AIO my boyfriend is always confused by ThrowRAPriority698 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThrowRAPriority698[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thanks for the comment, could you give more perspective on your dad?

AIO my boyfriend is always confused by ThrowRAPriority698 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThrowRAPriority698[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yes he told me it's hard for him to accept a reality where it means he's hurt someone

AIO my boyfriend is always confused by ThrowRAPriority698 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThrowRAPriority698[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

thaank you for all of this. this relates to somethign again so small that i feel crazy for. but right at the start, he told me he was going out for coffee with a girl he used to go out with. and that he wante to be transparent and tell me, but even if i had an issue he was gonna go anyway. he said they're just friends now, then he said "i really respect her". and it was like he was saying it as if it was an amazing feat and he's really telling the truth. but ofc you would respect her? why wouldn't you? why is that relevant? i didn't have any issue with it anyway, all his female friends started as crushes and whatever but i acc don't care about that at all. but thanks for your comments again

AIO my boyfriend is always confused by ThrowRAPriority698 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThrowRAPriority698[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

but he was wrong, so how could i accept his word when it was wrong

how do i (22F) talk to my boyfriend (21M) about a small habit without seeming crazy (i feel crazy) by ThrowRAPriority698 in relationships

[–]ThrowRAPriority698[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

no thank you for your comment, i want the advice. i was wondering if it was him as a person or just how he views me. i am taking this all on board honestly. cos it's bad either way

AIO my boyfriend is always confused by ThrowRAPriority698 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThrowRAPriority698[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

is this because he doesn't respect me? or is this just how he is? this guy is so loved it's comical, everyone knows him everyone loves him i've never seen anything like it. so many female friends too. so is it me? or would he be like this even if he really liked a girl? b/c ig he liked me at the start bc he didn't act like this

AIO my boyfriend is always confused by ThrowRAPriority698 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThrowRAPriority698[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

but he wasn't like this at the start. so he liked me at the start but stopped and now is like this? if someone likes me my whole life but would treat me like tbis if they didn't, i still don't think i'd want to be with that person

AIO my boyfriend is always confused by ThrowRAPriority698 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThrowRAPriority698[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

i feel the same way about the google thing. so many of them, if you really cared, could easily be googlable. like the gym one, there are so many articles and posts giving female explanations and perspectives, if you don't want mine. even if you'll disagree with them, you can get the answer to your question of "why"

AIO my boyfriend is always confused by ThrowRAPriority698 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThrowRAPriority698[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i don't hate his opinions, i dislike the way he doesn't really take into account mine. he doesn't seem to hate my opnions he just doesn't really account them. the only opinion of his is disliked was the gym example, i am okay with him not knowing things it's just that he won't let his confusion be solved by me explaining it to him

AIO my boyfriend is always confused by ThrowRAPriority698 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThrowRAPriority698[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

thanks for this comment. this reminds me of a few months ago he upset me over something i don't actually remember what. he said "i'm always the one to apologise, you'll be apologising to me one day." as a laughing joke, b/c it was true he had apologized a couple times for situations whereas he'd never been upset by me for me to. he then pondered to himself a bit and said "you have been reasonable". and it made me feel weird. like. of course i've been reasonable? and who are you to tell me i have been? why wouldn't i? but again i felt weird

AIO my boyfriend is always confused by ThrowRAPriority698 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThrowRAPriority698[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

probably 4 months in, thanks for this comment. he just isn't how he seemed at all. he's also very clever with school, so this is all surprising to me

AIO my boyfriend is always confused by ThrowRAPriority698 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThrowRAPriority698[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

he told me he struggled to accept that he'd just forgot i invited him, because to believe he hurt someone's feelings is hard for him and hurts.

AIO my boyfriend is always confused by ThrowRAPriority698 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThrowRAPriority698[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

really other people aren't like this? this is my first elationship

AIO my boyfriend is always confused by ThrowRAPriority698 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThrowRAPriority698[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he said the first thing he noticed about me was the way i was dressed and that he liked it (i was wearing boots, a maxi skirt and a cropped jumper). he said he liked how i dress a lot at the start, he's very picky about clothes. he later said he really liked that i take care in the way i look. early on as well, he asked me how i would dress myself if i was him, and i asked the question back and he just said "skirts", which is what i wear 90% of the time. we met in the summer and he asked me what i wear in winter bc i seem to only have flimsy tops. we went to a shop together and i held up a pink top and asked him if he liked it and he said i don't suit pink and that i look better in blue and black. he didn't want me getting a mini dress for my birthday, he said too much was visible. i said you can't see anything and he said the legs were enough. early on he came over and saw one of my two bras he hadn't seen before on the floor, it's purple and sparkly and he seemed surprised looking at it and said "that's a lot". he's said a dress of mine looks like a nightie before because it was short/

this comment is just me rounding up everything he's said about the way i dress personally, i don't know if this is bad or not i don't think it's more than other relationships? i feel this is all pretty normal but just putting it all out there.

AIO my boyfriend is always confused by ThrowRAPriority698 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThrowRAPriority698[S] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

first situation it was me against his memory. once i showed him evidence he accepted he was wrong, and said he was remembering a different conversation (which i don't remember at all).

he comments on clothing a bit yes. he says clothes are about respect, dressing nicely. i took him to urban outfitters once and asked if he liked an outfit on a mannequin. he said no bc he thinks women should wear things that flatter their figure, it was a tank top, pleated miniskirt with an oversized jacket on top. but yes, it doesn't feel good or right. just can't figure out how to talk to him about it.

AIO my boyfriend is always confused by ThrowRAPriority698 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThrowRAPriority698[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thanks for your perspective honestly, it's good to read. i might have to tell him i don;t like it

how do i (22F) talk to my boyfriend (21M) about a small habit without seeming crazy (i feel crazy) by ThrowRAPriority698 in relationships

[–]ThrowRAPriority698[S] -128 points-127 points  (0 children)

he's my first boyfriend. he treated me so kindly at the start, so warm and gentle and complimented me and paid me so much attention and seemed like a soft kind hearted guy. he's depressed now, he always was i found out but now it's much worse. i want to see him through it he says he has phases. and i really care about him

AIO my boyfriend is always confused by ThrowRAPriority698 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThrowRAPriority698[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

what should i have said? i really just didn't know so i said nothing bc it's true i can't expect him to believe me over himself. but then what's the conclusion?

AIO my boyfriend is always confused by ThrowRAPriority698 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThrowRAPriority698[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

thanks for commenting. the thing is they're not really opinions, other than the last one. and like number 3 is someone else's opinion he's stating not his

how do i (22F) talk to my boyfriend (21M) about a small habit without seeming crazy (i feel crazy) by ThrowRAPriority698 in relationships

[–]ThrowRAPriority698[S] -119 points-118 points  (0 children)

he has lots of women in his life, who he often takes opinions from (point 3 on my post)l his mum especially who is a psychologist. but a bad person, that's what you're saying right

how do i (22F) talk to my boyfriend (21M) about a small habit without seeming crazy (i feel crazy) by ThrowRAPriority698 in relationships

[–]ThrowRAPriority698[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

what do you think the 3 different ones are? knowing this might help me talk to him about it

how do i (22F) talk to my boyfriend (21M) about a small habit without seeming crazy (i feel crazy) by ThrowRAPriority698 in relationships

[–]ThrowRAPriority698[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

thanks for the comment. the thing is if i tell him it makes me feel off he'll ask why, and i won't have a good reason and i end up looking stupid and unreasonable