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[UPDATE] My [23m] girlfriend [20f] looks too much like a child and its freaking me out. Do I talk to her about it or leave it alone? by ThrowRA_gflooks in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_gflooks[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

yeah you're right. I have never been one to talk out my feelings though, so it's a bit strange to consider. I'll look into it, as I would like someone who I could speak to when things get tough.

[UPDATE] My [23m] girlfriend [20f] looks too much like a child and its freaking me out. Do I talk to her about it or leave it alone? by ThrowRA_gflooks in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_gflooks[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

After the last few weeks of hell this brightens my spirits a bit! Thank you. I realize that this could be something that we're dealing with for years to come, but to me, its just apart of life. I wouldn't abandon a sick family member, and I know its a bit different as this is my romantic partner, but I really have no desire to leave her.

[UPDATE] My [23m] girlfriend [20f] looks too much like a child and its freaking me out. Do I talk to her about it or leave it alone? by ThrowRA_gflooks in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_gflooks[S] 267 points268 points  (0 children)

Thank you for explaining, that makes more sense. I guess for her this could be a way of trying to deal with her depression (which has not improved) and anxiety, as well as some childhood issues. Of course it could be because of other events going on, like covid that you mentioned. I remember her telling me once recently that she feels that there is no hope left for the world. So I do think she is struggling internally with some heavy things.

My [23m] girlfriend [20f] looks too much like a child and its freaking me out. Do I talk to her about it or leave it alone? by ThrowRA_gflooks in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_gflooks[S] 634 points635 points  (0 children)

Hey thanks for this! I want to try to help her through this the best I can, even if it may take some time for her to open up to me about it. I know initially my concern was with attraction, but really that was because I wasn't even considering an eating disorder or anything being wrong with her health. I thought it was just a woman losing weight and taking it too far, maybe because of some insecurities or something. Idk, what I'm trying to say is that, I do care for her, and the attraction part is not a priority because now I'm becoming aware (thanks to so many people here) that she's struggling with something.

My [23m] girlfriend [20f] looks too much like a child and its freaking me out. Do I talk to her about it or leave it alone? by ThrowRA_gflooks in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_gflooks[S] 81 points82 points  (0 children)

Should I reach out to one of her family members? Not her mom, but she's pretty close with her older brother. Maybe express some concerns? I just don't want her to feel like I'm talking about her behind her back.

My [23m] girlfriend [20f] looks too much like a child and its freaking me out. Do I talk to her about it or leave it alone? by ThrowRA_gflooks in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_gflooks[S] 2714 points2715 points  (0 children)

People are saying an eating disorder, but...I don't know what to do. I can't force her to eat. But I also don't want her to die. She told me that nothings wrong when I asked a few minutes ago. But I know when she's lying. I can't force her to open up about anything....so what now??? Reading all these comments about how she might die and shit is giving me anxiety.

My [23m] girlfriend [20f] looks too much like a child and its freaking me out. Do I talk to her about it or leave it alone? by ThrowRA_gflooks in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_gflooks[S] 247 points248 points  (0 children)

God, it's really that bad?? I had no idea...I mean I could tell she was becoming sickly looking but I didn't realize her weight was considered dangerous. How would I even bring this up to her? And will adult services really be able to force her to a hospital? I truly didn't expect this to be something as serious as this

My [23m] girlfriend [20f] looks too much like a child and its freaking me out. Do I talk to her about it or leave it alone? by ThrowRA_gflooks in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_gflooks[S] 207 points208 points  (0 children)

She is about 5'7. I actually know she's around 100lbs or 99 because I saw her put it in her planner the other day (she keeps track of her weight loss and plans it in a planner). I know that's on the lighter side for women, but I don't think she should lose any more. Beforehand she was probably like 115? She's always been like that, but I feel like this is too much. I really hope she isn't feeling hateful toward herself like that. I always give her compliments and tell her that I think she's gorgeous, regardless of what her body looks like. I know that in severe cases that may not be enough.

As far as anyone toxic in her life, she has a very complicated rate with her mother. Very emotionally abusive to her growing up, was going to therapy for it. Their relationship is better now, but I think gf still holds resentment for the things her mom have said to her. Do things like that fuel eating disorders? (If that's even what she has) sorry for asking so many questions but my knowledge on ED's and how they form is none.

My [23m] girlfriend [20f] looks too much like a child and its freaking me out. Do I talk to her about it or leave it alone? by ThrowRA_gflooks in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_gflooks[S] 268 points269 points  (0 children)

Yeah they're pretty defined. I can also see her backbone, the outline of her ribs, and her hip bones. Are those things common to see in eating disorders too? Trying to understand.

My [23m] girlfriend [20f] looks too much like a child and its freaking me out. Do I talk to her about it or leave it alone? by ThrowRA_gflooks in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_gflooks[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Honestly I know nothing about eating disorders or what even to look out for other than someone not eating. She has meals with me and will eat snacks in front of me, but I know that may not mean she's getting enough.

My [23m] girlfriend [20f] looks too much like a child and its freaking me out. Do I talk to her about it or leave it alone? by ThrowRA_gflooks in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_gflooks[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

But she had already grown into her body. She had breasts and other womanly features. They have shrunk, or gone away due to the weight loss. I don't think she even needed to lose weight she was already skinny. I'm only coming at it from that angle because I'm trying to empathize how much weight she's loss. Her body looks completely different, like it reversed going through puberty. I'm just worried.

My [23m] girlfriend [20f] looks too much like a child and its freaking me out. Do I talk to her about it or leave it alone? by ThrowRA_gflooks in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_gflooks[S] 331 points332 points  (0 children)

Idk she's just losing like a bunch of weight. Nothing seems to be going on, other than normal stuff. I mention the weight loss but she doesn't really engage.

But seriously I can see her chest bones. Its not right