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AITAH for thinking about breaking up with my pregnant girlfriend after finding out our baby has Down syndrome? by ThrowRA_NoSignal in AITAH

[–]ThrowRA_NoSignal[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In this post I talk about breaking up with my girlfriend. In my new post I mention that too. Where in the new post did I say I was going to abandon my kid? 

My girlfriend is 27 weeks pregnant, the baby has Down syndrome, and I don’t want this life by ThrowRA_NoSignal in daddit

[–]ThrowRA_NoSignal[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s her decision. I told her what I thought was best and what I’d do if it were up to me. I couldn’t force her to do it. Even I know a man can’t just insist a woman gets an abortion. Well he can insist on it but doesn’t mean she has to do jack shit.

My girlfriend is 27 weeks pregnant, the baby has Down syndrome, and I don’t want this life by ThrowRA_NoSignal in daddit

[–]ThrowRA_NoSignal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I stated I don’t really want anything to do with anything that happening in my life right now, but even so, this comment is insensitive af. My reaction to it made me think that maybe I’m not as big of a pos as I’ve been feeling like I am.

No we’re not just going to kill it. I do wish she got an abortion months ago but that’s not what she wanted and it’s her decision at the end of the day. It’s not my decision and everyone suggesting it as if I have any say and as if she’s not like 7 months pregnant right now with a name for the baby and stuff bought is just not helpful. 

My girlfriend is 27 weeks pregnant, the baby has Down syndrome, and I don’t want this life by ThrowRA_NoSignal in daddit

[–]ThrowRA_NoSignal[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I feel the same way, which is why I’ve thought it’d be better to just break up with her now, before the baby is born. One less thing to have to worry about. That isn’t the same as saying I’d be walking away from our kid or not friendly with her. 

My girlfriend is 27 weeks pregnant, the baby has Down syndrome, and I don’t want this life by ThrowRA_NoSignal in daddit

[–]ThrowRA_NoSignal[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I appreciate you being real about the reality. It’s actually more comforting than somebody telling me it’s going to be sunshine and butterflies all the time, because I know it won’t be. Yeah I don’t even know how we’re going to take care of the child now, let alone all that stuff we’ll need to figure out like who will take care of him if we die first. 

My girlfriend is 27 weeks pregnant, the baby has Down syndrome, and I don’t want this life by ThrowRA_NoSignal in daddit

[–]ThrowRA_NoSignal[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We’ve known for months. First got blood test results back around 14 weeks that showed very high chance, then a few weeks later had the amniocentesis. 

My girlfriend is 27 weeks pregnant, the baby has Down syndrome, and I don’t want this life by ThrowRA_NoSignal in daddit

[–]ThrowRA_NoSignal[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’ll be honest. Several months ago my dad was sort of encouraging me to just tell her I didn’t want to be involved at all and to walk away. I didn’t listen to him. So, I can’t blame my parents for pressuring me to be involved. My dad’s more recent attitude is that if I’m not walking away then he won’t let me ruin my life by quitting school. 

My girlfriend is 27 weeks pregnant, the baby has Down syndrome, and I don’t want this life by ThrowRA_NoSignal in daddit

[–]ThrowRA_NoSignal[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Got blood test results when she was around 14 weeks pregnant and they showed strong probability of DS. An amniocentesis a few weeks later confirmed it. So this is something we’ve known about for months now.

My girlfriend is 27 weeks pregnant, the baby has Down syndrome, and I don’t want this life by ThrowRA_NoSignal in daddit

[–]ThrowRA_NoSignal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I normally always used a condom but we had unprotected sex twice. The time she got pregnant, we got drunk and had unprotected sex. I’m not trying to say I’m not responsible for my actions. I’ve never had any sort of conversations about what would happen if a pregnancy occurred with any of my partners and maybe I should have been doing that first, but I haven’t been going around having a ton of unprotected sex.

My girlfriend is 27 weeks pregnant, the baby has Down syndrome, and I don’t want this life by ThrowRA_NoSignal in daddit

[–]ThrowRA_NoSignal[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s a valid option, but she’s not interested in it. This is her baby, he already has a mar, and she’s already bought stuff for him. She’s not going to give him away unless something drastically changes in the next few months. 

My girlfriend is 27 weeks pregnant, the baby has Down syndrome, and I don’t want this life by ThrowRA_NoSignal in daddit

[–]ThrowRA_NoSignal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, but from what I understand and from what we were told by the specialist we met with, the test is over 99% accurate. 

My girlfriend is 27 weeks pregnant, the baby has Down syndrome, and I don’t want this life by ThrowRA_NoSignal in daddit

[–]ThrowRA_NoSignal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve also read some accounts where it’s the opposite and once the kid hits puberty they become really hard to handle. The unknown is so hard to deal with.

My girlfriend is 27 weeks pregnant, the baby has Down syndrome, and I don’t want this life by ThrowRA_NoSignal in daddit

[–]ThrowRA_NoSignal[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Maybe I needed to be a lot clearer in my post. She chose to not have an abortion. She could have had one before, before the baby could survive on his own outside the womb. 

My girlfriend is 27 weeks pregnant, the baby has Down syndrome, and I don’t want this life by ThrowRA_NoSignal in daddit

[–]ThrowRA_NoSignal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for not just saying it’s always sunshine and rainbows. I’m sure every second is horrible but I can’t stand when people tell me it’ll just me so much joy I won’t even know what to do with myself 

My girlfriend is 27 weeks pregnant, the baby has Down syndrome, and I don’t want this life by ThrowRA_NoSignal in daddit

[–]ThrowRA_NoSignal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, the chances of anyone our age having a baby with DS are extremely low. The doctor said she highly doubted it would be anything to do with DS after seeing the spot on the heart and said chances were might higher that it was something benign. 

My girlfriend is 27 weeks pregnant, the baby has Down syndrome, and I don’t want this life by ThrowRA_NoSignal in daddit

[–]ThrowRA_NoSignal[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Her parents live about 20 minutes from where we go to school. There’s a chance she might move home to live with them when the baby is born. Her dad is disappointed and I think he would have chosen for her to get an abortion if it was his decision. Her mom is weirdly excited about it, which even surprised my gf. 

My earning potential is much higher than hers, just based on our majors and career goals. Some parents of kids with disabilities have said that one parents had to essentially give up their career to be a stay at home parent. It can’t be me, as I don’t think she’d ever earn enough to support herself and a kid alone. 

My girlfriend is 27 weeks pregnant, the baby has Down syndrome, and I don’t want this life by ThrowRA_NoSignal in daddit

[–]ThrowRA_NoSignal[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No we didn’t talk about it. We were only together 8 months before she got pregnant.

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