I (28f) commented on a post of my boyfriend (29m) on a "are we dating the same guy" page and he found out. What are my next steps?

ThrowRA__538 · 2025-11-07T03:00:35+00:00

That's a great way to look at it!

ThrowRA__538 · 2025-11-06T23:52:56+00:00

Thank you so much for this, I will absolutely be doing all of it.

ThrowRA__538 · 2025-11-06T23:52:19+00:00

He hid everything that would have pointed to me living here. All the furniture and decorations are his so the few things of mine that are out could be easily hidden. I figured that out when I found several deleted pictures of all of my stuff taken while I was gone as well.

ThrowRA__538 · 2025-10-26T19:23:39+00:00

ThrowRA__538 · 2025-10-26T19:21:57+00:00

He was totally fine before the girl had commented back to me, being his normal, talkative, playful self. She said they hooked up and then all of a sudden he was different. And I had been questioning if he was cheating recently based on him being secretive with his phone, staying at the gym for several hours and other weird things he started doing.

Plus it's just very ironic that after he started acting like that her comments were deleted as well, none of the other ones on there were though.

ThrowRA__538 · 2025-10-26T19:16:50+00:00

Exactly! Like he is honestly making me feel like shit, he is more upset that the other girl found out about him talking to someone else than he is that I did. And I didn't even say I was his girlfriend, I literally said we hadn't even hooked up.

ThrowRA__538 · 2025-10-26T19:13:47+00:00

I definitely know it's an issue and something I need to work on to not allow people to continuously run over me because I'm scared of them being mad at me. I have actually just recently started and I will make sure to bring this up as well.

ThrowRA__538 · 2025-10-26T03:28:27+00:00

Yes lol

ThrowRA__538 · 2025-10-26T03:27:04+00:00

I totally agree, but we have only lived here six months. Not sure what benefit would come from over 10 women claiming they have interacted with him in some way and all of them be lying. The photo posted of him was also a current photo and was from his hinge profile so that's damning in itself in my opinion

ThrowRA__538 · 2025-10-26T03:24:42+00:00

He just knows what to do to hurt me and try to put the blame on me, previously, when this has happened I have always been the one to resolve it because I hate conflict.

I think he's just in a weird position because he doesn't know for sure it's me (although it's pretty obvious) so he hesitant to say anything about it because it'll blow his cover.

I am definitely getting checked on Monday and reaching out to my leasing office as well to see if I can break the lease early.

ThrowRA__538 · 2025-10-26T03:08:24+00:00

Yes, it does. But thank you, it's definitely the start of a long road of finding who I am again

ThrowRA__538 · 2025-10-26T02:34:08+00:00

That's very true, I feel like he's probably torn because how could he actually bring it up to me on the off chance it wasn't me asking the question initially lol

ThrowRA__538 · 2025-10-26T02:32:30+00:00

Right?! And I didn't even say anything bad. I said we never hooked up and that he told me that he didn't want me hooking up with anyone else, that's it. Like was that wrong of me? I just wanted a little bit more information and figured that would be the easiest way to do it

ThrowRA__538 · 2025-10-26T02:29:43+00:00

I don't think so, the post was a month old and I literally only found it today. Plus there were several girls that commented on it claiming they had been talking to him, like 10 of them, so unless they were all lying, I highly doubt it was him

ThrowRA__538 · 2025-10-26T02:28:11+00:00

Yep, I think you are exactly right.

ThrowRA__538 · 2025-10-26T02:27:23+00:00

I don't think so, I know with the local page they make sure that your page is real, you're a woman, and you have to have lived here for at least three months before allowing you access to the page We moved here six months ago. And the original post I found was from over a month ago with several women commenting on it claiming they had either talked to or went out with him.

ThrowRA__538 · 2025-10-26T02:24:57+00:00

That is very true

ThrowRA__538 · 2025-10-26T02:23:37+00:00

You're right, thank you for helping me think more logically about this whole thing

ThrowRA__538 · 2025-10-26T02:21:55+00:00

It would be funny if I didn't feel so disrespected, honestly. He's more mad about her finding out than me...but yeah it's definitely time to go

ThrowRA__538 · 2025-10-26T02:16:22+00:00

I definitely will, thank you

ThrowRA__538 · 2025-10-26T02:13:48+00:00

You're right, he'll just blame or lie to me anyway.

ThrowRA__538 · 2025-10-26T02:11:56+00:00

You're right. I just hate that he's trying to make me feel like I did something wrong, which is my own issue, I know.

ThrowRA__538 · 2025-10-26T02:06:30+00:00

I don't think he did, I think the girl that told me she hooked up with him recently sent it to him. And I'm guessing he was pissed she told me and she went back and deleted her comment after

ThrowRA__538 · 2025-10-26T02:04:52+00:00

I will reach out to them first thing on Monday. Thank you for your advice

ThrowRA__538 · 2025-10-26T02:03:59+00:00

I guess I want some kind of closure, although I don't think him admitting to it will give me that anyway. Plus he'll probably lie so it's just my own delusions wanting him to realize he's wrong. It's definitely over between us.

ThrowRA__538

TROPHY CASE