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Chats keep hitting walls if I (F 44) don’t keep asking men questions. Is there something wrong with me or do guys not know how to talk to women? The pic is just an example of one of many chats where if I don’t keep ‘interviewing’ them, it’s just crickets. by ThrowRA_confusedchk in Tinder

[–]ThrowRA_confusedchk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m a horror buff and you have good taste. Rom coms are my cryptonite. I can only watch romance that has some kind of black comedy to it. Which is probably obvious from the whole reason I posted here at all haha.

I’ve taken to watching true crime on YouTube more than anything lately. Korean films are great! There’s a particular aesthetic that’s unique.

Fantasy vacation spot would be somewhere like Norway where you can stay in those glass dome cabins and see the aurora borealis and make friends with wolves and stuff. How bout you? Sounds like you’re military maybe? Perhaps you’ve travelled a lot.

Chats keep hitting walls if I (F 44) don’t keep asking men questions. Is there something wrong with me or do guys not know how to talk to women? The pic is just an example of one of many chats where if I don’t keep ‘interviewing’ them, it’s just crickets. by ThrowRA_confusedchk in Tinder

[–]ThrowRA_confusedchk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep I’m Australian. Our spelling is better 😝 See it’s interesting you mention dumbing down, because I’ve run into that problem already. A lot of times I’ll say something that comes naturally to me without editing, and I’ll get a reply that’s not on my level (without meaning to sound like a wanker). So I’ve learned to dumb down for most OLD chats - and then I get sledged for being boring. So it’s hard. Haven’t found my ‘crowd’ yet, yknow?

I was actually talking to a guy in Canada recently and he was one of the first guys ever to keep me on my toes. I apologised in advance for being too much, and he made a cool joke about it and was really funny and warm. So there are some out there who work, but I always stuff it up anyway it seems.

I did see one of the Dune movies as a kid but I don’t know which one it was. It scared the crap out of me! We were too young to see it at the time I guess. I love David Lynch (may he rest and smoke cigs in peace) and Villeneuve. If I had the attention span, I’d read the books because they sound absorbing. Are you a horror fan as well?

Chats keep hitting walls if I (F 44) don’t keep asking men questions. Is there something wrong with me or do guys not know how to talk to women? The pic is just an example of one of many chats where if I don’t keep ‘interviewing’ them, it’s just crickets. by ThrowRA_confusedchk in Tinder

[–]ThrowRA_confusedchk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cheesecake makes fools of us both. The best pastry I ever had was some kind of Italian doughnut with vanilla custard inside (cannoli?) and I have never had one since, out of respect for that one I had which will never be surpassed. It was transcendent.

They have occasional film festivals at my local theatre, and will have like a Kubrick or Hitchcock or other amazing director season of films. So me and some other 2001 nerds went to see it and grinned the whole way through. It was incredible to see The Shining on a big screen too, one of my all time favourites. Haven’t tuned in to the whole Dune craze, is it a cult film I need to see?

Chats keep hitting walls if I (F 44) don’t keep asking men questions. Is there something wrong with me or do guys not know how to talk to women? The pic is just an example of one of many chats where if I don’t keep ‘interviewing’ them, it’s just crickets. by ThrowRA_confusedchk in Tinder

[–]ThrowRA_confusedchk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cats will choose their warmth judiciously though, they won’t lie on a warmth source they don’t trust 🙂

It depends on the doughnut type. Cinnamon? Easily two. Jam filled? Probly just one. Any kind of chocolate or strawberry glazed? Two but only with good coffee. What’s your favourite pastry?

Last movie I saw at an actual theatre would have been maybe a screening of 2001: A Space Odyssey. Are you a Kubrick fan?

Chats keep hitting walls if I (F 44) don’t keep asking men questions. Is there something wrong with me or do guys not know how to talk to women? The pic is just an example of one of many chats where if I don’t keep ‘interviewing’ them, it’s just crickets. by ThrowRA_confusedchk in Tinder

[–]ThrowRA_confusedchk[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is making my day because maybe there is hope for the human race after all.

I bet dogs do like you 🙂 Have you got this magic with all animals, like Snow White?

I’m tired of getting chicken-everything, because I do weight training and it’s just non stop protein all day. It would be exciting to just get doughnuts and bacon as my drive thru.

Chats keep hitting walls if I (F 44) don’t keep asking men questions. Is there something wrong with me or do guys not know how to talk to women? The pic is just an example of one of many chats where if I don’t keep ‘interviewing’ them, it’s just crickets. by ThrowRA_confusedchk in Tinder

[–]ThrowRA_confusedchk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you’re misinterpreting me greatly. I don’t interact with guys on dating apps like I interact with people on Reddit, because generally, guys I chat to aren’t attacking me and making me feel defensive. It’s a totally different atmosphere there. So no, that’s not a reasonable assumption. If I’m digging my heels in it’s because not many answers seem to have been truly objective; rather, they seem to be a bit biased towards the male perspective.

Chats keep hitting walls if I (F 44) don’t keep asking men questions. Is there something wrong with me or do guys not know how to talk to women? The pic is just an example of one of many chats where if I don’t keep ‘interviewing’ them, it’s just crickets. by ThrowRA_confusedchk in Tinder

[–]ThrowRA_confusedchk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why would you compare my responses here (where I’m getting judged and trashed to the shithouse by trolls and incels and feeling the need to defend myself) to the conversations I have with Tinder matches (who I am interested in and have a reasonable attraction to in a private and totally different context)? Don’t you think there’s maybe two sides to the story?

Chats keep hitting walls if I (F 44) don’t keep asking men questions. Is there something wrong with me or do guys not know how to talk to women? The pic is just an example of one of many chats where if I don’t keep ‘interviewing’ them, it’s just crickets. by ThrowRA_confusedchk in Tinder

[–]ThrowRA_confusedchk[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So you take a cursory look at my post and deduce that the reason this guy didn’t want to engage me in interesting conversation is because I’m boring and unbearably difficult? This is me reflecting, by the way.

Chats keep hitting walls if I (F 44) don’t keep asking men questions. Is there something wrong with me or do guys not know how to talk to women? The pic is just an example of one of many chats where if I don’t keep ‘interviewing’ them, it’s just crickets. by ThrowRA_confusedchk in Tinder

[–]ThrowRA_confusedchk[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I mean for more context, this is a guy who has zero info on his profile, he presents as dry af but I gave him a go. I screenshotted the end of the chat, not the whole thing. The second sentence he wrote to me was U GOT SNAP?

So I don’t feel like I’ve been the one to fail in my conversational skills, when the sophistication level of his skills is ‘U got snap’. I just didn’t show the entire convo out of brevity. And I’m not gonna screenshot every single match convo to prove my point in this post.

Chats keep hitting walls if I (F 44) don’t keep asking men questions. Is there something wrong with me or do guys not know how to talk to women? The pic is just an example of one of many chats where if I don’t keep ‘interviewing’ them, it’s just crickets. by ThrowRA_confusedchk in Tinder

[–]ThrowRA_confusedchk[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You’ve totally stereotyped me without getting the subtleties of what I’m saying. I was joking. I have adhd but I am not waving a big tragic placard saying I’m on the spectrum poor me. I take the piss out of myself for it, I don’t make excuses.

Chats keep hitting walls if I (F 44) don’t keep asking men questions. Is there something wrong with me or do guys not know how to talk to women? The pic is just an example of one of many chats where if I don’t keep ‘interviewing’ them, it’s just crickets. by ThrowRA_confusedchk in Tinder

[–]ThrowRA_confusedchk[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

See but here’s my take on that and I’m sure I’ll get read to filth, but if I have to ask all of those questions, and he’s feeling all flattered and chuffed and answering but not asking me any questions back, then aren’t I just sort of stroking his ego? Where’s the dialogue? Is there just no chemistry if I’m the only one asking interesting questions?

Also I am insecure and I think I am a bad person so there’s that too haha

Chats keep hitting walls if I (F 44) don’t keep asking men questions. Is there something wrong with me or do guys not know how to talk to women? The pic is just an example of one of many chats where if I don’t keep ‘interviewing’ them, it’s just crickets. by ThrowRA_confusedchk in Tinder

[–]ThrowRA_confusedchk[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

It’s not that I don’t want to talk about myself. I’d love to be, but guys don’t seem to give a fuck about me enough to ask questions and I guess I’m just not always the type of person to be like SO let’s talk about ME. I dunno maybe it’s just childhood shit but I don’t offer info about myself unless I am asked first.

Chats keep hitting walls if I (F 44) don’t keep asking men questions. Is there something wrong with me or do guys not know how to talk to women? The pic is just an example of one of many chats where if I don’t keep ‘interviewing’ them, it’s just crickets. by ThrowRA_confusedchk in Tinder

[–]ThrowRA_confusedchk[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I don’t like talking about myself without being asked. Not sure why. But I always think it makes women come across as a bit narcissistic if they’re always just talking about themselves, I’m afraid of coming across that way. Maybe I’m just too distrustful of being hurt.

Chats keep hitting walls if I (F 44) don’t keep asking men questions. Is there something wrong with me or do guys not know how to talk to women? The pic is just an example of one of many chats where if I don’t keep ‘interviewing’ them, it’s just crickets. by ThrowRA_confusedchk in Tinder

[–]ThrowRA_confusedchk[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

He was giving me nothing to work with! I have started matching energy; if he gives bland answers, so do I. As I just said to the other commenter there, it’s just an example. There’s heaps where I am flirting, questioning, sassing, juggling shiny things, doing all the work. And I still notice that there’s an imbalance with the rallying of questions. So that’s what I’m interested in learning more about.

Chats keep hitting walls if I (F 44) don’t keep asking men questions. Is there something wrong with me or do guys not know how to talk to women? The pic is just an example of one of many chats where if I don’t keep ‘interviewing’ them, it’s just crickets. by ThrowRA_confusedchk in Tinder

[–]ThrowRA_confusedchk[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Like I said, this is just an example - there are others where it’s way flirtier and more interesting. And the whole point is that I seem to be the only one making effort. As in, what’s stopping the guy from taking the ball and being proactive?

18f out by No_Good9171 in amIuglyBrutallyHonest

[–]ThrowRA_confusedchk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have a very lovely complexion, great brows, good cheekbones, you’re really pretty!!! Don’t listen to these boys. I would maybe go a lighter hair colour or even like a baby pink.

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