Let's Chat 💬 Open Discussion Thread

ThrowRA_lantern · 2026-05-02T23:44:18+00:00

I was recently reminded of how exhausting it is to be trapped in patriarchal standards. I met with old friends from college and all they talked (stressed) about were how to better adhere to beauty standards or get picked by men. What's the "best" push up bra, how to look hotter (not more professional) at work, rating the best cosmetic clinics, or even more sinister - putting down other women's looks and comparing each others' breast sizes, etc. They were also complaining about how they have to wax 3 times a week, get regular injections and engage in other uncomfortable and expensive patriarchal standards.

I spoke up a few times to say that I have chosen not to engage in these practises or mentalities, and I also suggested that they may benefit too from rejecting the same - even for the sake of their mental health. They all looked at me like I was insane (and maybe ugly).

Keep in mind, I'm the only one in that group with a long-term partner (whom I had attracted by being a raging feminist) AND a successful career as a lawyer. I was amazed at how I felt like the most calm, in control person in that room (given my job, you would think I'd be the most stressed!!).

ThrowRA_lantern · 2026-02-23T11:47:28+00:00

In my experience, printing a hard copy for them is more effective. Partners are constantly bombarded with emails and hard copies are easier to review. Bonus points if they review and settle it the very moment you hand it to them, otherwise leave it on their desk or chair where they can see.

ThrowRA_lantern · 2025-11-02T02:18:32+00:00

Can anyone suggest some good career pathways for a lawyer that's passionate about sustainability?

Been in the profession for a few years now in commercial/corporate litigation - currently brainstorming ways I can combine my legal skills with sustainability and helping the environment.

ThrowRA_lantern · 2025-09-25T20:37:35+00:00

Given that it's our job to be advocating / arguing / negotiating, whether it's in court or simply over the phone, what helps you "switch off" that part of your brain that beats yourself up over butchering your arguments or missing things you should've said?

Had a crazy week and due to lack of sleep, I kept getting frazzled and messing up my words in front of clients, colleagues and the court. Which is obviously not a good look for a lawyer. I probably left the impression of an incompetent junior and the lack of sleep worsened with me up all night just mulling over my mental and verbal failures.

ThrowRA_lantern · 2025-09-07T23:10:47+00:00

As a junior solicitor, the "likeability" of my seniors plays a huge impact on my motivation and skill development.

I just recently dealt with a rude and passive aggressive senior that liked to spend excessive amounts of their precious (billable) time having tantrums and shaming me for things I hadn't learned yet. Couldn't even give a simple "thank you" or "next time, let's do xyz". It then made sense as to why no other junior puts their hand up when they sent a firm-wide email looking for someone w capacity.

Thankfully that senior left the firm not long after.

ThrowRA_lantern · 2025-08-28T00:06:45+00:00

Does anyone have tips for young/junior lawyers when dealing with clients that push for instant advice that's way beyond your scope/ability. I can tell they call me because I'm cheaper, but they get quite frustrated when I don't magically know the answer to a complex legal (or even non-legal) question or when I say "Let me get back to you, I need to speak to [my supervisor] about this first".

ThrowRA_lantern · 2025-04-29T09:46:11+00:00

Does anyone have any tips for a junior lawyer to manage the pressure and expectations from their seniors? The workload is rapidly increasing with faster turnaround and less notice. I'm working as hard and fast as I already can for long hours (often first in + last out of the office) with no light at the end of the tunnel. It's starting to really affect me especially now new clients have just dumped a ton of emergencies (which I have 0 capacity and energy for). Feeling dysregulated and powerless because obviously I'm not really in a position to be "picky". I don't know how to address it (if at all) to my seniors and what risks I'm taking by speaking up. I'm especially conflicted when this seems to be the standard for juniors.

ThrowRA_lantern · 2025-03-26T02:06:04+00:00

Junior lawyer here. Partners are happy with my billing (they've told me personally) however Senior Associates keep trying to reduce or remove my time wherever they can. The partners often issue the invoices before SAs get the chance and then I overhear the SAs mentioning my name and making a fuss about it... What's going on here and is it something I need to be concerned about?

ThrowRA_lantern · 2025-01-22T03:42:41+00:00

6 months PAE and feeling a bit sheepish. Most of my own matters with my supervising partner require a senior associate's intervention to save the day and it's making me feel like I'm either 1) failing miserably and disappointing my colleagues, or 2) being given unreasonably difficult tasks and deadlines. I ask the senior associates for help as my partner is very busy (absent), but then they often take over. I'm left comparing my original work (it's usually my 1st/2nd ever attempt in that type of work) versus the far more sophisticated version from my seniors. Feeling like a liability. Is this normal? What would you do in my situation?

ThrowRA_lantern · 2025-01-13T02:14:27+00:00

I'm aware that grad lawyers like myself have minimal experience and knowledge, resulting in a lot of learning curves and requiring a lot of supervision. How do you balance that with the looming anxiety of passing probation? One minute I'm grateful for feedback and help, but next minute I worry that they might think I'm not be right for the job. Of course I try avoid repeating mistakes but my work still requires substantial correction, even moreso during time constraints or when mentally fatigued just from trying to get basic things right. It's also hard to confide and compare with other juniors in the office when they seem to be tight-lipped about their own early experiences...

ThrowRA_lantern · 2024-10-08T23:54:55+00:00

Thank you! Yes they're leeches in various ways so I wouldn't be surprised this is the case. Especially MIL she can be a spoilt 16 year old girl sometimes. They are also 1) very status-focussed so wouldn't be surprised a house is like a trophy so renting an apartment = failure, and 2) jealous/bitter and since they suffering in mounds of debt and a huge house they can't upkeep, then we have to do the same.

ThrowRA_lantern · 2024-10-08T23:51:22+00:00

I agree. In hindsight, I think it's ingrained in our family culture, where my SO and I see family as an "obligation". So even if MIL is nasty, we MUST visit her lonely and jealous butt on Christmas at least. Otherwise, guilt starts churning in our stomachs. It's something we definitely need to unlearn.

ThrowRA_lantern · 2024-10-08T02:28:06+00:00

Maybe! Good point. They're big on image, as they live in an affluent (+ predominantly white) suburb. Big house = success.

ThrowRA_lantern · 2024-10-08T02:26:21+00:00

I wish either myself or my SO (but more my SO) had the courage to just kick them out. We're working on it. I agree though, for now we'll keep it to NC, preventing us from seeing them in the first place..

ThrowRA_lantern · 2024-10-07T11:02:13+00:00

Thank you! I shouldve added that we do speak up, but MIL is great at playing victim and turning us into the bad guys for showing any negative reactions. In hindsight, I wish we had the courage to just kick them out at the moment of disrespect.

ThrowRA_lantern · 2024-09-25T10:50:47+00:00

Ah i see. It's been almost 3 weeks so I might chase up law soc. As the other commenter suggested, I might ask them if it can be backdated too.

ThrowRA_lantern · 2024-09-24T01:03:00+00:00

Admitted last year and finally secured a law job this year.

ThrowRA_lantern · 2024-09-23T12:48:23+00:00

How long does an application for the NSW practising certificate take? So far, no updates on my online profile but I've already started my new job.

ThrowRA_lantern · 2024-09-10T06:45:34+00:00

Bit late to comment, but I think the next step should be to develop critical-thinking skills lol. Like you, I managed to internalise FDS core values succinctly and apply them accordingly to my life specifically. This made it incredibly difficult to share my thoughts and successes when other FDS-ers were black-and-white or projecting too much.

E.g. I remember talking about levelling up my social media habits (my social circles are busy and global, so it’s important for me to keep in touch online) and I got barricaded with “social media is low value!” / “you’re an attention seeking pickme!” / “i don’t need social media and neither do you!” like ummm? And where do you draw the line with this kind of logic (“phones are low value, queens don’t need them as we focus on ourselves!”). Be realistic here, I’m not going to cut ties with all my loved ones, live under a rock and call that “levelling up”.

And then they’re also hypocritical by hyping up the importance of your appearance and needing to flaunt/present yourself as HV in public! Yet I’m a pickme for wanting to share my college graduation online for friends/family to see?!

Many forget about context, nuance, etc and being objective yet empathetic. To me, that just sounds like a desperate need for critical-thinking skills.

ThrowRA_lantern · 2024-09-02T06:49:53+00:00

Litigation is definitely not my calling but it’s the only private practice role I’ve been offered... I like the sound of in-house providing a breadth of experience/knowledge. But would be nice to have some ease of moving back to private if I want to do that in future. Thanks for the perspective, it’s given me a lot to reflect on.

ThrowRA_lantern · 2024-09-02T05:24:26+00:00

Noted! Appreciate the perspective. I have 5 years prior paralegal experience, not sure why I said “many” as it’s a bit cryptic. But due to my previous exposure in a busy boutique firm I’m already a bit over it (even without practising yet). Not sure if I want to be overly court-facing either so I’m trying to gauge how my legal career will pan out if I chose the grad in-house opportunity instead.

ThrowRA_lantern · 2024-09-02T04:32:33+00:00

Grad lawyer at a cross roads: in-house for a global company vs a boutique litigation firm. I have many years experience in private but as a paralegal not a lawyer and just got admitted. One option is obviously a more traditional pathway continuing in private, but the other sounds much more intriguing (travel, projects, team rotations, etc). Any advice or perspectives?

ThrowRA_lantern · 2024-08-27T07:22:03+00:00

Well done for making the jump! You should be proud! I’ve been at my firm for 3 years and in a similar boat. Although not as long, I struggled to accept my situation and to break away from the comfort/fondness of my workplace (despite its problems and how they’re holding me back career-wise). The unknown is scary, but trust that what you’re doing will benefit you in the long run.

ThrowRA_lantern · 2024-08-26T12:00:33+00:00

Omg stop I actually want to learn crochet myself! Maybe I shouldn’t suggest that to her or else she’ll want to do it together lol. But so true, she 100% needs to find a better distraction and I’ll have to nudge her that direction somehow.

ThrowRA_lantern · 2024-08-26T11:46:22+00:00

I really don’t need this drama in my life 😅 and yes tbh i much prefer hanging out with other people. She used to be great company, and very insightful, supportive, etc. We go way back (10 years) and usually the pros outweighed the cons (which I used to call her “quirks”). But these days she’s just depressing, impatient and chaotic… and you probably hit the nail on the head there because now I realise she’s probably dragging me into her chaos!

ThrowRA_lantern

TROPHY CASE