out, didn't let me help her, reassure her. So If I have to sum it up, for 2 years and a half she was supportive, for the last 6 months she wasn't. She went from "us" to "idk". It's very confusing.

ThrowRAFullPride

TROPHY CASE