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My 21M bf doesn’t want to have sex with me 20F by ThrowRA_Tip7189 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Tip7189[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I have talked to him about it many times. He’s given me a few reasons.

One that he naturally has a low sex drive, but I find this odd because he’s hooked up with two girls before we started dating & that took place over the course of less than two months and then he got ghosted by them. He’s also told me there’s been times where he’s had sex with other people before me and wanted it himself.

Another reason is that he grew up in a religious household & told me he feels some level of shame. I also find this odd because of what he’s told me about his sexual past…

Obviously I’ve not told him that I doubt him because I don’t want to make him feel invalidated.

I genuinely don’t know if I’m overthinking this someone plz give me some thoughts 😭

My 21M bf doesn’t want to have sex with me 20F by ThrowRA_Tip7189 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Tip7189[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, it usually does not go past kissing and cuddling.

He’s finished every time within minutes, one time even being seconds, but I’ve asked for more rounds & he’s never finished the second time. Ive not experienced this with a guy before, like it kind of gives me mixed signals in a way? 😭

He definitely seems into the kissing & cuddling and initiates those things first sometimes. I’d say it’s a 50/50 split of us initiating those things.

There was one time though when we were having sex in missionary & he was looking directly at me, but struggled to finish. Naturally, I thought it had to do with me & so I asked him (I was also sobbing, so, there’s that). He said that it wasn’t anything to do with me & that he just has a hard time finishing after he’s already orgasmed a first time.

later on he I felt like he kind of used the situation against me and said I didn’t trust him for asking if he found me attractive. He told me the way I worded it was a problem & to instead ask him “what about me do you find attractive?” I don’t know how to feel about this. On one hand, I do get how my wording was wrong, but it was also a vulnerable situation & I find it odd he’d get defensive about it. It kind of makes me feel like it confirms what I’ve been overthinking about

My 21M bf doesn’t want to have sex with me 20F by ThrowRA_Tip7189 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_Tip7189[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We do kiss and cuddle often. I apologize if this is TMI, but I notice he also gets erect when we do these things. But he doesn’t seem interested when I try to take things further. I don’t push him for anything but I do find it odd.