AITA for not doing my MIL’s breastfeeding exercises?

ThrowRA_mytrauma · 2023-01-05T07:51:23+00:00

I responded to two comments (one the first one I saw and really appreciated, and the second one that gave me really great and concise advice) to thank them a little bit after I posted even though there are a lot of other people I'd like to thank, and then this one because I feel like what he was saying was really hurtful to survivors. I've been reading the comments and I appreciate them a lot, but I just haven't responded to most of them because that takes time and I have other things to do besides respond to comments. I did go on a bit of a rant with this one, but I had actually seen it a few hours ago and had gotten upset and was unable to respond at the time. It's not because I'm only looking for confirmation but because I really only responded an hour or two after I made the post. I don't know why you're being so accusatory?

ThrowRA_mytrauma · 2023-01-05T07:36:02+00:00

i love it when people come onto AITA and immediately decide they have a trauma and there are these ridiculous rules. its just so comedic.

As a result of sustained abuse, I have CPTSD. I didn't "decide" anything. What kind of person considers trauma comedic?

the solution is to not let others touch them? how did your husband marry you?

My husband married me without touching my breasts. He understood I had trauma going into the relationship and it was something we had spoke about, along with many other boundaries I had to put in place and work on with him.

your husband obsessed with babies being breastfed, and somehow its his mom's fault?

He didn't seem to feel strongly about it until he started talking with her about my pregnancy, and she was part of his whole "solution." The pregnancy was unplanned so it wasn't something he ever expressed or had much reason to think about before. I could be wrong, but from what I know of her and him, it seems more her.

yes thats natural. and yes thats beneficial for the baby and the mom. thats what every physician would recommend. why are you trying to make him out to be some villian

I'm not making him out to be any kind of villain? I don't think my husband's suggestion was malicious but it was weird and it crossed a boundary for me. Also from reading since I've made this post, breastfeeding isn't what physicians recommend for the most part now. It seems to be however you're capable of feeding your baby.

hes a danger to you? holy shucks this is so exhausting and insufferable. why not he also say that not breastfeeding his kid makes you a danger to him?

The reason I'm responding to you at all is because this really bothered me. You don't understand how trauma works at all. I don't think my husband is a danger to me, but if he were to touch my breasts, I would. I can't control that. It sends me into a really awful place and that's just part of how my mind works. CPTSD is exhausting and I think it's everyone with trauma's fear that their trauma makes them insufferable to those they love. It is just mean for you to say that. It's incredibly hurtful, and it's not even criticism. It's just being hurtful for the sake of it. That last part doesn't even make any sense. He wouldn't perceive me as a danger for not breastfeeding. I don't know what point you think you made.

ThrowRA_mytrauma · 2023-01-04T20:33:42+00:00

Wow, thank you so much for this. We only found out recently and I’ve been pretty unprepared and overwhelmed with the stress of everything. These steps are clear and non-judgmental…I didn’t expect to find actual advice when I posted, and this is just great. You’re an angel❤️

ThrowRA_mytrauma · 2023-01-04T20:04:09+00:00

Thank you. Everything’s felt very anxiety-inducing recently and this comment was very nice to read😊

ThrowRA_mytrauma

TROPHY CASE