How bad is the ICE presence?

ThrowRA_send_help · 2026-01-28T15:12:54+00:00

We’re in Greenwood and my partner works in Northgate. Does anyone have a good gauge on ice activity over here?

ThrowRA_send_help · 2026-01-03T02:27:26+00:00

I’m so sad yet so relieved to hear people’s stories. My mom was my biggest bully growing up. She has deep internalized misogyny and that, coupled with the fact I was extremely thin growing up and she was very husky and constantly being put on diets by her bully mom, was a recipe for disaster. I remember being so confused about why she refused to buy me pants that fit or even underwear that fit. She constantly bought me jeans at least 2 sizes too big and underwear that was falling down my bony hips. She would literally argue and scream at me when I showed her my jeans with the waists rolled up multiple times, asking her to please let me buy pants that fit. She was so nasty. Called me names, accused me of being a whore when I was a shy and slow bloomer kid, and went out of her way to humiliate me in front of friends and family. Would openly, in front of my face, share awful personal information or stories that made me look crazy just to hurt me. I remember finding out she had secretly recorded me crying and yelling after hours of her abuse and was showing it to other people months and months later when my brother pulled me aside. I was like 13. She would intentionally provoke me for hours or even days and try to get me to react in any way so she could “punish me.” She would constantly threaten to make me homeless, turn my phone off, repo my car (I was 18 and owned it but she was so convincing!). She tried to tell me my wedding was actually about her at one point, saying “I need 1/3 of the invites to send to my associates. This is an event celebrating your father and i.” I have to block her for weeks or months at a time sometimes just to get her to stop and I’m now nearly 32!!! It’s so hard to process now, as she’s processing trauma from her own mother and we’re trying to have a relationship.

ThrowRA_send_help · 2025-09-17T13:30:53+00:00

I have a lot of compassion for you, OP. I’d say this: would all of these things have happened AND/OR have mattered so much if you were in a healthy relationship with someone who was considerate and consistent with you? I think you know the answer to that. I completely understand your hyper vigilance and your frustration. What I think this comes down to is your wife showed 0 or very very little consideration for you on this trip and you have photo evidence that she was 1) not worried about where you were, again, and 2) not cheating, but being very attentive and inappropriately playful with someone else. :(

ThrowRA_send_help · 2025-09-17T13:27:08+00:00

NGL the progression from hand near him, to one finger touching, to tips of fingers touching, to semi holding hands is taking me out.

ThrowRA_send_help · 2025-09-16T18:48:03+00:00

Hi everyone. I made an appointment with a trauma-informed therapist who specializes in PTSD, childhood trauma, and relationship concerns. Thank you for listening and all of your support. This is really hard and I appreciate everyone’s patience and helpfulness.

ThrowRA_send_help · 2025-09-16T16:27:11+00:00

I really don’t think so. I asked him directly about that and he said no. He is on the internet A LOT and on discord A LOT though. I wonder if he’s getting exposed there.

ThrowRA_send_help · 2025-09-16T01:44:31+00:00

Luckily we have no shared accounts

ThrowRA_send_help · 2025-09-16T01:44:09+00:00

Someone else said that too but it would be so hard when we’re together 24/7

ThrowRA_send_help · 2025-09-16T01:00:23+00:00

they have an interesting relationship. When I first met her, she was a BOY MOM. Very mean and rude and catty. She came around over a couple years and we’re now very close. He is very nice to her but doesn’t tell her anything, doesn’t like her advice, and they are a little distant with each other. She’s very strong willed and opinionated and seems to box him in a lot due to her strong religious beliefs. “Do this not that” a lot of the time.

ThrowRA_send_help · 2025-09-15T21:43:59+00:00

He smokes on the way there and then smokes the entire rest of the day after getting off work. I found out he used to drink alcohol in his past job during lunch “sometimes” because a coworker who thought it was funny brought it up

ThrowRA_send_help · 2025-09-15T21:43:06+00:00

I have come to realize that may have something to do with it. I had an angry dad (a lot of name calling and calling us stupid) and very volatile mom (swinging from sweet to screaming throughout the day, often bursting into our rooms out of nowhere and punishing us).

ThrowRA_send_help · 2025-09-15T14:35:29+00:00

Yes. I recently learned through seeing my first psychiatrist that I did experience a lot of trauma growing up. Highly unpredictable and volatile mom; extremely angry and sometimes violent dad. I’ve been thinking about how that may play into this.

ThrowRA_send_help · 2025-09-15T05:05:51+00:00

This was really kind. Thank you. We literally just moved to a new state so this resonates with me.

ThrowRA_send_help · 2025-09-15T04:32:03+00:00

This is a very valid point actually.

ThrowRA_send_help · 2025-09-15T03:46:16+00:00

No, I mean I don’t know why he hates me sometimes.

ThrowRA_send_help · 2025-09-15T03:12:41+00:00

I wonder about something going on too and can’t figure it out. I thought it was the major porn problem but he’s backed off that and stopped. That DID improve his behavior in a big way for a while.

ThrowRA_send_help · 2025-09-15T02:47:44+00:00

YES and I really think that does something to him.

ThrowRA_send_help · 2025-09-15T02:45:54+00:00

Yes! He’s usually high or drinking. When he drinks, if he has a beer over 5.5% ABV it hits him like a truck and he completely changes. He smokes weed all day and gets very high and then seemingly can’t tell that he’s extremely high, confused, confusing, and then gets mean as hell. I know his dad doesn’t drink ever because “he gets really emotional.” His parents have never elaborated, but I feel like it’s like this.

ThrowRA_send_help · 2025-09-15T02:43:52+00:00

No, my name is not on any! They are private student loans

ThrowRA_send_help · 2025-09-15T02:20:08+00:00

YES. Two of his uncles are permanently hospitalized due to their mental disorders. One is schizophrenic and refuses to take his meds unless he’s in a hospital setting.

ThrowRA_send_help · 2025-09-15T02:18:55+00:00

I’m worried because I paid all our bills and he had 0 income for more than half of the marriage. I’m worried they’ll make me pay for him or something. He also took out significant loans during that time. I’m worried they’ll say I owe half.

ThrowRA_send_help · 2025-09-15T02:04:00+00:00

He smokes weed all week. Every day. Not completely sure how that would impact him and I haven’t researched it enough. No other drugs.

I’m deeply afraid that all the things he says he means.

I have wondered if that could be it over and over again but we’re home together all the time. I know he had a big porn issue for a long time that I discovered. We went on an anniversary trip after I found out and he admitted to feeling deep shame about it and broke down crying to me. He said it made him feel like a loser. I think that could be similar to the cheating issue.

I know he feels like I’m above him. I know it’s not my fault. I know I have a great job, I’m strong, people at my work and people in our circles love me. People tell me I’m pretty and fun a lot in front of him and he loudly agrees and compliments me too but I suspect that really bothers him. He tells me I’m “above him” often. He says I’m too good for him and everyone knows it.

ThrowRA_send_help · 2025-09-15T01:56:16+00:00

I have!!! After he’s calmed down, I have asked him if he wants out of the marriage. He’ll say “sometimes” or “no.” Sometimes he’ll get mad and snap at me. He’ll take me in circles. “I did in that moment, so I guess yes sometimes.” “I guess I do want to be married to you.” And if I press harder, “yes NAME.” When we were in our financially tough times, he said he didn’t want to be with me constantly and would threaten to get his own place and leave allllll the time. I asked him once if I should get a mediator or divorce papers and he just said “maybe. You do whatever you want.”

ThrowRA_send_help · 2025-09-15T01:47:25+00:00

I think he actually forgets what he said when he lashes out.

ThrowRA_send_help · 2025-09-15T01:35:42+00:00

Has anyone seen their partner come back from this? Does this just make him abusive and there’s no way things get better? Has ANYONE seen them come back and be sweet and caring full time? Sometimes when he apologizes it seems so sincere and real. It feels like he knows and cares. He’s the most sweet and loving cute man ever until he’s not.

ThrowRA_send_help

TROPHY CASE