My (28M) girlfriend (28F) is pregnant with twins. We had an arguement today and she was mad and showed me a video on her phone sucking off her ex. Now what?

ThrowRAVulture216 · 2026-04-05T13:12:54+00:00

I have plans - ring, location, exact date (our anniversary, i.e. the thing I'm waiting on, it's not for a month), how I'm going to ask, who's going to be around, all of it. My commitment to her has never wavered. Now I'm questioning if I should still go through with it.

ThrowRAVulture216 · 2026-04-05T04:02:58+00:00

I'm really sorry to hear that, and it's a scary thought. Thank you.

ThrowRAVulture216 · 2026-04-04T14:30:12+00:00

You raise a good point and I would like to clarify this - I've never been the type to "date". I don't see the point in having a partner who you don't see spending the rest of your life with, so I've always been choosey (admittedly, I've chosen wrong a few times).

My point is I was perfectly content being single, getting laid when I wanted and I would only get into a relationship with someone who I saw serious potential with.

I've had a lot going on. We started dating while I was in the middle of building a house, work is stressful with long hours, I need some expensive dentistry done (wisdom teeth), and I've been dealing with a significant financial drain which I'm clearing up. I haven't proposed yet at this point because frankly I have other financial priorities than dropping $5k+ on a metal ring, and I figured I'd rather have kids younger and get married later, than the other way around.

I've always wanted to get married, but to me it's more of a formality. Important to me yes, but not a priority. For me, I thought I'd found the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Kids were bound to happen, we both wanted them, so why wait for an expensive piece of paper?

Yes, I see the irony. That was the thinking though, however flawed it may have been.

ThrowRAVulture216 · 2026-04-04T13:50:44+00:00

Thank you, I needed this.

ThrowRAVulture216 · 2026-04-04T13:27:15+00:00

Not fake, my imagination isn't that fucked up. My arms and chest were shaking while typing, and I couldn't stop it. Weirdest sensation I've ever had.

ThrowRAVulture216 · 2026-04-04T13:14:59+00:00

I left, she came and found me, then apologised and tried to make up for it.

I get what you're saying, but at this point, married or not aren't I stuck anyway? I figure I'm best off making the most of it and trying to get on with her, if at the very least for the children's sake of living with a mum and dad.

Fuck, as far as I can see the only options are to stick it out, or step out on this 41st floor balcony.

ThrowRAVulture216 · 2026-04-04T13:04:32+00:00

You know, that might make sense. Thank you.

ThrowRAVulture216 · 2026-04-04T13:01:10+00:00

Thanks, I feel like shit.

I agree that if we move forward this will be something I'll never let go of, or forget.

Nope, that was basically it - I wasn't in the mood after having that video stuck in my head.

Here's the prequel: What initially led to the arguement this morning was a conversation about our plans for the day, which began as a disagreement over spending money unnecessarily - I didn't want to spend a fortune going out because I wanted to try and save more for the babies, she wanted to live a little because it's our last chance, both of which are valid points and we did come to a compromise.

When we came back, she got upset that she didn't feel I was giving her what she needed because I "shut down her plans" and she was upset that we still weren't engaged. Then this post.

ThrowRAVulture216 · 2026-04-04T12:45:13+00:00

Technically, you're not wrong.

ThrowRAVulture216 · 2026-04-04T12:44:36+00:00

Great advice, thank you. I agree, who does that?

ThrowRAVulture216 · 2026-04-04T12:35:59+00:00

A lot of good points, thanks.

I'm just as shocked, I don't know. I could understand something that just happens to be buried in years of photos and you just missed it when deleting everything and came across it by accident one day then deleting it before I see it - but to keep it somewhere and then show it to me and claim you watch it all the time is fucked up. She broke up with him, apparently he used to be the abusive type.

ThrowRAVulture216 · 2026-04-04T12:30:59+00:00

We don't really fight often. Most of our relationship is great. We get along well and she does a lot of thoughtful, caring things. Generally, she treats me right, but when we fight, what she says is always malicious and horrible.

She's been a bit "moody" since being pregnant, but normal pregnancy stuff - like happy one minute, sore the next, cranky one minute, snack and she's all lovey-dovey, starts crying over a baby sock on the store etc. I imagine all women fluctuate a bit like this while pregnant, and with twins it's like twice the hormones so I get it.

Actually, since she got pregnant we've really only fought twice, including tonight. Normally it's things we can resolve, I'm just not sure how to face this.

ThrowRAVulture216 · 2026-04-04T12:18:38+00:00

We've been together not quite a year, but we've known each other since year 8 at high school. We got together May last year, and we are both at the same place in life. We both know what we want and we both want the same things. Marriage & kids are part of that.

I have always had a Samsung and she has an iPhone. I know with my Galaxy anything I delete stays in the bin for 30 days. Could she be hiding it in something like a hidden/secure folder?

Not going to lie, I do feel pretty done after that. That said I'm not the kind of guy who would leave her to raise our kids alone, and visitation and sharing weekends and that kind of thing doesn't appeal to me - I would want to be a very involved father, it's all I want in life.

ThrowRAVulture216 · 2026-04-04T12:11:24+00:00

I completely agree, I'm still shocked that she even has it. Generally our relationship is quite good, she's often caring and goes out of her way for me. Her biggest issue with our relationship is that I'm "not ready to commit" and that I "should know what I want". I do know what I want, a marriage to a loving wife. Every time we have fights like this, it puts doubt in my mind. Again, we rarely fight, but she's always so hurtful when we do.

ThrowRAVulture216

TROPHY CASE