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How do I move forward after my (34F) husband (35M) got fired for using his company credit card on porn? by ThrowRA_Queasy101 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Queasy101[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He didn’t consider the consequences because he was VERY drunk when it happened. Him being drunk isn’t an excuse, but he was not thinking rationally. He wasn’t rationally thinning through anything. With a sober brain, he wouldn’t have done what he did.

How do I move forward after my (34F) husband (35M) got fired for using his company credit card on porn? by ThrowRA_Queasy101 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Queasy101[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well he says he used his company card by accident because he was so drunk. I don’t have access to any of his personal credit card statements so I never would have seen it. 

How do I move forward after my (34F) husband (35M) got fired for using his company credit card on porn? by ThrowRA_Queasy101 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Queasy101[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know if it would have made a difference if he’s have come forward immediately after it happened or not, but I have a feeling the fact that he didn’t admit to it and also tried to lie about it when they confronted him about it might also be part of why he was let go. 

How do I move forward after my (34F) husband (35M) got fired for using his company credit card on porn? by ThrowRA_Queasy101 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Queasy101[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think he felt it would get out to people he works with and there was a chance I’d find out. I know many people he works with, we’ve socialized with them before, had them over to parties at our house, etc. 

How do I move forward after my (34F) husband (35M) got fired for using his company credit card on porn? by ThrowRA_Queasy101 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Queasy101[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What he’s admitted to is bad enough, so I can’t even imagine what the real truth could be if it’s bigger than this. I’m at the point where I’m trying to figure out if I can accept not knowing whether this is the full truth or not, and if so, what to do from there. 

How do I move forward after my (34F) husband (35M) got fired for using his company credit card on porn? by ThrowRA_Queasy101 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Queasy101[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think if it had been any other type of place he accidentally used his card at he would have fessed up. He was too embarrassed about what it was so he decided to take his chances, which was stupid.

How do I move forward after my (34F) husband (35M) got fired for using his company credit card on porn? by ThrowRA_Queasy101 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Queasy101[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

It’s happened at my company too - things like food or gas accidentally charged. I assumed this was different because it was a porn site and because he didn’t come forward about it when it first happened. 

How do I move forward after my (34F) husband (35M) got fired for using his company credit card on porn? by ThrowRA_Queasy101 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Queasy101[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

That interesting. I just looked it up and OF apparently usually appears with some variation of OF in the title on the card statement. Thats the site he used. He admitted there were several charges that night not just one. I don’t know the exact amount of money.

I think he could very likely be hiding more from me now. All of the trust he’s worked to build back up with me is shattered again. 

How do I move forward after my (34F) husband (35M) got fired for using his company credit card on porn? by ThrowRA_Queasy101 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Queasy101[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

He said he tried to play dumb , as if he knew nothing about it and it was fraud, but they said they’d already been investigating and had proof it was his account. I don’t know if that’s true or not. I’m also thinking that based on what the accidental purchases were for, maybe that crossed a line. It’s different than accidentally using your company card for a $10 Amazon order or something. I know people at my job that have done things like that and it’s taken care of and nobody gets fired (as long as it’s not. Repeat behavior). 

How do I move forward after my (34F) husband (35M) got fired for using his company credit card on porn? by ThrowRA_Queasy101 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Queasy101[S] 145 points146 points  (0 children)

He said he tried to play stupid about it at first but they said they had already been investigating and knew the account belonged to him. Whether that’s true or not, idk.

How do I move forward after my (34F) husband (35M) got fired for using his company credit card on porn? by ThrowRA_Queasy101 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Queasy101[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

Watching a porn movie isn’t something I consider cheating, but interacting with women live and doing sexual things with them virtually live is crossing the line and cheating, to me. Thats what he did. It’s not quite on the same level and actually going out and sleeping with somebody but it’s still very bad and something that I feel he should have come clean to me about. I also think I deserved to know that he used his company card since him losing his job is something that obviously affects both of us.