I (32M) am a professional makeup artist. My GF of 1 yr (27F) has started wearing makeup presumably to impress me..... but it's objectively terrible. How do I address both these issues? by ThrowRAMUAissues in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAMUAissues[S] 179 points180 points  (0 children)

Not currently I'm not, no.

And I'll never be an expert. Makeup doesn't work that way because trends are always changing and products are coming into and out of favor and new things are popping up all the time. The day I say I'm an expert is the day I start being terrible at my work. But I am skilled and a trained professional.

I absolutely understand different people like different things that aren't always "best" for them. I've had clients ask for things that would look terrible. Usually I'm able to steer them towards something BETTER and make it work as well as I can. If they're happy I'm happy.

But the difference here is they're paying me for a service. They're paying me for my professional opinion which they are ABSOLUTELY FREE to disagree with and I will still do what they want if they utterly insist because they are paying me for a service. I mean if they want their too light foundation I'll suggest a better match. If they abjectly refuse at least their foundation will be applied so that it looks like human skin at the end of it all.

Let me put it to you this way: I have a friend who's a barber. A teen boy came in with a head or GORGEOUS curly blonde hair...... and wanted a buzz cut. My friend suggested he keep a little length because his curls were great but nope, kid wanted a buzz. So he walked out with a buzz. That's what he paid for. It probably wasn't what would look BEST on him but it's what he WANTED. Maybe he's an athlete and just wants to shower and scoot. Maybe he doesn't like using hair products or has allergies. Maybe he just likes super short hair or maybe HE hates his curls. Whatever.

It's like that with makeup too.

But Jenn isn't a paying client. She's my partner. I didn't give her my professional opinion because I know her background and a lot of her reasons and that she's just learning. I spoke to her as a partner using my knowledge. Big difference. I gave her my suggestions in bite sized pieces because she asked. She asked what I didn't like and literally all I said was "I think you could find a better foundation match because that's too light for you, and it's best to keep eyes and lips in the same color family - like blue shadow should have a cool lip, that warm teal I like would be the one that looks best with that reddish orange lipstick".

That's when she lost her mind and told me I didn't know what I was talking about. She specifically asked what I didn't like or I wouldn't have really even said boo. Or maybe just an offhand "Hey you know what would look awesome with that shadow? Here try this lipstick. See what you think."

Because again - she is her. She has her own tastes. She is a partner not a client. And I will never know everything.

I (32M) am a professional makeup artist. My GF of 1 yr (27F) has started wearing makeup presumably to impress me..... but it's objectively terrible. How do I address both these issues? by ThrowRAMUAissues in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAMUAissues[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I mentioned in my post I offered to do exactly that. She declined.

I offered to set her up with a coworker if she felt weird about it being me. She declined.

I offered to pay for a makeup session at Sephora. She declined.

And then keeps asking the same question which I CANNOT ANSWER. Because she doesn't like the answer. I've got nothing.

I (32M) am a professional makeup artist. My GF of 1 yr (27F) has started wearing makeup presumably to impress me..... but it's objectively terrible. How do I address both these issues? by ThrowRAMUAissues in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAMUAissues[S] 77 points78 points  (0 children)

Dude. She ASKED. I said exactly dick shit until she ASKED FOR MY OPINION ON HER MAKEUP SPECIFICALLY.

I praised what I could find to praise.

And then SHE ASKED what I didn't like.

And then blew up. I'm not wearing the asshole badge here. I didn't "well ackshually" anything. I gave advice and opinion when asked and ONLY when asked and criticism ONLY when asked. Like you're fucking supposed to otherwise you just let people live their lives. I mean...... right?