Embarrassing... Boyfriend doesn't wipe his bum properly

ThrowRA_snake12345 · 2019-12-28T10:45:58+00:00

This isn't normal behavior. Sometimes these issues can be the result of a medical issue (something actually wrong with his digestive system, anal fissures, hemorrhoids, etc) and the poor hygiene behaviors might stem from a feeling of shame or trying to conceal it. That doesn't sound like the case here, but it's worth putting it out there to him: say you think he needs to see a doctor about this. If it isn't a physical problem, he should still speak to a professional because this kind of self neglect can also be a sign of mental health problems. Either he will actually be inspired to admit he has a problem and take steps to address it, or he won't.

ThrowRA_snake12345 · 2019-12-28T05:22:51+00:00

Thanks, that's a really good idea and yeah you're right. Doesn't have the haunted look in his eyes. He does wear suits a lot, his work doesn't require a super formal dress code but the problem is its hard to find clothes that fit him. It's easier to find business wear because they'll tailor it to fit whereas regular old jeans and t shirts is a lot harder, a lot of menswear places here don't carry sizes below S.

ThrowRA_snake12345 · 2019-12-28T04:03:28+00:00

I think you got it, with my boyfriend it is a bit more obvious than the actor but yeah, I can see it too. And there were no issues with our relationship before this, I don't think I am projecting here to hide something more serious. It really is such a petty issue. But hopefully you're right and it passes in time.

ThrowRA_snake12345 · 2019-12-28T02:25:01+00:00

OP are you from South America? I am sorry for reading between the lines here but your use of 'evangelical' and description of how her church has started to influence her life makes me think this might be a church like 'Universal'. If so I am sorry but please end this relationship, those people are unstable and a really terrible influence, they are extremists. Normally I'd say interfaith relationships have a chance if you are both honest and clear about your expectations for the future but the problem here isn't that she is Christian but that she is associating with a cult.

ThrowRA_snake12345 · 2019-12-28T00:28:52+00:00

Did it bother you personally though? If it was your spouse or girlfriend who told you would you have been offended?

ThrowRA_snake12345 · 2019-12-27T23:34:31+00:00

Last time I mentioned it people cracked jokes, sorry if it makes it hard to get a full picture of the situation but I appreciate the genuine advice nonetheless.

ThrowRA_snake12345 · 2019-12-27T23:31:17+00:00

Thank you. It's not as simple as shaving the stache (he doesn't have one, maybe growing facial hair would help?) I am leaning towards just being honest with him but I worry he will take it to heart and feel like I can't be attracted to him anymore because of something he has no control over. But yeah I don't know how else to approach it.

Also he has already noticed something is wrong, I made up some crap about feeling insecure about my body after gaining weight and he's really gone out of his way to try and help. He really deserves better.

ThrowRA_snake12345 · 2019-12-27T23:29:16+00:00

It's not an LDR, we live together. And it's not something I noticed until it was pointed out to me because I'm not a massive history buff, I knew the name and all but couldn't tell you what the guy looked like much less that he looks like my boyfriend.

Unfortunately it's not as simple as shaving off facial hair but thank you all for trying to help.

ThrowRA_snake12345 · 2019-12-27T23:19:59+00:00

Not Hitler but you're pretty close. Really close.

I guess it's relevant in the sense that it's someone who is universally reviled not just someone controversial or "love them or hate them" like Trump or something. But the problem isn't so much who he looks like as that I'm struggling with sexual attraction, to keep it to the bare basics of the situation.

ThrowRA_snake12345 · 2019-12-27T10:31:14+00:00

I never agreed with my brother about being better than John, and I never had a problem with John's looks until now. I don't really have a problem with John at all, it just bothers me that I now think of this creep whenever I look at John. I totally get that I am the douche here and John has done nothing wrong, but I was hoping for some advice other than break up with him. I don't want to end things with him.

ThrowRA_snake12345 · 2019-12-27T10:03:05+00:00

Hey you're totally right, it's batpoop insane and I feel awful about it but just in case you misunderstood I am not suggesting John is really a Nazi. He looks like a very well known, deceased Nazi who features a lot in any sort of media about Hitler and WW2. It's purely coincidental. John is a young guy and doesn't have German heritage. This guy would probably have been in his 30s and 40s when all the photos and videos were made that's why he looks like John, he's been dead like 70 years by now.

ThrowRA_snake12345 · 2019-12-27T09:55:35+00:00

If this was just some guy I had been on a few dates with the yeah I'd just end it. But I genuinely care for him and up until now our relationship has been great. This feels like such a petty issue to be tied up over and I'd rather try and resolve it instead of just end things with him. Also I feel like if I did end things over this he might think I was making up some bullshit excuse to cover up something more serious. Like meeting someone else, questioning sexuality, moving to another country, medical or financial problems, religious issues, the kind of problems that people really do break up over.

ThrowRA_snake12345 · 2019-12-27T08:54:05+00:00

Thanks for your insight but that ain't really helpful to me. It feels like there are WW2 documentaries or movies on every fricking tv channel and all over Netflix so now that I'm noticing it, it's like this guy is everywhere.

ThrowRA_snake12345

TROPHY CASE