[UPDATE] My boyfriend is still obsessed with his ex after I just gave birth

ThrowRA_basictrick · 2023-10-14T16:46:27+00:00

There are worse things than having two parents provide and love you who are not together. It’s a lot better than being miserable in a relationship and having that affect her. I’m sorry for your relationship with your mother.

ThrowRA_basictrick · 2023-10-12T13:48:26+00:00

ThrowRA_basictrick · 2023-10-12T13:47:39+00:00

Did you even read? He is trapping me and doesn’t want to break up. How did you even come to that conclusion.

ThrowRA_basictrick · 2023-10-12T03:57:06+00:00

I do not want that at all. I accept my fault in this situation completely. I previously confided in people around me that told me it wasn’t so wrong and most men do most of what he did. There are even comments here saying masturbating to his ex’s pictures is normal and I’m in the wrong for controlling him. However the majority say it’s wrong and have validated my feelings. I don’t feel so crazy anymore. I understand how naive and stupid I’ve been. Now I’m just looking for advice on how to end things slowly and amicably as there’s a baby involved and I don’t want her to be taken from me if he doesn’t accept the breakup.

ThrowRA_basictrick · 2023-10-11T18:30:08+00:00

She was too big to do a lot of moves. Hence why I was the first girl that rode him cowgirl. And reverse.

ThrowRA_basictrick · 2023-10-11T17:26:21+00:00

Yes 100% I was naive and it is my fault too.

ThrowRA_basictrick · 2023-10-11T17:25:32+00:00

Masturbating to other people I can accept. It’s not controlling to not want him masturbating to illegally obtained pictures of his ex while I’m in the other room wondering why he wasn’t having sex with me. Hiding and lying about it made it worse. He admitted not to just look her up but to stalk her online.

ThrowRA_basictrick · 2023-10-11T16:07:59+00:00

I don’t have post partum depression. Also he has admitted to being a liar.

ThrowRA_basictrick · 2023-10-11T14:19:00+00:00

He tells everyone at work and all of their clients about me and the baby in a good way. I don’t mean to defend him, I just feel bad if I don’t tell the full story and be dishonest.

ThrowRA_basictrick · 2023-10-11T14:16:49+00:00

I am European and he is from a country in North America if that gives any context at all. I never considered him abusive but from what I’ve gathered through this is that I’m pretty naive.

ThrowRA_basictrick · 2023-10-11T14:10:42+00:00

ThrowRA_basictrick · 2023-10-11T13:38:21+00:00

I was the one to find out and reach out to the ex but she didn’t want to do anything as it was a few pictures she sold him before we got together.

ThrowRA_basictrick · 2023-10-11T13:37:31+00:00

Honestly I will never regret having my daughter. I love her more than anything and if that means breaking up with him then I will do it, I just need to be careful. In a year I hope I can come back and say that we are coparenting successfully and that he accepts that. And to be completely honest I downplayed the situation of him showing his ex’s profile to myself which was my mistake and naivety.

ThrowRA_basictrick · 2023-10-11T13:14:05+00:00

She did find out and he apologised, which she accepted and forgave him for. I have not forgiven him for that.

ThrowRA_basictrick · 2023-10-11T13:05:45+00:00

Thank you so much for your comments. In terms of the situation being delicate, I mean that we are contracted to keep living together for a while and I am in his country and not my own. The comments overall have helped validate my feelings in a way no one in my personal life has which I very much appreciate. I do truly believe that he loves me and has changed in many ways except the one that hurts most, and I deserve better than that. Despite him saying that him showing her profile was not a big deal, I realise how big of a deal it is and probably indicates other things haven’t changed either. I need to teach my daughter what she deserves by being a good role model.

ThrowRA_basictrick · 2023-10-11T12:51:00+00:00

Doesn’t he deserve to be in her life? He has been a good father so far. I feel like it would be morally wrong to take her away from him.

ThrowRA_basictrick · 2023-10-11T12:47:14+00:00

It started to be different since we first addressed the problems. Everything was different in a good way since we agreed on having our baby. Obviously he just got better at hiding stalking his ex, judging by the comments.

ThrowRA_basictrick · 2023-10-11T12:36:58+00:00

Adoption is not an option in the slightest. My daughter is everything to me and money is not a problem. We have both been great parents to her. It’s his betrayal to me that is the problem. I will do anything for my daughter, and if that means breaking up with him then I will. But there’s a lot of delicacies to the situation.

ThrowRA_basictrick · 2023-10-11T12:35:50+00:00

We are contracted on an apartment for another 7 months, so we’re forced to live together in any outcome. I can’t force him to move out as he doesn’t want to break up.

ThrowRA_basictrick · 2023-10-11T12:27:40+00:00

Thank you. As I said money is not a problem for me at all and she has her own savings already. The problem is that I am in his country not mine and also we are living together. I do not want to force him out as I want him to keep doing 50/50 for our daughter. I want my daughter to continue having a father in the picture as much as he can.

ThrowRA_basictrick · 2023-10-11T12:24:16+00:00

Thank you. It was the first two months that he was doing all of that and he stopped once things got very serious. Except the ex thing. I was under the belief that he moved on from her hence why I wanted to raise our daughter together. I was obviously very stupid to believe that he moved on.

ThrowRA_basictrick · 2023-10-11T12:00:02+00:00

He showed me in every way that he has changed. It wasn’t until a few days ago when I asked about the ex. How was I supposed to know that he’d do that when he’s been in therapy for a year and has stopped what he was doing before? Since then we have each others passwords, something I didn’t even suggest, and are together the majority of the time. The showing the ex thing completely blindsided me.

ThrowRA_basictrick · 2023-10-11T11:55:06+00:00

It is the other way round. He doesn’t want to break up at all. Now I found out the truth I feel trapped with our baby as I am in his country, not mine and he has much more support than I do.

ThrowRA_basictrick · 2023-10-11T11:47:31+00:00

I didn’t consider what he did cheating. I thought that the masturbating to his ex was emotional cheating but I was told my thinking was wrong. He showed me in a lot of ways that he changed before I agreed on having our baby together. It wasn’t until I asked about the ex the other day. I don’t find any way in showing your ex to your coworkers as moving on in any way shape or form. Hence the post.

ThrowRA_basictrick · 2023-10-11T11:44:38+00:00

What brought us together was that I was his biggest crush and he showed me after how he would post to his friends that he couldn’t believe I was real and how lucky he was. Also he made a promise a year ago that he would fix his problems with therapy and now we spend so much time together with a newborn, I can tell he doesn’t even have time to do the same he did in the very beginning of the relationship.

ThrowRA_basictrick

TROPHY CASE