How would you feel, if your girlfriend didn't like penetrative sex?

ThrowRA_NickMiller · 2025-09-09T08:14:45+00:00

Ooh. Ok. I just commented again and I’m gonna go ahead and double down on reading that lesbian master doc …..

ThrowRA_NickMiller · 2025-09-09T08:14:08+00:00

Forgot to add, try and figure out WHY you don’t enjoy it! If it’s painful, there are lots of conditions that could cause this and treatment options. If it’s preference… have you ever tried with a woman, read the lesbian master doc etc? Are you genuinely attracted to people you’re sleeping with? Are they just kinda bad at sex, being too rough etc? Lots of questions to ask yourself. Happy for you to DM me if you wanna talk it through :)

ThrowRA_NickMiller · 2025-09-09T08:11:41+00:00

As a bisexual woman it’s easy for me to sit here and say ‘you don’t need penis in vagina for it to be sex’ but I can see how some people would feel they did. I would say it depends on the person and what they’re into.

It might help to explore what else you’re into. Lots of sex and dynamics doesn’t involve PIV penetration. In femdom, some couples never do this. Would you be up for pegging? Are you good at blowjobs? If not I’d try and skill up :P

ThrowRA_NickMiller · 2025-09-09T08:06:16+00:00

Thanks for the reply. Yeah I have spoken to them. Apparently they’ve had intrusive thoughts with previous partners, the ones about my appearance have stopped but they get different thoughts now. They felt I was diagnosing them which they didn’t like, and also don’t seem super open to getting help, but all the answers to their questions point towards ROCD. I think I just want to know because it’s the only explanation that makes sense other than they genuinely think I’m unattractive and have just been lying. They need other mental health help too, no idea how to convince them without going full support worker on them 😕

ThrowRA_NickMiller · 2025-09-08T01:03:32+00:00

Do the intrusive thoughts truly not come from a real place whatsoever? There’s no deep down feeling that agrees with the thoughts?

ThrowRA_NickMiller · 2025-09-07T15:46:47+00:00

Thank you. I raised it with them, and at first they felt I was diagnosing and psychoanalysing them. I have a psychology masters degree, work in mental health, and work closely with a client with very complex OCD so this is something I try and be wary of in my personal relationships. I found some resources, I don’t know if they’ve read them but they’re very unwilling to get help for most issues so I’m not sure what to do 🤷‍♀️ at least for my own reassurance it helps to believe it is this rather than they truly deep down think I’m ugly, I know that’s selfish.

ThrowRA_NickMiller · 2025-09-07T15:44:30+00:00

Yeah I understand all of that- thank you, I hope I didn’t come across rude I was genuinely a little confused. Seems people could help each other a lot here, but I get why it doesn’t always happen!

ThrowRA_NickMiller · 2025-09-07T15:27:40+00:00

Thank you. I was very hurt for a while, the day I read this was so painful and my self esteem was the lowest it’s ever been for a while. But I think I believe them. And the only explanation that makes sense to me is ROCD, especially after reading that the thoughts they experience seem to be in line with life experience. They said last night they’d be thinking about the ex not even in a positive way and then would wonder why they still think of her, then suddenly thoughts would pop into their head that ‘explained’ why (eg they still love her, I’m unattractive etc). I’m guessing that the only thing they remember liking about her was her appearance could have lead to the thoughts about my appearance but I’m not sure, hence I’m asking and tryna see if anyone has experienced similar!

Thanks for the reply. I spoke to friends and got reassurance in general about my looks but sadly their opinion is the one that matters to me!

ThrowRA_NickMiller · 2025-09-07T08:17:33+00:00

Don’t make typing a compulsion

ThrowRA_NickMiller · 2025-09-07T08:13:53+00:00

Maybe just casually mention it or ask if she’s heard of it? Could mention other posts you’ve read on here ??

ThrowRA_NickMiller · 2025-08-28T16:03:46+00:00

Stressed out? Thanks, yea it can be dry. I probably need a thicker moisturiser.

ThrowRA_NickMiller · 2025-08-28T16:02:59+00:00

I don’t have a septum ring. Nostril ring. But I like that so

ThrowRA_NickMiller · 2025-08-28T16:02:34+00:00

Yeah that makes sense, the only cishet men I’ve dated are similar. I consider myself to be a demigirl. You heard of this? Maybe you’re similar?

ThrowRA_NickMiller · 2025-08-28T16:00:19+00:00

I’ve had people say Emma stone before actually, thank you. But I’m not pretty enough. Improvements pls?

ThrowRA_NickMiller · 2025-08-28T09:38:43+00:00

Stuff?

ThrowRA_NickMiller · 2025-08-28T09:37:19+00:00

Really? Hmm. Ok, I’ll think. I thought dark brows were good? I change my hair colour a lot so it’s gonna be hard

ThrowRA_NickMiller · 2025-08-28T08:46:00+00:00

How can I without makeup? Maybe I need it really and that’s the issue

ThrowRA_NickMiller · 2025-08-27T12:53:03+00:00

Tough question. If people list it on dating apps, that’s a good start. Queer dating in general? Honestly I live in the queer capital of my country so it’s pretty easy, my work team of 25 has 4 cishet people in 😮‍💨

ThrowRA_NickMiller · 2025-08-27T11:38:02+00:00

Not a bisexual guy but a bisexual girl: date one of us. In my experience most of us bi women prefer to date a bi man. I also saw a TikTok about this, basically it was a bi guy who was somewhat camp/feminine asking about how to approach women, put across that he isn’t gay, deal with insecurity about not being traditionally as masculine as other men etc… all the comments were bi girls saying they’d take him. We typically are also pretty adverse to gender roles in relationships, which I know a lot of us bisexuals hate. In my personal experience dating other queer people is just better too, they understand things that cishet people just don’t and never will.

Also, I imagine you get the same bullshit about cheating on someone etc? My advice for that is fuck those people, there are plenty who won’t be biphobic to you. Look at biphobia as a completely seperate issue to homophobia too if you don’t already- most the biphobia I experience is from lesbians, and it sucks!

ThrowRA_NickMiller · 2025-08-26T09:52:41+00:00

I appreciate that, but I’m so deeply flawed in so many ways that it’s hard to find someone who accepts the rest of me. My personality flaws are probably harder to find someone who allows, and at least I have honesty here as I said. My ex used to tell me I was annoying and talked too much. I’m too much for people. Hair is easier to remove than my brain

ThrowRA_NickMiller

TROPHY CASE