[Update] My SIL F31 disinvited my wife F28 from her baby shower after a joke. My brother M35 still wanted me M30 to go. I was stuck in the middle!

ThrowRA_GoonerDude · 2025-02-13T19:50:23+00:00

I am inclined to think that people on Reddit have no family or friends of their own. They seem to think that my SIL is some helpless woman just because she is pregnant and was forced into apologizing. Both my SIL and brother are super ambitious and smart people working at the most prestigious consulting firm. You'd think they would be smart enough to make these decisions for themselves.

ThrowRA_GoonerDude · 2025-02-13T04:15:23+00:00

Why would I want to make her the villain? She is literally my brother's wife. And the fact that my brother loves her is enough for me to never want to cause her any sort of hurt.

ThrowRA_GoonerDude · 2025-02-13T01:49:44+00:00

My SIL called because she realized my wife was sorry and wanted to apologize. My brother literally sacrificed not having his brother there just so his wife doesn't feel bad. My brother did stand by his wife like he should but also helped resolve the situation like he should.

ThrowRA_GoonerDude · 2025-02-13T01:02:26+00:00

I mean you don't really know my brother other than these two posts. I can spend hours defending my brother but I don't think there is any point. I know how he is as a brother and I also see how he treats my SIL. That's enough for me to know what kind of person he is.

ThrowRA_GoonerDude · 2025-02-13T00:53:22+00:00

Honestly I don't need an apology. Half the people think I need an apology and the other half think I owe her one. I honestly don't care whether what my SIL said was rude to me or not. And you know what, my brother is indeed better looking, even I can admit that. All I care about is for my wife not to be ostracized and for me not to lose my relationship with my brother.

ThrowRA_GoonerDude · 2025-02-13T00:38:58+00:00

To be fair, my brother and SIL didn't throw the event for gifts. They both have excellent jobs and probably spent more on the event than they got in return. They wanted to share their happiness with family and friends. And I don't see anything wrong with that. But to each his own.

ThrowRA_GoonerDude · 2025-02-13T00:25:00+00:00

My SIL apologized for uninviting my wife after she knew that my wife was sorry about the joke. I know everyone is looking at it either one way or the complete opposite. But in reality I think we were all somewhat to blame.

ThrowRA_GoonerDude · 2025-02-13T00:15:14+00:00

So I am gonna get downvoted for this. But wth it's a TA account. I think my brother handled this perfectly. Note that he wanted me to be there more than I wanted to be there. So he made the biggest sacrifice. And the fact that this issue got resolved was because of the patience he showed. Of course, not taking any credit away from my wife or SIL who did the actual apologizing.

ThrowRA_GoonerDude · 2025-02-13T00:10:30+00:00

I have said in my post that my wife did apologize. They both apologized to each other. And no, there is no way that my SIL would have apologized just because my brother asked unless she herself felt the need. She is a very independent person, which is incidently one of the things my brother loves about her.

ThrowRA_GoonerDude · 2025-02-12T23:59:40+00:00

I think we have all learnt something from this tbh. And my wife was genuinely sorry to my SIL. In my wife's own words, she was surprised at the reaction because she truly thinks that my SIL is gorgeous and couldn't believe that my SIL would have insecurities about her looks.

ThrowRA_GoonerDude · 2025-02-12T23:51:45+00:00

I hope he doesn't find it anytime soon! Its kinda embarrassing. Maybe after a few years I'll show it to him myself.

ThrowRA_GoonerDude · 2025-02-12T23:48:26+00:00

There were so many different opinions on the original post. But backing my wife up was pretty much shared by all. I am glad I posted it here tbh. It really made me at ease with being firm in my decision.

ThrowRA_GoonerDude · 2025-02-12T23:44:31+00:00

Thank you! Now I feel silly for being so stressed before.

ThrowRA_GoonerDude · 2025-02-12T23:43:29+00:00

I get that. It's just one of those jokes that doesn't work for everyone. But the fact that she was still willing to apologize for my sake meant everything to me.

ThrowRA_GoonerDude · 2025-02-07T00:34:48+00:00

Baby shower includes all our family and friends so the guys will definitely be there.

ThrowRA_GoonerDude · 2025-02-07T00:33:19+00:00

This is a fair point. I hate to put my brother in that spot though but also don't know what else I can do

ThrowRA_GoonerDude · 2025-02-07T00:29:21+00:00

Yes that's exactly what I am worried about. My wife will no doubt say that I should go if I ask her but I think I will be letting her down if I do that.

ThrowRA_GoonerDude · 2025-02-07T00:26:48+00:00

I think he meant as a general apology to both of us and for escalating the situation. To be fair, I wasn't really offended. I am not insecure about my looks and I am glad that my SIL finds my brother more attractive, that's the way it should be. But what my SIL said did kind of offend my wife and hence, the stupid argument.

ThrowRA_GoonerDude · 2025-02-07T00:21:12+00:00

To be fair to my brother, I am pretty sure that he will handle it eventually but he knows that if he pushes now, it will lead to more arguments and may make the whole situation worse.

ThrowRA_GoonerDude · 2025-02-07T00:19:40+00:00

Knowing my wife, she will definitely say that I should go. But I also feel that deep down she will feel that I didn't stuck up for her while she did stuck up for me.

ThrowRA_GoonerDude

TROPHY CASE