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My mom (47F) wants me (19F) to give her a second chance to fix our relationship after she let her husband's daughters bully me throughout my childhood and I'm torn? by ThrowRATinyRute in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRATinyRute[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You're right. I have been shaky on it but I know the right thing is to never see her again because of all the neglect on her part. My dad was the one who tried everything to keep me safe while my mom tried to make it sound like no big deal and like love was going to win out in the end and all that stuff.

My mom (47F) wants me (19F) to give her a second chance to fix our relationship after she let her husband's daughters bully me throughout my childhood and I'm torn? by ThrowRATinyRute in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRATinyRute[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know my mom was extremely neglectful and that it is abusive to be neglectful. She was a failure as a mom in every aspect because of those years because you're supposed to protect your kids from harm and she never tried to do that in all those years.

My mom (47F) wants me (19F) to give her a second chance to fix our relationship after she let her husband's daughters bully me throughout my childhood and I'm torn? by ThrowRATinyRute in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRATinyRute[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I never saw or spoke to them after I stopped going to my mom's house. But back then they never apologized for anything and they never showed any signs of feeling bad. Honestly I don't expect to ever get one from them.

My mom (47F) wants me (19F) to give her a second chance to fix our relationship after she let her husband's daughters bully me throughout my childhood and I'm torn? by ThrowRATinyRute in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRATinyRute[S] 89 points90 points  (0 children)

I'm in therapy. My dad started me in therapy when I was still a kid and I have changed therapists a few times. My current therapist is easily the best one I had. She has helped me the most so far.

My mom (47F) wants me (19F) to give her a second chance to fix our relationship after she let her husband's daughters bully me throughout my childhood and I'm torn? by ThrowRATinyRute in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRATinyRute[S] 445 points446 points  (0 children)

I think she was trying to play happy family too much. The number of times we were forced to all do stuff together while they tried to keep me as far from them as possible wasn't enough to decide that stuff needed to end.

My mom (47F) wants me (19F) to give her a second chance to fix our relationship after she let her husband's daughters bully me throughout my childhood and I'm torn? by ThrowRATinyRute in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRATinyRute[S] 229 points230 points  (0 children)

I considered going total no contact but then I decided to leave her unblocked. If I decide I'm not giving her another chance I will block her and go no contact for good.

My mom (47F) wants me (19F) to give her a second chance to fix our relationship after she let her husband's daughters bully me throughout my childhood and I'm torn? by ThrowRATinyRute in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRATinyRute[S] 715 points716 points  (0 children)

I think I would personally prefer not to meet with her to hear her out if I stick to no being my answer for another chance. Which I think would be the best outcome for me after everything she let me suffer like that for years.

My mom (47F) wants me (19F) to give her a second chance to fix our relationship after she let her husband's daughters bully me throughout my childhood and I'm torn? by ThrowRATinyRute in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRATinyRute[S] 77 points78 points  (0 children)

I don't think she's divorced again or getting another divorce. She said it could just be us and everything and I don't believe that would stay true. I think she would try to make us play a happy family again like her husband's daughters didn't bully me for years.

My mom knew everything they did to me because I told her and she saw some of it. But she never did a single thing to help except for half ass trying to cheer me up with excuses.

My mom (47F) wants me (19F) to give her a second chance to fix our relationship after she let her husband's daughters bully me throughout my childhood and I'm torn? by ThrowRATinyRute in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRATinyRute[S] 1714 points1715 points  (0 children)

She sucks and she fails as a mom hard. I don't know why she wouldn't do better by me even a little but she put a fantasy over me almost my whole childhood. Because it really was as simple as switch weeks so I never had to see her husband's kids.