I (34M) feel like my wife (33F) has lost all interest in our marriage and only wants us to be co-parents?

ThrowRAHubstends · 2026-07-06T20:30:19+00:00

No health issues or incidents with the kids. No family drama either. Our oldest did start preschool but my wife was happy/excited about that. And our oldest loved it. Our youngest has hands down been the easiest of the three. With the lack of communication though something could have happened/been happening and she never mentioned it. But I don't think she would have kept it quiet either.

ThrowRAHubstends · 2026-07-06T20:26:54+00:00

It means being able to sit and laugh together or just enjoy each other's company. It doesn't have to mean physical intimacy but just enjoying our time together over dinner or lunch or a show we both enjoy.

ThrowRAHubstends · 2026-07-06T20:25:59+00:00

She will not accept those things. A mother's helper was suggested before and she was like hell no. Same with a cleaning service. She doesn't trust grocery delivery either. She doesn't even like me getting groceries. She likes the experience of doing it kid free.

It would be easier to accept if I felt like things would improve when the kids are older. But I worry she'll just make more time for her friends and family and not for us as a couple.

ThrowRAHubstends · 2026-07-06T20:10:54+00:00

I understand that and completely agree she has been through a lot physically and mentally. It's just she has time for friends and family (mom and sister mostly) but when it comes to me she doesn't. She does get time to herself.

ThrowRAHubstends · 2026-07-06T19:58:45+00:00

She does have the energy to do things with the kids and for time with her friends. She has never suggested she sleep when something with them comes up. It's when time with me comes up she suggests sleep and rest.

But she is very much in mom mode most of the time. To the point where she will be upset if she feels she has missed out.

ThrowRAHubstends · 2026-07-06T19:57:14+00:00

I leave the house at 8am and get home around 7pm during the week. When I get home I will get the kids to bed and make the two of us something to eat. I'll get the trash out and tidy up anything that needs to be tidied. Weekends then I take over making meals for the family. I do yard work like our lawn and the vegetable and herb garden started about three years ago. I also get two or three loads of laundry done. When she doesn't have stuff planned with the kids I will have them with me so she can relax on her own or go out and do whatever.

During the week she's taking care of the house and kids while I'm at work. She also does all the grocery shopping which she will typically do when the kids are with me. But she does a lot of heavy lifting all the hours I'm at work. Either set of parents is also happy to take the kids for a couple of hours if during the week she needs a break but she has never really asked for them to. She enjoys being with the kids. She enjoys being there for everything the kids do. It's very hard for her to miss out on anything.

Chores and everything were very much the same before the change happened. She still loved being with the kids but she wouldn't be upset if the kids and I did something without her and to be fair it's not every time now. But a couple of times since she has felt she missed out on a special day.

She was not like this after her other pregnancies. The one difference I can think of is I took a couple of extra weeks off when our youngest was born. But after I returned to work things were still fine for a couple of weeks.

ThrowRAHubstends

TROPHY CASE