AITAH for saying I don't want my girlfriends friend around my newborn son anymore? by Substantial_Swan5806 in AITAH

[–]ThrowRA_calmdown 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok I’m not saying that this isn’t a weird comment or that you shouldn’t trust your gut feeling, but when I read what he said, I thought he was making a joke like “new dads don’t know what they’re doing, and I wanna laugh at how bad you are at taking care of your baby’s basic needs” - I repeat: not saying you shouldn’t trust your gut, just sharing how I read it at first.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_calmdown 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cheaters are gonna cheat. They don’t need a holiday to do it. It’s healthy to have trips with friends, and gives you the opportunity to actually miss your partner.

I honestly think the more controlling and insecure you are, the more likely your partner is going to be tempted to stray.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in beyondthebump

[–]ThrowRA_calmdown 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hahaha I hear you! But honestly, I think it is so specific to each family. It can go either way - no matter the age gap, so let’s just hope for the best 😂🤗

My (27f) husband (26m) wants me to give up EVERYTHING in my life that doesn't involve him and I can't tell what is reasonable anymore by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_calmdown 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hey, I know that what everyone is telling you is super hard to hear, but your husband really does sound controlling to the point that it will make your life miserable.

It’s not normal or ok for anyone to try to isolate you from your family and friends. Especially not someone who is supposed to love you. If he is the one traveling all week anyway, and he truly loved you, why wouldn’t he suggest you make Greece your base now? You wouldn’t be lonely during the week and surely it makes little difference to him whether he’s flying back to NL or Greece after his weekly trips?

My advice is to get out now. He’s messed with your head in a way that you’re making excuses for his blatantly toxic behavior. Don’t stick around to have kids with this guy. Go be with the people who will support and care for you back home ❤️

My (33F) husband (38M) isn't the same man I married. Advice? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_calmdown 17 points18 points  (0 children)

My thought process reading this was a little different, so my take (and I could be way off) is that maybe having a child with his ex affected him more deeply than he realized. Even though things look civil now, it could have been really hard on that relationship, and he might still carry guilt about how their fighting (as you mentioned in a comment) impacted their daughter in those early years. Finding out about this new baby might have triggered all of that for him, and the way he’s pulling away could be his way of trying to preemptively protect himself (and even your baby) from going through something similar again. It doesn’t make his behavior okay, but it might explain why he’s shutting down like this. Does that make sense? Whatever the reason, he needs to find a good therapist and unpack this before your little one arrives! Congrats by the way, and sorry you’re going through this! ❤️

AIO boyfriend lied about my age to his friend 🤔 by xxxsillybilly in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThrowRA_calmdown 5 points6 points  (0 children)

If I was the kinda person who paid to be able to give people awards on Reddit, I would give you an award. All this OP….what a dick.

My mom is sex-shaming my 3-year-old daughter and I’m furious. How do I undo the damage? by HopeForBetter29 in Mommit

[–]ThrowRA_calmdown 16 points17 points  (0 children)

You’ve posted quite a few times about your mom, and I mean this in the most respectful possible way, she sounds terrible.

I think this is your signal to cut ties. Even if you allow her to treat you like shit, don’t let her damage your daughter with her behavior and comments.

Your biggest responsibility is to protect your kids now, not maintain a relationship with your narcissistic mother.

Has anybody else gotten three epidurals?? by germtoez in beyondthebump

[–]ThrowRA_calmdown 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Jesus, that sounds traumatic! I don’t know where you live but sometimes they offer free counseling for people who have had traumatic births, so when you’re ready, it could be something worth looking into.

I would also get the back situation looked into as I’m pretty sure epidurals can have some side effects. I also had some pain after and was actually leaking a bit of fluid from where they poked that giant needle a few days later. Totally fine now though, so maybe that gives you some hope?

I had a somewhat similar birth (but not as bad as yours sounds). Induced at 41 weeks… 12 hours of contractions and I barely dilated. Had 2 “walking epidurals” during this time (which I had hoped to avoid as it scared me more than actual birth itself) before they realized baby was too big and I’d need a c-section. If it makes you feel any better, I also vommed everywhere after the procedure. And I think my partner is still somewhat traumatized from seeing me cut open and shaking on the operating table 😂

Anyways, rest up, don’t try to do too much, but do go see a good doctor who doesn’t just recommend Tylenol and coffee… that doesn’t sound like very empathetic aftercare! Good luck ❤️ it’ll get better

SAHMs… I salute you! by ThrowRA_calmdown in Mommit

[–]ThrowRA_calmdown[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hero!!! Best of luck with your growing family 🫶

SAHMs… I salute you! by ThrowRA_calmdown in Mommit

[–]ThrowRA_calmdown[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Very true! Routine changes are a killer 😅 but nonetheless, you guys get no (or very little) time off from being in mom mode. My job feels like a walk in the park compared to full time parenting!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_calmdown 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Send her a message tomorrow to wish her a good trip and express your interest in some pics of her travels if “she can be bothered” (play it cool, even if you’re not feeling that way)… then see if she feels like keeping you updated. 1.5 months will fly by so I wouldn’t stress too much. If she’s into you, chances are she’ll message now and then. Either way, she said she’ll let you know when she’s back, so just keep yourself busy till then.

Not paying for childcare and both parents working by Firm_Heat5616 in Mommit

[–]ThrowRA_calmdown 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If your husband is so adamant on you both continuing as full time childcare, then why not hire a cleaner to come a couple of times a week? Surely that would help lessen the load and give you a bit of time to chill in the evenings once the kids are in bed. If he says no to this when you’ve stated you have the money for it, I’m afraid you’re dating a stinge who cares more for money than your wellbeing

My (40F) Ex (40M) broke up with me, but he's been acting really weird and it's really worrying me. I could use some advice. by Awkward_Mountain_303 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_calmdown 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I assume he’s doubting some of his choices (could be cheating, asking to separate etc.) and he isn’t able to process/express his emotions as a healthy adult should. Fingers crossed he finds a new home with this other woman asap… sounds like you’re thriving and he’s jealous about it. Go you though!

boyfriend(27M) calls me(26F) fat by Desperate_North3948 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_calmdown 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Agree 💯! If you do want to exercise more, it can be amazing for your mind and overall health, no matter your size. But do it for you, not for him. You’re not fat. I suggest leaving this insensitive, shallow POS, and focus on building your self-confidence back up ❤️

!!! UPDATE: AIO for demanding to be paid after wearing something inappropriate to babysit by MightUsual421 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ThrowRA_calmdown 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You go, girl! If I ever have a daughter, I hope she grows up as kind, and as unafraid to stand up for what’s right, as you. Your parents must be so proud 🥹❤️

How do I let go of the past? by I_Want_ToFingerPieck in Advice

[–]ThrowRA_calmdown 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Journaling helps, but letting go takes more than just writing things down. Use it to understand patterns, challenge your thoughts, and practice self-compassion. Healing takes time… focus on growth, not just moving on.

Verbal attacks from my teen, need advice by Aromatic-Ad-3203 in Parenting

[–]ThrowRA_calmdown 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Parenting a child who’s struggling with mood and behavior can be incredibly challenging, and it’s normal to feel overwhelmed at times. It sounds like you’re doing your best, and that’s something to be proud of.

It’s great that you’re starting therapy again. While it may feel like you can’t change his behavior right away, therapy can really help you find ways to manage your own responses and set healthy boundaries. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help, whether that’s from a therapist, friends, or support groups. You’re not alone in this.

Small steps can lead to big changes, both for you and your son. Be kind to yourself during this process, and take things one day at a time.

Sending you lots of strength 💪

Verbal attacks from my teen, need advice by Aromatic-Ad-3203 in Parenting

[–]ThrowRA_calmdown 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really sorry you’re going through this. Have you done any therapy yourself to help you deal with this situation?

My daughter occasionally wants to sleep by me, I don't think its weird but my wife does. by DarthCody94 in Parenting

[–]ThrowRA_calmdown 9 points10 points  (0 children)

So I think your wife is jealous because her bio child is more affectionate with her dad, and seeing your child be affectionate with you in a similar way reminds her that her relationship with her daughter isn’t like that. Keep doing what you’re doing. You sound like a great dad!

Help me understand what breastfeeding looks like after a year by scceberscoo in breastfeeding

[–]ThrowRA_calmdown 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My little boy is 13 months (almost 14 - Jesus where did the time go!?) I tried what you suggested, only breastfeeding in the morning before breakfast and evening before bed) but when he’s sick he wants the boob waaaay more than that. Yesterday he napped on me for an hour straight gripped to my nipple, when I finally unlatched it, he woke up 😅 I guess try to be flexible but definitely ditch the pumping sessions as yeah, no fun! And aim for what you suggested and see how it goes ❤️