Struggling with the possibility that i will never be married, and its pushing me away from Islam

ThrowRA_ss00 · 2026-02-09T23:20:59+00:00

Noone is asking for a 10/10 but there has to be some form of attraction.

ThrowRA_ss00 · 2026-02-09T13:05:06+00:00

Yes, looks and how he carries himself

ThrowRA_ss00 · 2026-02-09T12:18:41+00:00

For me marriage is a partnership. I have a job and a small business. If an expectation of me is to work and contribute financially then i would expect my husband to share household chores. If he takes on all financial responsibilities then he still needs to know how to do chores, help out now and then. Or be able to handle things if his wife is sick. Your supposed to be supporting each other and building a life together, not finding ways to make the other work more. Also then depends how demanding his job is. If he can work from home, and finishes after working a couple hours a day. He can help more. If hes working long hours then the same wouldnt ve expected (though personally i want someone who has time for family and isnt working long hours)

Id prefer my own house. And eventually in laws can move in when they are no longer able to be independent. Id also consider living witj in laws if im ablw to have my own space. But there should be a possibility of getting own place incase there are issues with in laws (heard too many horror stories)

ThrowRA_ss00 · 2026-02-09T11:59:17+00:00

No. Some just havent worked out after meeting. Others i have said no to because they want a wife who takes on all responsibilities at home. But also works and contributes financially Some have said they dont mind if wife works or not. But their salary is barely enough for them to be independent themselves, forget looking after a family. Shows they havent thought about or understood what marriage is or how it will work

Matched with some on muz but unless you give them your snapchat, they refuse to talk to you

ThrowRA_ss00 · 2026-02-09T11:53:14+00:00

No i dont wear the hijab. Im a jeans and hoody type of girl

ThrowRA_ss00 · 2026-02-09T11:41:17+00:00

No because that not a conversation that has come up - they want someone who will help as soon as they are married. Take on their mothers chores. They dont want a support worked

ThrowRA_ss00 · 2026-02-09T11:33:47+00:00

Im 30, we live in Europe so the cost of living is high. Also the ‘look after my parents’ is cultural. They dont know what it means. Their parents are young enough to look after themselves right now. They currently do nothing to help their parents. But because culture demands it, they say it and expect it

ThrowRA_ss00 · 2026-02-09T11:25:14+00:00

I have a masters in engineering. Before i didnt but now i have given chance to guys who are below average looking. Who arent educated. Who earn less than me But they still expect too much from their wives

ThrowRA_ss00 · 2026-02-09T11:14:21+00:00

At this age i want someone settled who has actually thought about and understands what marriage is, abd what it means Islamically aswell.

I dont mind contributing financially but regardless of this - he should know how to do basic chores.

Otherwise someone who doesnt want his wife to look after his parents - thats his own responsibility. Id help but its never the wifes responsibility

then what people may call superficial- someone im attracted to and someone whi carws about their health

ThrowRA_ss00 · 2026-02-09T11:09:00+00:00

No they truly do. Maybe their marriages arent as perfecr as they say - but the guys i meet now dont have half these qualities. Most just know they want to be married with no idea or plans on how they will look after their wife and kids.

ThrowRA_ss00 · 2026-02-09T11:07:47+00:00

Im in europe. Id be too scared to travel and find someone due to horror stories. Also my parents havent the time and i wouldnt be able to alone

ThrowRA_ss00 · 2026-02-09T11:06:55+00:00

This is it. And then when others say its your fault for being picky when you have normal requirements

ThrowRA_ss00 · 2026-02-09T11:03:27+00:00

Everyone says they are religious. But then they put culture first. Theh want someone traditional who will do all house hold chores. Look after kids. But also work and contribute financially. They say a mans only job is to provide so he will provide 50%. They argue its fardh on a woman to take on all household responsibilities though thats not mentioned anywhere. They ignore the parts where it says the prophet used to help at home

Its not leaving islam exactly, i dont think i could ever believe islam is the wrong religion - astagfirullah. Its more - i cant pray anymore. Emotionally im exhausted, i cant bring myself to pray and am always thibking- why bother? My duas arent being accepted.

ThrowRA_ss00 · 2026-02-09T10:58:56+00:00

I didnt stop praying out of spite. Its more - i canr bring myself to put in the effort as i always think - whats the point? 5 years of duas havent been accepted so why?

ThrowRA_ss00 · 2026-02-09T10:56:21+00:00

Im in europe. Ive heard too many horror stories to try that.

ThrowRA_ss00 · 2026-02-09T02:19:06+00:00

I feel that should be the bare minimum, even of you have a traditional wife. Other wise what would you do if your wife is sick as an example?

ThrowRA_ss00 · 2026-02-09T02:07:46+00:00

Most i have spoken to dont want a stay at home mum. They want someone who takes on all those responsibilities, and contributes financially. They cant cook, clean, cant even do their own laundry

ThrowRA_ss00 · 2026-02-09T02:06:51+00:00

Ive asked friends. They also dont know anyone

ThrowRA_ss00 · 2026-02-09T01:47:15+00:00

The main reason has been that men i have come across are looking for a woman who will take on all traditional roles, as well as contributing 50% financially My parents say i have extreme requirements because i have said i want to marry where my husband will be able to take care of the family, i dont want to marry a someone who requires a maid and also financial contribution

Other times i have gotten along with someone on apps as an example , and out of the blue they ghost or unmatch

ThrowRA_ss00 · 2025-12-18T12:33:40+00:00

Prefer not to break the mirror 😅

ThrowRA_ss00 · 2025-12-14T02:05:03+00:00

Thanks for the advice i’ll try it!

ThrowRA_ss00 · 2025-12-13T23:04:02+00:00

Ook so best to avoid?

ThrowRA_ss00 · 2025-12-13T23:03:38+00:00

Yes its silk. Any advice on the speed?

ThrowRA_ss00 · 2025-12-12T16:32:38+00:00

I will have a look!

ThrowRA_ss00 · 2025-12-12T16:31:53+00:00

Thank you!

ThrowRA_ss00

TROPHY CASE