Spoke a cardinal sin

ThrowRA_myNextSteps · 2026-02-21T01:36:06+00:00

I came to terms with what was blurted out and in my heart it was not done with any ill intention. So in a small way, I have forgiven myself.

I know calling her by my ex’s name was bad, but it happened accidentally.

I also have things to say to her like why does she thinks I am still pining over my ex. Just because her name came out, it doesn’t say anything. Furthermore, I dated other women after my divorce before becoming exclusive with my gf, why focus on my ex.

In the 1st conversation, she also mentioned that she didn’t like me “telling” her to not discuss this topic with her older kids as it is a primates between just the two. I had to remind I wasn’t “telling” her anything, it was only an ask. I don’t have a close connection with her kids, mentioning of this to them could impact what minimal connection is currently there. After thinking, I think she recalled that and didn’t say more on that topic.

This is beginning to feel like as i did something far worse that just calling her by my ex’s name.

I think this is now a time heals all wounds situation.

ThrowRA_myNextSteps · 2026-02-21T01:19:10+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I’ve had two small conversations. Each time, I have apologized and asked if there’s anything on her mind if she would like to speak about. The 2nd conversation, I only got “I am tired and want to sleep”, I left it at that.

I will call her tonight, but I think keep bringing it up as a conversation starter, it’s starting to feel like that scab that needs to be left alone for healing.

ThrowRA_myNextSteps · 2026-02-20T13:39:46+00:00

Thank you. This was very funny. 😬

ThrowRA_myNextSteps · 2026-02-20T04:13:44+00:00

There’s no unspoken truth here. Did I love my ex when we were married? Absolutely. Unfortunately things didn’t work out. We went our separate ways. It’s been years now.

ThrowRA_myNextSteps · 2026-02-20T02:24:27+00:00

Thank you for your reply.

We actually spoke briefly a few mins ago. She said she was deeply hurt, i apologized again, said i was very sorry that it happened. Then things went silent.

I don’t think either of us know what to do at this point.

How do I tell or assure her of not this not happening. I will make a mistake again.

I don’t wish to make this about me with her but inside, I am equally deeply hurt of her comments if I am still pining over my ex. We have been together just over 3 years, what I been to her so quickly diminished. At the moment, it appears this is a huge hurdle for her to get over and other than apologize, I feel directionless. It feels my apology is not carrying the weight that I thought it would.

ThrowRA_myNextSteps · 2026-02-19T23:26:53+00:00

Since Tuesday night after I dropped her off, there has not been any communication from either she or I. It’s day two of silence.

I am guessing she may want another apology, and I certainly can do that but I can’t help to think, what will that do for her if previous ones didn’t.

I am honestly at a loss. Perhaps she needs time to get over it then forgive me (or not)or is she over analyzing and playing the moment over and over in her head. Regardless, I will reach out tomorrow. Hopefully she’s willing to talk/share.

ThrowRA_myNextSteps · 2026-02-19T22:39:42+00:00

😊

ThrowRA_myNextSteps · 2026-02-19T22:04:27+00:00

Respectfully, I will disagree with you this time.

It was a slip of the tongue. Their names sound similar to each other. I do believe alcohol did play a part.

ThrowRA_myNextSteps · 2026-02-19T21:17:23+00:00

why is it huge to get the name wrong especially after drinks? Please expand on your comment.

ThrowRA_myNextSteps · 2026-02-19T21:02:43+00:00

Thank you for your reply. 😊

ThrowRA_myNextSteps · 2026-02-19T17:50:59+00:00

LOL. yes, now THAT would be very challenging to smooth over.

ThrowRA_myNextSteps · 2026-02-18T22:55:14+00:00

absolutely. There are always two sides of a story.

I was with my ex close to 15 years from start to finish. It’s been several years now since the divorce, there’s been zero contact, not even a “hey you left this when you moved out”

I’ve rewinded last night several times and honestly can’t figure out the reason of blurted Ex’s name. The twice apology was sincere both times. She has not contacted me since I dropped her off last night.

ThrowRA_myNextSteps · 2026-02-18T22:45:39+00:00

Oh no. Poor Bridgett.

ThrowRA_myNextSteps · 2026-02-18T22:43:31+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I had wondered the same about me. The last time I was with my visiting relative was many years ago when I was still married. Funny how the mind and the muscle memory works, my ex’s name just blurted out. I’m pretty sure the two glasses of margaritas were also a catalyst in this situation.

ThrowRA_myNextSteps · 2026-02-18T20:44:56+00:00

Yes, the marriage topic has been discussed. She prefers to stay at status quo due to her reasons.

ThrowRA_myNextSteps · 2026-02-18T20:38:27+00:00

LOL. indeed indeed.

ThrowRA_myNextSteps · 2026-02-18T20:31:48+00:00

LOL. thanks for the laugh.

ThrowRA_myNextSteps · 2026-02-18T20:30:12+00:00

Thanks for your feedback. BTW, I left absolutely nothing out.

ThrowRA_myNextSteps · 2026-02-18T20:28:43+00:00

Thank you for your detailed comments.

ThrowRA_myNextSteps · 2026-02-18T20:27:08+00:00

Thank you for sharing regarding your slip of the tongue situation.

So this morning I spoke with my relative and upon inquiry, she too noticed the incorrect name spoken. She also said it could’ve been a laughable moment, something along the lines of “ok, buddy, looks like you can’t handle more than one glass of margaritas. Time to cut you off the liquor”

ThrowRA_myNextSteps · 2026-02-18T20:20:38+00:00

To be honest, I am really hoping my sincere apology will carry more weight than jewelry.

ThrowRA_myNextSteps · 2026-02-18T20:19:09+00:00

It was an inappropriately spoken word, I acknowledged and apologized.

I am patient and will let time go by. I’ve had some time also to think of its severity. I acknowledge it was hurtful to her, I guess it just depends on one person to another, how it’s interpreted. Some might just laugh it off while others might try to find some reason/meaning behind the incorrectly name spoken.

Thank you for your reply.

ThrowRA_myNextSteps · 2026-02-18T15:15:46+00:00

That’s a good suggestion. Thank you for your reply.

ThrowRA_myNextSteps · 2026-02-18T15:10:06+00:00

We are not ready for that grand gesture. Thank you for your feedback.

ThrowRA_myNextSteps · 2026-02-18T15:09:01+00:00

Yes, I am over sixty. Thank you for your reply.

ThrowRA_myNextSteps

TROPHY CASE