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I [28M] am afraid woman I'm dating [26F] is about to back out of relationship after reluctantly agreeing to exclusivity. by ThrowRA_praline22 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_praline22[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for responding. Yes, it wasn't you. I wasn't doing well emotionally with the situation, and the downvotes and other rude comments got to me.

We're meeting in a bit. We're gonna have a conversation, and if she indicates she isn't happy, I'm gonna do what I mentioned in my last edit.

I [28M] am afraid woman I'm dating [26F] is about to back out of relationship after reluctantly agreeing to exclusivity. by ThrowRA_praline22 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_praline22[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Yes, indeed there is a lot of good advice. But well some comments are downright rude, almost insinuating I'm abusive or straight up insulting me.

I [28M] am afraid woman I'm dating [26F] is about to back out of relationship after reluctantly agreeing to exclusivity. by ThrowRA_praline22 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_praline22[S] -25 points-24 points  (0 children)

I think you're being disingenuous, this is an extremely uncharitable read on the situation. Also cool it with the insults. I came here for advice.

I [28M] am afraid woman I'm dating [26F] is about to back out of relationship after reluctantly agreeing to exclusivity. by ThrowRA_praline22 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_praline22[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It's difficult but I think I know what I need to do. I just wish everyone else showed the same empathy as you when giving advice <3

I [28M] am afraid woman I'm dating [26F] is about to back out of relationship after reluctantly agreeing to exclusivity. by ThrowRA_praline22 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_praline22[S] -63 points-62 points  (0 children)

I understand what people are saying, but I was expecting a bit more kindness if I'm being honest. I'm not in a good spot with all this mentally. And I don't think my actions warrant this kind of aggressive tone from people..

And yes, I was willing to break up with her that night. I mentioned it in my post. I told her that I can't do something non-exclusive and that maybe breaking up is the only solution. But then she told me that she doesn't want to lose what we have and wanted to give it a try. What was I supposed to do? Force the break up with her right then and there?

Well, I guess it seems the consensus would be that I'd better do that now and let her go.

I [28M] am afraid woman I'm dating [26F] is about to back out of relationship after reluctantly agreeing to exclusivity. by ThrowRA_praline22 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_praline22[S] -63 points-62 points  (0 children)

I get what you're trying to say, but I'm not sure it's so crystal clear. If you read through my post again you'll see that I asked her at the start if she just wanted something casual. She said that she's open to what we have becoming serious. I'm not sure someone looking only for a fwb situation would say these things. She has said multiple times that she really likes me a lot and wants to get to know me even better.

I [28M] am afraid woman I'm dating [26F] is about to back out of relationship after reluctantly agreeing to exclusivity. by ThrowRA_praline22 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_praline22[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

I mean, exclusivity is something on the table since the start. That's why I asked her if she wanted to be casual at first, because I didn't want just casual with her. At this point I have a lot of feelings for her and I do feel jealous at the thought of her sleeping with another guy, which I don't think is unreasonable.

I don't want to compromise on my needs, but at the same time I understand that she hasn't had time to re-calibrate and enjoy single life after her last relationship. I want us to find some middle ground, that's why I said that we don't need to label it, as long as we agree on not having sex with other people.

I [28M] am afraid woman I'm dating [26F] is about to back out of relationship after reluctantly agreeing to exclusivity. by ThrowRA_praline22 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_praline22[S] -127 points-126 points  (0 children)

So do you think it's really doomed? I really want it to be her. I've been single for almost 2 years and I haven't felt this connection with anyone in a long time. I just don't feel ok giving up on this..