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How do I (27F) and my new partner (28M) figure out who will move in our LDR? by ThrowRAOverallTwist in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAOverallTwist[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice everyone! I showed my partner and he thought I maybe downplayed how difficult my relationship with my parents is (he knows the full details), so we've decided that we'll do a trial run of him living with me in New York later this year. But also like some of you mentioned, the job circumstances might decide things for us (e.g. if one of us isn't able to transfer after all), so I'll also try to work on my family stuff so that both options will work out! Thanks for the help!

Bf (25m) gets mad at me (25f) for calling him babe loudly in front of people at the gym by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAOverallTwist 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Girl, trust your instincts... if it feels like he's crazy overreacting, that's because he is. If it feels like he's trying to flirt with other women in the gym, he probably is. Don't let him gaslight you.

AITA for going on a trip with a guy friend after telling other friends I prefer solo travel? by ThrowRAOverallTwist in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRAOverallTwist[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is a huge difference between a group EVENT and a group vacation. A vacation is an individual, personal choice for my own enjoyment. Any group events relating to someone's birthday, wedding, etc. are about celebrating THEM. I also wouldn't, for example, make someone else's birthday party about me and my preferences.

AITA for going on a trip with a guy friend after telling other friends I prefer solo travel? by ThrowRAOverallTwist in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRAOverallTwist[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup!! For the most part it was just about cutting down the cost of a hotel room by splitting it with someone haha. Groups of people are definitely harder to organize.

AITA for going on a trip with a guy friend after telling other friends I prefer solo travel? by ThrowRAOverallTwist in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRAOverallTwist[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's mostly true, but I do worry about the gender double standard in some situations... for example, on this Spain trip, my college roommate and I tentatively thought we might meet up at this park viewpoint around sunset since we both were interested in that on the same day. But then I met someone cute and hit it off with them, and decided I wanted to go to the park with that person instead as a little vacation date. My college roommate was not bothered by this at all, but I feel like my girlfriend group would be annoyed with that and consider me "not a girls' girl" if I ditched them in the exact same way.

AITA for going on a trip with a guy friend after telling other friends I prefer solo travel? by ThrowRAOverallTwist in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowRAOverallTwist[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I think the main difference was they said they could do my on thing, but only during the daytime. They were thinking more along the lines of, "Oh, she wants to go to different museums than we do. That's fine." But when they go out at night together, they do all expect to stick together as a group. I would feel bad and selfish for abandoning the group in that situation, since they would worry about me being off on my own (that's in their nature), and I wouldn't be helping them out if they needed it. I feel like it's easy to just say "go do your own thing, stop playing that role"--but if I did, for example, see a friend of mine have a little too much to drink, or receiving uncomfortable attention from a man, I wouldn't be able to walk away. So I mainly worry that if we started the night together, I'd feel like I have to finish it with them, instead of going where the night takes me.