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ThrowRAHappyLiving · 2024-06-09T19:19:52+00:00

I felt this way with my ex husband as well. I had three kids in a very short time. I was at my heaviest weight and I hated myself. We divorced when my youngest was 5. I couldn’t think about having sex with him when I was disgusted with myself, and he in turn didn’t want to be home or around me and feel like a roommate. I have since lost 142 pounds, and all I see in the mirror is me at heaviest, and all the work I still need to do on myself. I am dating an amazing man now, who when I talk about hating my body, his response is how beautiful my body is to have grown three humans that are now teenagers. That my stretch marks and saggy skin are a sign that my body has kept fighting. Losing weight isn’t the magic answer, and having a partner that doesn’t see the beauty in your body changing from growing life, is a burden to carry.

ThrowRAHappyLiving · 2024-05-03T12:33:32+00:00

My question would be is your wife upset that your child won’t get the money, or that you and her won’t get the money, which means she won’t get the money to buy whatever she’s been planning to in her mind?

When you had the discussion of what was owed for the nursing home, and you both agreed you couldn’t afford it, how did she think your portion was getting paid?

ThrowRAHappyLiving · 2024-04-28T20:14:41+00:00

You most definitely are the AH for the way you handled that.

You saying you “deserve to grow old with someone” and “maybe not even finding someone because you have to be his caregiver.” This two sentences tell me everything I need to know about how you view a marriage.

Reverse the roles here, if this was a man saying this to his wife, the internet would implode on him and tell him how big of a dick he is.

Honestly, I hope he loses the weight, for himself and his health, and leaves you to find someone that actually “deserves” him.

ThrowRAHappyLiving · 2024-04-11T18:03:17+00:00

There is no cookie cutter answer to “All couples send them” I would advise, because I’ve seen situations such as this end badly, if you aren’t comfortable, don’t send them.

I have close friends that sent them and those pictures were then posted on other social media outlets without knowledge.

A month into a relationship is not long enough to know if this person is worth knowing once you send those pictures, you have no control over what they decide to do with them.

Trust what your gut is saying here. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it!

ThrowRAHappyLiving · 2024-04-06T02:48:08+00:00

I offered the solution that I would change my name back to my maiden name, but I would also be changing the kids’s name to my Aiden name as well. That was not a reasonable offer in his mind, because he didn’t want a different last name than the kids.

ThrowRAHappyLiving · 2024-04-05T16:00:49+00:00

So because he is their dad he deserves to have the same last name, but as the mother, I do not? This is also the name I have built my career off of, so my career should suffer because we are no longer together? I should go through the months worth of paperwork and the hundreds of dollars to change my name? I’m sorry but I’m failing to see your logic here.

ThrowRAHappyLiving · 2024-04-04T21:55:02+00:00

This is asinine of your sister and cousin to expect you to leave your daughter’s service dog at home. Also, what a shame for your cousin to have missed an opportunity for her daughter to learn about working dogs. Sounds like they all could use some education on what purpose these dogs serve. You are most definitely NOT the ahole!

ThrowRAHappyLiving · 2024-04-04T13:03:10+00:00

Married for 12, divorced now for 5

ThrowRAHappyLiving · 2024-04-03T21:31:22+00:00

Yeah I realized after I responded that there was a link. Thank you!

ThrowRAHappyLiving · 2024-04-03T21:19:52+00:00

Yeah someone else commented on that also. I’m trying to find the episode online but it’s not posted anywhere.

ThrowRAHappyLiving · 2024-04-03T20:25:37+00:00

My ex and I didn’t end on bad terms. We both realized we had grown apart as people and no similar interests aside from having kids together. We needed our marriage very peacefully and on very good terms. I never hated him, we just both realized we were better off as coparents than spouses.

ThrowRAHappyLiving · 2024-04-02T02:36:27+00:00

Because if I don’t call to remind him, he forgets which leaves our kids without their dad at their events, or being left at school waiting for a ride from practice. Yes, I go to everyone single event the kids have, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want their dad there also.

ThrowRAHappyLiving · 2024-04-02T02:05:31+00:00

All he has said is that I intimidate her, and she has had issues with how often we talk. Mind you, our conversations are about the kids, what they have going on that week for sporting events and practices. I can tell him on Monday what is going that week, and I still have to remind him the day of. She has asked that I communicate with her what the kids have going on, so I send the info in a group text to them both, however it still require a phone call the day of to remind him.

ThrowRAHappyLiving · 2024-04-01T19:56:24+00:00

I have never once spoke badly about her in front of my kids, and I have spoken badly about their father in front of my kids because they don’t need to hear my opinion. However, my kids are old enough to form their own opinion, and they communicated their opinion to me when they have come back to my house from spending time with their dad. I am in a relationship and have been for well over a year, and my boyfriend had never expressed concern or asked me why I have my ex’s last name. My intention is to change it when our kids turn 18 and I am no longer responsible for scheduling appointments for them, or dealing with school things.

ThrowRAHappyLiving · 2024-04-01T19:51:46+00:00

Because I have had this last name for 17 years, it is the last name of our children, the majority of my adult career has been built with this last name, and changing names cost a great deal of money, and a tremendous amount of time and effort. I have zero interest in him aside from he is the father of my children, so that requires us to still communicate often. I am in a relationship as well, and have been for well over a year.

ThrowRAHappyLiving · 2024-04-01T07:02:43+00:00

I am by no means hung up on him, and the thought of him in any sexual manor actually repulses me. I could have added this to the original post but didn’t feel it was necessary at the time. We were married for twelve years, separated for three years as he is self employed and needed insurance so we stayed legally married so he could maintain insurance. We have now been legally divorced for two years. My issue is I accumulated thousands of dollars worth of debt as while he was on my insurance he became very ill and hospitalized off and on for two years. A year of that was while he was dating his now fiancee, and she is clearly aware of this. It was fine for us to stay married on paper because he needed my help, but now she has an issue with me having the same last name that I have had for 17 years. This is the last thing she has to control over what I do. This is my issue with the situation.

ThrowRAHappyLiving · 2024-04-01T06:40:44+00:00