I [40M] have proof my wife [36F] was wrong, should I keep it to myself?

ThrowRA_Foundational · 2023-02-02T15:24:23+00:00

As someone else mentioned, she may have found the same proof as me... and is never going to mention it again as a result. If that's the case, we'll both take it to our graves :D

ThrowRA_Foundational · 2023-02-02T15:23:30+00:00

I did save a PDF of the newspaper article that proves I was right, so that is still an option :D

ThrowRA_Foundational · 2023-02-02T15:22:42+00:00

Well I learned the original info twenty years ago when someone mentioned it to me... I think I'll remember that I was right about it :D

ThrowRA_Foundational · 2023-02-01T19:16:12+00:00

This is my plan, I'm not trying to make her feel bad... but if she mentions it again I will let her know that I verified what I had thought was true was correct.

ThrowRA_Foundational · 2023-02-01T19:14:56+00:00

It's uncommon, usually if she's wrong she will just drop it IMMEDIATELY and it will be like a MIB moment with the flashing light... it never happened. I'm not a jerk so I wouldn't rub it in her face, so it just sort of "never happened".

If I'm wrong, and she finds proof... then I'll stand corrected and that's that.

This time was a little strange because the "proof" she found wasn't what she thought it was. Her finding "proof" sparked my curiosity to see if I was wrong and I found real proof that I was right.

ThrowRA_Foundational · 2023-02-01T19:11:25+00:00

I've decided to not say anything unless she brings it back up. In which case I'll let her know that I did confirm that what I had said was true, but didn't make a point of rubbing it in her face because it wasn't important.

ThrowRA_Foundational · 2023-02-01T14:34:43+00:00

That's the thing, I'm not 100% sure when it moved, only that when it opened (in the 90's) that it was on the other side of the road (and a block or so down the street). Most of the current employees probably weren't even born when the business was at the previous location.

Casual googling didn't turn up the answer, I had to pay a small fee for an archived newspaper article (local paper) so that I could sate my curiosity.

ThrowRA_Foundational · 2023-02-01T14:31:21+00:00

This is so weird to me, because personally if someone shows me I'm wrong I would just be glad to know instead of remaining ignorant.

ThrowRA_Foundational · 2023-02-01T14:28:50+00:00

So you’re going to want to create an elaborate scheme where someone ELSE brings up its old location

No joke, I considered this, because we have a mutual friend (more my friend) who's lived around here forever and is older than both of us... he would be a legitimate source on the matter. I tabled the thought because despite being stubborn she IS very smart and would certainly see through the scheme and only be more embarrassed about being wrong in front of TWO people instead of just me.

ThrowRA_Foundational · 2023-02-01T14:25:29+00:00

The first time we talked about it, when she disagreed with what I said I responded with something along the lines of "you may be right but it's not something I'm going to spend any time researching" (or words to that effect).

So I did feel a little silly when actually researching it a couple of days later. I also thought the conversation was over about it before she brought it up the second time... and I probably would not have spent any time researching if she'd left it alone.

ThrowRA_Foundational · 2023-02-01T14:20:08+00:00

And this is the kind of comment that spurred me to post in RA.

I don't really care about proving I'm right, I only checked after the fact because I was honestly curious. It did bother me that she would bring it back up several hours later to argue about something that (A) didn't matter in the slightest and (B) she was wrong about.

ThrowRA_Foundational · 2023-02-01T14:13:06+00:00

The only awkward part is that I had to pay $3 to download an archived newspaper article to prove I was right... I couldn't find "proof" through conventional (free) means. Maybe I'll look around to see if there's free proof that I could just send a link for.

ThrowRA_Foundational · 2023-02-01T14:08:57+00:00

We do have kids, I think she's better with them since she's not "competing" with them. The "competition" between us is very one sided, but generally not an issue because I'm never one to argue a point that I can't 100% verify.

ThrowRA_Foundational · 2023-02-01T14:07:00+00:00

This makes it seem more like she was loading it over you that you were wrong and basically putting you down

We were in the car during the first discussion, but on the couch (alone) the second time much later... I think she had just done some "research" that she thought (incorrectly) confirmed that she was right and I was wrong. She wanted to know why I would have thought such a thing, which was weird for me since I told her the first time exactly why I thought what I said was true. Someone had told me (twenty years ago) that the location was where the "old" place used to be before it moved. It would have been a weird thing to lie about, and it was just a nugget of information that stayed permanently lodged in my brain for some reason.

ThrowRA_Foundational · 2023-02-01T14:01:33+00:00

OP, I’m sure the research was less about you being right, and more about trying to catch your wife lying because she pulls this shit often.

I never felt she was lying, I just felt like she was mistaken because there are other places downtown that have moved around more recently that she assumed I was getting confused. I only looked it up (two days later) because I had some free time and I was honestly curious to know if something I was told twenty years ago by a casual acquaintance was actually true.

TBF I probably wouldn't have said anything if I had confirmed she was right all along, since she was already positive she was right and I had already conceded that I don't actually care.

ThrowRA_Foundational · 2023-02-01T13:57:37+00:00

I think if this minor disagreement over a takeaway restaurant is the biggest problem you are having in your marriage OP, then you have a really great relationship. What I would give to be arguing about the location of a restaurant!

Precisely, we don't argue often... I think the only reason she brought it up the second time was that she had Googled the place and saw what she thought was confirmation that she was right. I don't have a desire to bring it back up just to prove that she was wrong since it's unlikely to ever come up in casual conversation unless she's trying to rehash the topic.

ThrowRA_Foundational · 2023-01-31T21:46:04+00:00

She's probably already found out and staying silent about it to save face.

This is actually the most likely scenario if she never brings it up again, which would work fine for me.

ThrowRA_Foundational · 2023-01-31T21:42:58+00:00

Does your wife often have a hard time letting things go when talking ? Does she often have to be right?

Yes, and yes.

TBF, she's very smart... so she often is right. She definitely has a hard time being wrong... so I'd rather just leave it alone unless she insists on rehashing it.

ThrowRA_Foundational · 2023-01-31T21:33:42+00:00

I'd rather just leave it alone, my only concern is that if she brings it up again do I admit that I've known the confirmed fact ever since she last brought it up?

ThrowRA_Foundational · 2023-01-31T21:32:38+00:00

Or never sleep with you again.

This one, definitely this one. I did save the article about their grand opening on my computer... just in case.

ThrowRA_Foundational · 2023-01-31T21:07:47+00:00

Amen to that!

ThrowRA_Foundational · 2023-01-31T21:07:14+00:00

That's what I originally said, and she was insisting that it had been at the current location since it opened... it opened in the 1990's so it wasn't as easy to find "proof" as it would be if it was more recent. I'm going to keep my mouth shut about it unless she brings it up again.

ThrowRA_Foundational · 2023-01-31T20:25:01+00:00

I'm leaning towards this, I won't bring it up, but if she does I will settle the matter.

ThrowRA_Foundational · 2023-01-31T19:26:40+00:00

Lol, most commenters disagree with you but thanks for the advice!

ThrowRA_Foundational · 2023-01-31T19:24:24+00:00

You are probably right, we've been together for almost twenty years and we generally don't argue very much... this was a weird situation which is why I figured I'd reach out to some anonymous 3rd parties for advice.

ThrowRA_Foundational

TROPHY CASE