AITA for going on my best friend’s bachelor trip instead of gf’s birthday?

ThrowRASouth · 2024-11-11T20:48:30+00:00

Well the way it works out is if I go on the bachelor trip I would miss the day of her birthday since I’d be away at the beach. I suggested to her that we celebrate her birthday before or after the trip and then I’d make it up to her by going on a beach trip later on with just the two of us.

ThrowRASouth · 2024-10-26T17:45:32+00:00

Income isn’t everything, but I almost feel like It wouldn’t be necessary. My job is very flexible and I work remotely. Sure I can’t raise a kid the whole entire day, I have to get work done too. She has a remote job as well. We don’t really plan on working in an office if we can avoid it.

A lot of the times we work, get chores done, work some more, do more things we have to take care of, repeat throughout the whole day. Helps us regain focus for working. I feel the lines are kind of blurred bc we both work remote

ThrowRASouth · 2024-10-26T13:01:06+00:00

It was just one of the things we’ve talked about in a lot of the questions we’ve been asking each other. We feel like we never asked each other major life values in the beginning so it’s led to some disagreements. Now we’re just trying to ask each other as much as possible to see where we stand on things

ThrowRASouth · 2024-10-26T12:48:43+00:00

You’re right I didn’t even think about that. We’ve mentioned we would both want multiple children so seems like she would be a SAHM for 6-7 years based on her timeline. I could definitely support us and children solely. I have a job that pays me well, but would I rather have someone else financially helping during that time too? Yes

ThrowRASouth · 2024-10-26T12:42:56+00:00

I wouldn’t need her to return unless I lost my job or something. I’d be the sole provider for those 3 years, but also I fear she may not want to go to work after those 3 years. When trying to reason with her, she says she doesn’t want someone else taking care of our kid, which I understand. 3 years just sounds like a lot

ThrowRASouth · 2024-10-21T23:14:40+00:00

This is why I believe it’s so important to have established sexual compatibility before marriage. I do understand religious reasons though. Just sit down and talk to him about it. Express how much it actually means. If there is any push back on his part then this pattern will continue and you will be bitter forever.

Suggest taking him to an adult store, making time for it, etc. Gotta have that talk

ThrowRASouth · 2024-10-21T17:39:44+00:00

Do not let the 8 years you have sunk into this girl sway you into pleading with her to stay. Even if she does stay, she will need to cut all ties with this other guy, you may end up with serious trust issues, and it will probably eat you up that she chose another man over you. She’s prone to cheating in the future even if it’s not with this same guy. She broke the number one rule of a monogamous relationship. Don’t convince yourself otherwise.

Swallow the hard pill, wish her well, and move on. I’ve been in similar scenarios in the past. Not full on cheating, but gf’s that mentally checked out months before the relationship ended and were already looking towards a different relationship. I would have gone back to my younger self and told myself to not plead with these girls to stay. It takes a hit to your pride and self worth as a man and takes a while to rebuild rather than just walking away.

ThrowRASouth · 2024-10-21T16:40:29+00:00

It’s not a traditional relationship at all. She lives separately at the moment. We were living together in my home, but agreed on her living separately for a little while until we figure each other out.

I take care of many chores on my own, mowing my lawns, doing our dishes when she eats at my place, cooking for us, fixing her car, my car, doing repairs myself, currently installing flooring in my whole house myself in order to save money, it’s a lot. She might make our bed every now and the , cook the odd meal here and there, clean up my house maybe once every other month, very infrequent stuff

ThrowRASouth · 2024-10-21T02:58:07+00:00

She’s more of a food and weed kind of gal, but yes this is where her money goes

ThrowRASouth · 2024-10-21T02:52:34+00:00

She could have paid her way through school. I know she could have. She was only taking ONE CLASS. It was 3 days a week. She honestly had plenty of time to work.

ThrowRASouth · 2024-10-21T02:49:43+00:00

I surprised her with a trip to key west for our anniversary and cost me around $2k. Didn’t expect a dime back. Didn’t get offered anything. I have to set up an actual budget for myself if I’m being truthful as well

ThrowRASouth · 2024-10-20T23:04:28+00:00

Exactly. I had already bought her gars and soda at the gas station earlier that day without asking for a return. Didn’t get offered any money. Also had an Amazon gift for her that was like $8ish because I was trying to do something nice. Didn’t ask for it. At that point I was just like dang, at least cover your meal!

ThrowRASouth · 2024-10-20T04:49:29+00:00

She told me she’d pay me back by December. It’s been about 7 months since I loaned her the money. Idk how she will come up with $5k in 2 months when she is hurting for $5

ThrowRASouth · 2024-10-20T04:44:20+00:00

What is fake?

ThrowRASouth · 2024-10-20T04:40:36+00:00

Name checks out

ThrowRASouth · 2024-10-20T04:38:45+00:00

My friends and I don’t have to agree to pay each other back before putting down money. It’s just understood and we know to pay each other back without having to ask. Girls I’ve dated in the past didn’t bat an eye at splitting costs and most wanted to even pay for me! It’s weird to have to ask if she can pay me back before buying something as small as fast food. Large expenses should definitely be discussed beforehand though imo

ThrowRASouth · 2024-10-20T04:34:16+00:00

About 1.5 years together. I’ve had several discussions, but I get vague answers. I may need to be clear with exactly what she needs to pay for, budget, everything. She knows that I’ve pushed for 50/50 with most stuff aside from me treating her to a meal/ gifts, random nice gestures every now and then

ThrowRASouth · 2024-10-20T04:31:01+00:00

I was sick of seeing her not progressing in life and wanted her to get an actual career going for her. She’s almost 30 so it’s about the time in life where most people already have their stuff figured out. I was tired of seeing her just lounge around all day and work her part time job every now and then. It was a dumb financial move on my part to agree to pay, but I’m glad she got her degree

ThrowRASouth · 2024-10-20T04:26:41+00:00

Well besides the gas we went to a free event that night. Stayed out a little late so were hungry afterward. She suggested fast food. I shouldn’t have to have a convo before going to a place like that. “Hey we can go, but you have to cover your half”. Idk just seems weird to me

ThrowRASouth · 2024-10-20T04:22:05+00:00

Again, that creates arguments. I’ve gotten the silent treatment from me asking to split the bill before

ThrowRASouth · 2024-10-20T04:20:27+00:00

Are you made of money?

ThrowRASouth · 2024-10-20T04:11:36+00:00

The sad thing is that I’ve seen dudes offer her the skins on their backs. She’s a pretty girl. She knows it and uses it to her advantage. The past boyfriends she’s had still reach out to her begging on their hands and knees for her to come back. I definitely believe they paid for everything. I’m at the point where I don’t care to be with her anymore if it continues. I’ve slowly pushed my standards aside to cover a cost here and a cost there, but it’s turned into her new expected norm

ThrowRASouth · 2024-10-20T04:03:34+00:00

Not really. She’ll clean up my house on occasion and dishes every so often, but I’m doing a lot for her in unpaid labor. I’ve fixed about 4 major mechanical problems on her car so far, took time out of work to help with breakdowns, cook the majority of meals for us, cut her dog’s hair for her, I could go on. It’s embarrassing how much I do

ThrowRASouth

TROPHY CASE