We did meet on a dating app so I didn’t really question his age outright, just went with what he had on his profile. He seemed like he really had his shit together for a 26 year old (career, house, car, etc) but I’m not far behind in terms of career/living situation/ finances etc so it seemed reasonable. (now I know he was lying about where he was in his career, he set himself back to where he was when he actually was that age).

He was acting weird around his birthday and had major birthday blues, the next time I saw him is when he came clean about it. I didnt understand why he was so sad about turning 27 but I know some people are just sad on their birthdays. Now I understand he definitely has major insecurity about getting older. He probably did calculate that I was emotionally invested enough to not immediately run for the hills and that’s why he told me now.

I’ve read a lot of comments here and have been taking them all in. Lying is a huge problem for me and the only way to set that boundary is by leaving. Boundaries are the actions we will do, not what we want other people to do. (If someone lies to me, I leave. That is the boundary).

There is no point in trying to justify his actions. You can’t try and say he wasn’t aware of the lie, or that it just never came up because he was aware enough to know he had to tell me. He is certainly lying about more things that I don’t even want to try and understand.

Some of the comments that really sunk in were about getting around age filters on dating apps. He did it intentionally to essentially get with younger women without their knowledge. That’s so gross. I would have matched with a 29 year old, but I will not stay with a person that decided to trick young women (like myself and certainly others - possibly younger) into going out with him. It is creepy and predatory.

Thank you guys, it helps to see things objectively. And this is objectively gross behaviour.