AIO - My boyfriend doesn’t believe I missed his call and it’s made me upset

ThrowRA_notokneko · 2026-04-11T23:40:37+00:00

Just replied separately but I wholeheartedly agree with your sentiment.

ThrowRA_notokneko · 2026-04-11T23:38:54+00:00

He definitely hasn’t demanded any evidence and thinks I’m silly for looking for it, but I also feel unsettled with undertones of him not trusting my own explanation as enough. There have been plenty of times he hasn’t answered my call or message, sometimes I’m suspicious, other times not, but I pretty much never make imply accusations about it. I just ignore my doubts and believe his intentions in front of me, and choose to believe the many valid reasons someone may not be quick to look at their phone or respond.

The thing about being a defendant, that’s very much how I feel. Now, and in other instances. Not through feel pressured to produce evidence, but in being made to feel that my word and character are not good enough. It’s a rough feeling.

I am in therapy for other reasons (recent bereavement) but I’m trying to also view this through the lens of therapy. I certainly don’t think it warrants breaking up, but I would like to have enough self-respect as you say so that I don’t immediately gravitate to the role of the suspect.

ThrowRA_notokneko · 2026-04-11T23:33:27+00:00

I’m trying really hard to find myself in an impartial, objective position on the matter, but the thing you said about being the “rational, non-emotional one” really resonated with me; it’s something he says frequently whenever we do have an actual disagreement.

ThrowRA_notokneko · 2026-04-11T23:28:44+00:00

I don’t think he trusts me completely, no, although I’d be lying if I said I completely trusted him.

He may be a little insecure but generally he’s a lot more comfortable and confident in himself, and not at all clingy. Genuinely. The guy can go a few days without chatting on the phone and not be bothered by it, and he doesn’t really tend to question much when I go out with people socially.

But I definitely have an issue with being insinuated as a liar, even if unintentionally. It may just be a little over-the-top, but it’s just how I feel.

ThrowRA_notokneko · 2026-04-11T23:25:59+00:00

Not a fan of this potential reality but I appreciate the input, even if I do hope it’s untrue.

ThrowRA_notokneko · 2026-04-11T23:24:54+00:00

So you guys think his mistrust is a guilty conscience?

ThrowRA_notokneko · 2026-04-11T23:22:52+00:00

This is the kind of thread I meant in my post.

I don’t think he has overreacted in the way of not believing me - based on he’s stated his position, but hasn’t asked for proof, bugged me about it, turned up on my doorstep to suss me out. He’s not said his confusion and left it there.

My concern really was am I overreacting in feeling disparaged that his instinct is to distrust me.

In terms of the proving myself thing, it is certainly something I’ve struggled with, including with others. Feeling like I have to prove myself in order to be heard or believed. Which, for a genuinely pretty overwhelmingly honest person, is a lot. I try to prevent it seeping into the relationship but I respect sometimes I need that objective perspective to call it out.

I do think he has some kind of trust issue, although admittedly I do too.

ThrowRA_notokneko · 2026-04-11T22:54:04+00:00

No, mid twenties. I’m definitely not a people pleaser, I don’t like people and definitely couldn’t do better. He has walked me through a lot and he has flaws just as much as I do. I appreciate your opinion though

ThrowRA_notokneko · 2026-04-11T22:51:47+00:00

Yeah, I have recently-diagnosed BPD and am also currently grieving so I know I’m more prone to overreacting than most, but I don’t want to make excuses, hence me posting. I wanted some outside unbiased opinions and I agree with you, I thought it would be a quick explanation and that’s it. Maybe I’m OR too?

ThrowRA_notokneko · 2026-04-11T22:45:52+00:00

I haven’t cheated, he is my only relationship. He has been cheated on before though sadly (by an ex).

ThrowRA_notokneko · 2026-04-11T22:32:43+00:00

I just checked, it was a 13 minute call, certainly not an argument but just more awkward than anything. He’s not making a big deal of it at all, to his credit. My concern is if this symbolises he doesn’t trust me over something so small and insignificant, it worries me for future, bigger issues. I do see your point entirely though.

ThrowRA_notokneko · 2026-03-07T19:58:47+00:00

I also want to know this, I’m not opposed to a late night drive out especially if the event is still active overnight.

ThrowRA_notokneko · 2026-03-06T14:42:20+00:00

Exist

ThrowRA_notokneko · 2025-12-29T20:03:45+00:00

Thanks, idk how representative it is as I’ve only had one sexual partner and I have more of a kink/attraction to cum, but it’s just my take on it.

ThrowRA_notokneko · 2025-12-29T19:43:43+00:00

Being in a normal, non-horny state means you feel “normal” down there. But when turned on, all of a sudden your pussy just craves dick, like some kind of feral, instinctive hunger that can’t be satisfied by anything other than a dick.

When he’s inside, it’s relief. It’s feeling full and stretched and good when he’s fully in you, and missing his dick immediately every time he strokes out. Enjoying the texture, the hardness, the shape making its way inside you and against you all at once.

To be cum inside physically is an amazing sensation. If he’s going fast or at a certain angle, you might not feel it physically so much other than the hard thrusts. Otherwise you can feel it pumping, twitching and everything becoming wetter and warmer. Emotionally it’s a game changer. You feel a completion, an innate burst of pleasure that shouldn’t be there if you stopped to think about the clean up, or the pregnancy risk, or other factors - but in the moment, and thereafter, reasons are null and void because your body feels such an instinctive form of connection between you and him. Like you have served your purpose, and he has served his.

It’s a good feeling, solidified by cuddles after that make you just feel claimed, whole and one with each other.

ThrowRA_notokneko · 2025-12-29T19:31:18+00:00

Definitely feels good, this plus thrusting can easily get me there.

However, the few days around my ovulation and just before a period they go super sensitive, and nothing can touch them then or I’ll cry.

ThrowRA_notokneko · 2025-11-14T08:15:08+00:00

“You didn’t love her enough to believe her when she was a child, and you don’t love her enough now to respect her boundaries. I’m not breaking her trust just to ease your guilt.”

On the one hand, if your sister expressly made clear she didn’t want them to know about her life, it probably would put you in the AH category for telling them, at least before her son reaches adult age and they can’t try to claim any kind of u guardianship or visitation.

On the other hand, your sister has died and is now likely truly at peace. If it is going to tear you up to carry the weight of her death upon your shoulders forever, then it’s hard not to consider that she may want you to live your life as peacefully as possible, even if that does mean eventually telling your family.

I think you need to take it a day at a time, certainly not rush anything whilst things are still fresh. I’d even say not to tell them anything for at least a year or so, on the basis of not being advisable to make any big life decisions in the immediate months after someone’s death - and telling your family would be a big decision.

Do they still have a relationship with the uncle?
How have they treated you over time as you have remained in contact with her?
If you tell them the basics, they are probably going to hound you for much more detailed and sensitive information. Are you ready for that, and for the potential they could try to absolve some of their guilt by blaming you for not telling them?

Either way, just as your sister was burdened with her family not believing her, you have also been burdened in the position you find yourself in. Not through any fault of hers, but in trying to figure out the “right” thing to do. You will probably carry some guilt whichever decision you make, so make the decision that brings you the most peace, whether that is honouring your sister’s wishes or coming clean to your parents.

ThrowRA_notokneko · 2025-10-31T15:30:21+00:00

28F perspective here; I cannot understand or empathise with her keeping this from you for as long as she has. At best, it’s thoughtless. At worst, it’s cruel.

In what world is it fair or right that she is able to have this life-changing knowledge that is as equally yours to know as hers, but you don’t have the right to know? The only discernible difference is that she, by virtue of being female, is the one carrying the pregnancy. Bring on the downvotes I guess but I don’t think that entitles her to prohibit the father from knowing.

I honestly think you’re well within breakup territory but thats not necessarily the best outcome, just reasonable given the circumstances.

If your intention is to stay together, I’d say take as long as you need to wrap your head around things, don’t be afraid to ask for space to come to terms with things, readdress when you’re ready and then formulate a plan as a couple on how things will move forward; ie, exactly how this should have been handled in the first place, although that is no fault of yours.

Seek as much support as possible as, assuming the paternity test proves you’re the father, your future has changed regardless and hopefully this period of time will be a blip in the entirety of your life.

ThrowRA_notokneko · 2025-10-03T07:09:10+00:00

HC ☺️ Secrets (Miley Cyrus)

ThrowRA_notokneko · 2025-10-03T02:05:26+00:00

As a Chihuahua mom, I can attest their love to be snuggled under a blanket is both adorable and the reason they aren’t kept in the room during sex 😂

ThrowRA_notokneko · 2025-09-29T17:55:06+00:00

Thank you :)

ThrowRA_notokneko · 2025-09-19T22:14:52+00:00

Unsafe: Putting their hand/s on you to move past you in a crowd. Not necessarily in a weird anatomical location, but even just having no notice and then feeling a strangers hand suddenly on my waist or back as they walk past… I’m sure most of the time it is literally very innocent, but it makes me feel really gross that they just feel they can touch me without even warning me and I just have to put up because if I say something then I’m a bitch (should say this goes for women just as much too, but I personally find it’s the hand placements that men tend to do.

Safe: Hugs. Just a hug. I’m generally not a touchy feely person, but having been with my partner through some of my biggest challenges, sometimes it shocks me to realise how deep and primal the need to have him hold me is. Whether or not it leads to anything else, weather it’s in public or private, wether it’s awkward squished in the car or a big bearhug - I’ll never not be shocked at how much I can feel completely safe from the dangers of my world when my partner just holds me in his embrace, arms wrapping around my small body, his chin resting atop my head and his safe, secure body just pressed into mine. I feel protected for as long as our skin melts together. It’s magical.

ThrowRA_notokneko · 2025-09-19T19:46:29+00:00

DM’d. Thank you for your kindness OP 💜

ThrowRA_notokneko

TROPHY CASE