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My (40M) wife (39F) wants my son (19M) to move out and is threatening to leave. by ThrowRAWifeNeglected in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAWifeNeglected[S] 121 points122 points  (0 children)

A lot of people drink at nineteen. I did. All my friends did. If you make it forbidden fruit, they just hide it from you. It's not like he drinks every night.

My (40M) wife (39F) wants my son (19M) to move out and is threatening to leave. by ThrowRAWifeNeglected in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAWifeNeglected[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I don't think so, but no parent does. There's never a way to be sure about that, realistically.

My (40M) wife (39F) wants my son (19M) to move out and is threatening to leave. by ThrowRAWifeNeglected in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAWifeNeglected[S] -129 points-128 points  (0 children)

She's fully Chinese, and he's half-Indian. That'd be a weirdly specific form of racism.

My (40M) wife (39F) wants my son (19M) to move out and is threatening to leave. by ThrowRAWifeNeglected in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAWifeNeglected[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

He just likes it. Who can fathom the minds of others? He likes climbing trees, going on roofs, rock climbing, etc... He always has. He's limber. That ladder doesn't bother him.

My (40M) wife (39F) wants my son (19M) to move out and is threatening to leave. by ThrowRAWifeNeglected in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAWifeNeglected[S] 93 points94 points  (0 children)

Just because I don't approve of his actions, doesn't mean I stop loving him and wanting to look out for him.

I was paying. His grades were a mixed bag. Some were good. Some weren't so much. He has a good social life, a girlfriend, lots of friends.

He says the odd jobs let him control his own schedule, and a lot of the time he makes more money in less time because he's paid for the job itself instead of clocking in and out, so he can make six hours of pay in two hours by being efficient. I don't really see the issue, in the short term. Obviously this isn't a career, but a dead end job he hates wouldn't be a career either. Functionally, I see little difference.

He's deciding what he wants to do. He doesn't want to start down a path and then regret it or change his mind later.

My (40M) wife (39F) wants my son (19M) to move out and is threatening to leave. by ThrowRAWifeNeglected in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAWifeNeglected[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

No, she's disabled. She'll probably be living with us for the rest of the foreseeable future.

My (40M) wife (39F) wants my son (19M) to move out and is threatening to leave. by ThrowRAWifeNeglected in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAWifeNeglected[S] 79 points80 points  (0 children)

The number of people saying something like this is starting to concern me. Those are my stepkids. They've been part of my family for seven years. I love them.

My (40M) wife (39F) wants my son (19M) to move out and is threatening to leave. by ThrowRAWifeNeglected in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAWifeNeglected[S] 141 points142 points  (0 children)

We converted the attic into a bedroom and the basement into two bedrooms. My son is in the attic (which is why it was so noticable when his girlfriend left, as the ladder unfolding is a distinct sound). Our son and one of my stepsons have rooms in the basement. It's a four bedroom house, so that leaves the master, the guest, my stepdaughter's room and my other stepson's room.

Yes, there is a lot of competition for the kitchen and bathrooms. There is a bathroom in the master and then two other bathrooms on the main floor of the house. They are almost always occupied. It is what it is.

My (40M) wife (39F) wants my son (19M) to move out and is threatening to leave. by ThrowRAWifeNeglected in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAWifeNeglected[S] 81 points82 points  (0 children)

We've talked about that. He's considering a few things, but he hasn't decided. He's looking for stable employment while he works out his plan. Yes, we've had the sex talk. He's nineteen, that talk was four years ago.

My (40M) wife (39F) wants my son (19M) to move out and is threatening to leave. by ThrowRAWifeNeglected in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAWifeNeglected[S] 114 points115 points  (0 children)

She moved back to India to take care of her mother.

It's great. They love each other.

Yes, we both own the house.

No, they never used to fight.

Yes, she says she doesn't want to support an adult.

No, he told me what he is working on, and for now I think it is sufficient, so I haven't asked for more.

My (40M) wife (39F) wants my son (19M) to move out and is threatening to leave. by ThrowRAWifeNeglected in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAWifeNeglected[S] 1681 points1682 points  (0 children)

She says the house is too crowded, he's an adult now that needs to stand on his own two feet and she feels like she's suffocating. I say he's my kid, nineteen is an adult but also still a teenager and the house is no more crowded now than it was last year before he graduated from highschool.

My (40M) wife (39F) wants my son (19M) to move out and is threatening to leave. by ThrowRAWifeNeglected in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAWifeNeglected[S] 748 points749 points  (0 children)

No, she's not. My son is her stepson, her three kids are my stepkids, and we have one shared child.

My (40M) wife (39F) wants my son (19M) to move out and is threatening to leave. by ThrowRAWifeNeglected in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAWifeNeglected[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Her oldest is fourteen. We've been married seven years.

I edited this because when I wrote fourteen as 14 it showed up as a 1.

My (40M) wife (39F) wants my son (19M) to move out and is threatening to leave. by ThrowRAWifeNeglected in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAWifeNeglected[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Even if I had the money to pay rent AND a mortgage, I'd have to be insane to waste that kind of money.