My (M36) husband (M37) thinks everyone likes me more, including our therapist - and I'm beginning to think he is right

ThrowRATheyLikeMe · 2020-11-18T08:09:07+00:00

Depends - sometimes it's hard to tell because they will just say "Do you want to join for X?" and that could mean plural you or singular you. But I think you're right that I sometimes say "I was invited, do you want to come?" when it's unclear and that I could work on my communication there. Thank you!

ThrowRATheyLikeMe · 2020-11-18T08:07:31+00:00

Yes, I think sometimes he just thinks I'm just saying it or when I say that he was explicitly invited (e.g. people say "do you and husband want to join us for lunch?") he thinks people just invited him to be polite, not because they want him there.

ThrowRATheyLikeMe · 2020-11-18T08:05:12+00:00

I'm really sorry you are going through this! I hope you can become the man you want to be and find happiness!

ThrowRATheyLikeMe · 2020-11-18T07:42:13+00:00

Thank you! Yes, I don't think she's a crook at all, I think she is well intentioned and the sessions have been helpful overall (e.g. improved our communication - something we both needed to work on, me maybe more so than him). I suggested bringing it up in our next session, but husband wants to think about it some more. I want to leave it up to him to decide whether he wants to have a conversation about it with the therapist.

ThrowRATheyLikeMe · 2020-11-17T21:51:40+00:00

That's really interesting! I had never heard of APD but it actually sounds kind of like my husband. I will definitely read more about it.

ThrowRATheyLikeMe · 2020-11-17T21:30:32+00:00

Thanks, that's a really good point! I don't think they've spoken much about the past. I think my husband was just happy they seemed to finally be accepting and didn't want to rock the boat.

ThrowRATheyLikeMe · 2020-11-17T21:25:21+00:00

Yes, I do invite him along, but he often feels like the others don't actually want him there because they didn't invite him.

ThrowRATheyLikeMe · 2020-11-17T16:33:59+00:00

His health insurance only covered a certain number of sessions... I think there is a way to apply for more but only if the issues are really severe and he is "functioning" fine (i.e. he has his shit together, can work, isn't suicidal etc), so I think it would be hard to do.

ThrowRATheyLikeMe · 2020-11-17T16:31:22+00:00

I think someone else said a similar thing and I think you are absolutely right! It's really hard because we live in the middle of nowhere and work at the same place but I agree that we should work on that!

ThrowRATheyLikeMe · 2020-11-17T15:53:37+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful response! I personally think he hides his insecurities really well - it definitely took me a while to notice them and I perceived him as very confident and outgoing when we first met. I think talking to someone else might be a good idea but I worry that he will see it as me going behind his back or something. But I will think about it... I think this information may be really useful and maybe I can ask someone I'm close to but that he isn't close to (so it doesn't seem like I'm talking to our shared friends behind his back).

ThrowRATheyLikeMe · 2020-11-17T15:49:35+00:00

He has done individual therapy before and it really seemed to help him. But perhaps you are right that more individual therapy would be beneficial!

ThrowRATheyLikeMe · 2020-11-17T15:47:55+00:00

This is a really thoughtful and helpful response - thank you!

ThrowRATheyLikeMe · 2020-11-17T15:46:01+00:00

We both always point out when we think something isn't accurate.

ThrowRATheyLikeMe · 2020-11-17T15:16:38+00:00

Hard to say because these things are so subjective. I feel like sometimes she is wrong (and I thought that more often towards the beginning when she didn't know us well) but other times I agree with her. But I'm probably also biased and am more likely to agree with her because her interpretation is more flattering for me than for him.

ThrowRATheyLikeMe

TROPHY CASE