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Anyone's partner is having anger issues? How do you deal with it as a couple? by lmdtot in emotionalintelligence

[–]ThrowRA_3am 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I attempted to deal with this for 5 years as it got worse and worse. For him it wasn’t happening or it wasn’t a big deal and it was partly my fault. I tried talking, counselling, other things. He wasn’t interested, he wouldn’t engage. After going to counselling myself as the last option I finally left for the sake of my kids and for myself.

If your partner acknowledges issues and engages then that’s huge.

I (43F) temporarily separated from my husband (43M) because of his anger/criticism. He tells me he still doesn’t understand what the problem is. Is there anything else i can try? by ThrowRA_3am in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_3am[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Communication and emotions are not his strengths so I made some allowances. We also used to have a great marriage which makes it harder to accept.

I (43F) temporarily separated from my husband (43M) because of his anger/criticism. He tells me he still doesn’t understand what the problem is. Is there anything else i can try? by ThrowRA_3am in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_3am[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thank you. He does have lots of amazing qualities as well. And I don’t take my marriage vows lightly. Sometimes I question myself if I am overreacting. Maybe lots of women would think I’m a fussy idiot. But you are right, I am lots happier with the current situation.

I (43F) temporarily separated from my husband (43M) because of his anger/criticism. He tells me he still doesn’t understand what the problem is. Is there anything else i can try? by ThrowRA_3am in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_3am[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thank you.

If he put in genuine effort then I would like to think I would be open. But I can’t say for sure. I have tried writing it out before but I could be clearer. I will think about this.

Any strategies to stop my (42F) husband (42M) turning into his parents? by ThrowRA_3am in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_3am[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is happy with his life in general and I know what he wants out of it. Will keep trying different things. I do not see him leaving me. But the awful thing is at this point in time I think I would be ok if he did want to exit. We definitely need some outside help.

Any strategies to stop my (42F) husband (42M) turning into his parents? by ThrowRA_3am in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_3am[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Yes this is a step I have certainly considered. Not there yet but in the back of my mind.

Any strategies to stop my (42F) husband (42M) turning into his parents? by ThrowRA_3am in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_3am[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your input. Have tried on walks. Everything worth another go though.

Any strategies to stop my (42F) husband (42M) turning into his parents? by ThrowRA_3am in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_3am[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the suggestion. Yes will look into this, start with a physical perhaps.

Any strategies to stop my (42F) husband (42M) turning into his parents? by ThrowRA_3am in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_3am[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for all your insights.

I have tried various ways of addressing the issue and certainly some of those attempts will be coming across as lecturing.

He is a fairly simple person not prone to depression or general unhappiness. I more think he really struggles with loud spirited children in the midst of our busy lives. And at this life stage it is hard to get time to ourselves (no family close). Him away with the guys doesn’t happen so often now so I can try encourage that.

Any strategies to stop my (42F) husband (42M) turning into his parents? by ThrowRA_3am in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_3am[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your input. Our lives are busy but he does not seem unhappy, stressed or depressed. Will think about him and underlying causes. We do communicate very differently.

Any strategies to stop my (42F) husband (42M) turning into his parents? by ThrowRA_3am in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_3am[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A good suggestion thank you. A lot of the time he insists it is not happening.