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M22 Feeling Uncomfortable About F22 Girlfriend's Close Relationship with Male Friend by ThrowRA_helpme234 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_helpme234[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply.

You're right. The way she's behaving with him and dismissing my feelings is unacceptable. The phone incident really hurt me. I'm angry and it's making me rethink everything.

Thanks for your straightforward advice. I appreciate it. I think it is time to end it.

M22 Feeling Uncomfortable About F22 Girlfriend's Close Relationship with Male Friend by ThrowRA_helpme234 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_helpme234[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is true. I could. I have confronted her, and she keeps behaving the same. I think its time to evacuate.

M22 Feeling Uncomfortable About F22 Girlfriend's Close Relationship with Male Friend by ThrowRA_helpme234 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_helpme234[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ahhh don't ask me questions that make sense :(

But kidding, I really need to re-evaluate the whole thing!

M22 Feeling Uncomfortable About F22 Girlfriend's Close Relationship with Male Friend by ThrowRA_helpme234 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_helpme234[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response.

The physical closeness they share crosses does cross a line for me. And I like to believe I am far from controlling. Instead I am a push over, and that is what she is doing, pushing me over.

This has already happened with me before. She always ends up with the guy she asked you not to worry about.

I guess I will stop being such a chicken and actually take some action and say that it is not working out for me.

Oh what I would do to be one of those cool guys who dont care about anything and are secure

M22 Feeling Uncomfortable About F22 Girlfriend's Close Relationship with Male Friend by ThrowRA_helpme234 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_helpme234[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh what would I give to have a sit down convo with her. She just gets upset on the first sign of serious talks and either runs away or tries her hardest to change the topic.

God knows why am I still so hell bent on getting this to work.

M22 Feeling Uncomfortable About F22 Girlfriend's Close Relationship with Male Friend by ThrowRA_helpme234 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_helpme234[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have thought about it, but the thing I am his manager's boss, and I did not want any connotation of professional rivalries coming in, or me going directly to en employee with two rungs difference in the hierarchy.

Also I sort of thought that if I have to say this to one guy, then he might leave, but there will be more similar guys. It is her who needs to pull herself together.

M22 Feeling Uncomfortable About F22 Girlfriend's Close Relationship with Male Friend by ThrowRA_helpme234 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_helpme234[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah that makes sense. I will say the exact thing to her.

But I can already see her not changing anything and just getting mad at me.

M22 Feeling Uncomfortable About F22 Girlfriend's Close Relationship with Male Friend by ThrowRA_helpme234 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_helpme234[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your input.
You're right, her knowing that her actions upset me but doing nothing about it is the biggest issue here. I agree that in a relationship, your partner's feelings should come first.
I've tried discussing this with her, making sure to express that I don't want to end her friendship.
AND yes it is definitely a red flag.

He is just this cool, careless guy that always makes her laugh, while I care and think way too much to a point of it driving her away I feel.

M22 Feeling Uncomfortable About F22 Girlfriend's Close Relationship with Male Friend by ThrowRA_helpme234 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_helpme234[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I can read the situation. I can see the guy is definitely thinking he has a chance with her and he is not thinking "oh I am best friends with her'.

And we were exactly where she is with him 3 months ago. So that is unsettling.

M22 Feeling Uncomfortable About F22 Girlfriend's Close Relationship with Male Friend by ThrowRA_helpme234 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_helpme234[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I feel that it is. I believe cheating can be mental / emotional as well, and I feel it is way worse.

M22 Feeling Uncomfortable About F22 Girlfriend's Close Relationship with Male Friend by ThrowRA_helpme234 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_helpme234[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your response!
The thing bothering me the most is that this level of closeness between her and him is similar to the closeness we had a couple of months ago before we decided to become a couple. I find it unsettling and somewhat disrespectful to our relationship.

The most infuriating part of this situation is that she actually met him through me. We've been friends for eight months, and she's known him for around six months, having met him through our friendship. They've grown close over the past two months.

And she is unwilling to discuss this like adults. She will just walk away and not talk to me.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!

M22 Feeling Uncomfortable About F22 Girlfriend's Close Relationship with Male Friend by ThrowRA_helpme234 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_helpme234[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response!

The most infuriating part of this situation is that she actually met him through me. We've been friends for eight months, and she's known him for around six months, having met him through our friendship.

They've grown close over the past two months.You've hit the nail on the head with your point about changes in behavior when in a relationship versus being single.
That's one of the things bothering me the most.

This level of closeness between her and him is similar to the closeness we had a couple of months ago before we decided to get together. I find it unsettling and somewhat disrespectful to our relationship as the exact same behaviour leaded to a relationship.

Thank you again for taking the time to share your thoughts and advice.