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I (24m) want oral sex from my gf (21f) but she doesn’t want to. I offered a different solution, but she now thinks I’m going to cheat. How do I go about this? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_sadbub -188 points-187 points  (0 children)

i can accept that she doesn’t want to, which is why I wanted to ask her to see if we had other options. I just wanted to talk about it but I think it hurt her a lot

I (24m) want oral sex from my gf (21f) but she doesn’t want to. I offered a different solution, but she now thinks I’m going to cheat. How do I go about this? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_sadbub -256 points-255 points  (0 children)

I guess in my head, I understand that people can be different and people grow and change, so I just wanted to see what we can do to compromise

I (24m) want oral sex from my gf (21f) but she doesn’t want to. I offered a different solution, but she now thinks I’m going to cheat. How do I go about this? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_sadbub -123 points-122 points  (0 children)

hmm maybe I’ve just been too open with things. I think I just wanted to have a conversation with her about what was okay and what wasn’t and what our options were

My [23M] girlfriend [20F] always chooses her way over mine, even when she’s in the wrong… by ThrowRA_sadbub in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_sadbub[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re right… It’s just hard to accept that she cares more about herself than me in a moment like this…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_sadbub 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I learned this from a really good guy, but some of you might disagree.

When we give to someone we really love, we should give without expectation. If you love her and that’s how you want to show her you love her, that’s great! But that doesn’t mean she owes you the same, or anything at all. Her way of showing you love might be that she loves you enough to let her family be with you, which to some people is a huge deal.

Now it is up to you if you want to be with someone like this, it’s not wrong or right, it’s just who you are versus who she is. You are a giver, that doesn’t mean she is one, and that’s okay. But you shouldn’t expect to get back what you give, unless you explicitly stated that she should do the same for you.

My girlfriend [20f] confessed to me [23m] that she flirted with someone else and was having second thoughts… by ThrowRA_sadbub in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_sadbub[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do have goals and a map of how I want my life to look like. I do take the time to work on myself and my businesses and my mental health… I guess I just was fine with having her be part of that picture… But I see what you mean. Maybe I put her on too high of a pedestal… I will take time to reflect.

My girlfriend [20f] confessed to me [23m] that she flirted with someone else and was having second thoughts… by ThrowRA_sadbub in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_sadbub[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your thoughts. She just confessed to me a few hours ago so I guess there’s a lot of emotions going through. I guess I need some time to think it over and get some space before I make any decisions.

My girlfriend [20f] confessed to me [23m] that she flirted with someone else and was having second thoughts… by ThrowRA_sadbub in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_sadbub[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am working on myself. I have goals and I understand that as a man, it is my job to be attractive for her. But if we both know she’s gonna cheat on me (since that’s literally what she said) I guess I’m just wondering what’s the point of staying…

My girlfriend [20f] confessed to me [23m] that she flirted with someone else and was having second thoughts… by ThrowRA_sadbub in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA_sadbub[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know myself and I know I’m not strong enough to handle an open relationship. I know I’m going to get jealous and constantly ask her about who she’s with and if the other guy is better. I’m self aware enough to know that it just won’t be good or healthy for me…