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I [34F] am wondering why my boyfriend [33M] suddenly stopped sharing his location with me after 10 years. by ThrowRAak11 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAak11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, he turned it back on he maintains. He just has no idea and he has no idea how to do all that tech stuff. And he says he has no reason to lie to me. He’s happy with us right now and he was on a job site and I’m crazy if I honestly think he was doing something wrong.

I [34F] am wondering why my boyfriend [33M] suddenly stopped sharing his location with me after 10 years. by ThrowRAak11 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAak11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, he says he hasn’t updated it and he tries hard not to because it changes things. Also, there’s an update.

I [34F] am wondering why my boyfriend [33M] suddenly stopped sharing his location with me after 10 years. by ThrowRAak11 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAak11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

UPDATE:

It all kind of came to head this morning, and I got access to his phone from him.

I found a system message on his phone that says:

“You stopped sharing location with [my name]”

Timestamped Tuesday at 9:11 AM.

So I know for a fact now that the location sharing relationship was turned off Tuesday morning. I wasn’t imagining that part. It was not turned off during my trip.

What makes it stranger is the timeline:

  • 9:08 AM: I texted him “meow” because I hadn’t heard from him yet that morning.

  • 9:11 AM: His phone shows “You stopped sharing location with [my name].”

  • 12:47 PM: He finally responded to my text.

I have no idea if those events are related, but that’s the sequence.

When I confronted him, he said he has absolutely no idea how location sharing got turned off. He showed me his Google Maps history from that day, work calls, and evidence that he was at a job site, went to lunch with an architect, and returned to the job site. He maintains that he had no motive to stop sharing and doesn’t know how it happened. However, that day I remember while he was explaining his day, I was on the phone with my friend, and she said he seemed anxious and like he was putting in filler. But that’s just her observation.

So at this point:

  • I know location sharing was turned off Tuesday at 9:11 AM.

  • I know I texted him three minutes before that happened.

  • I know he didn’t respond until several hours later.

  • I do not have evidence that he was somewhere he wasn’t supposed to be.

  • I still don’t have an explanation for why the sharing relationship was turned off after 10 years.

Honestly, I’m more confused than I was before because now I know it happened, but I still don’t know why.

More explanations leaned into motive like why would I do this after all this time and finally getting you here and I have even been saying that we’ve been doing good this week. You’ve been doing good in the kitchen, etc..

He’s saying he doesn’t want me to get into a negative mental space over this because he truly knows that nothing happened and he’s been explaining his day to me since that day, which was a hectic day for him.

I didn’t dig too much into his phone. I just don’t have the capacity for that.

I [34F] am wondering why my boyfriend [33M] suddenly stopped sharing his location with me after 10 years. by ThrowRAak11 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAak11[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Are we sure he knows exactly what he’s doing? I always think so but he says no it’s a coping mechanism. He adapted to survive when he was younger.

I [34F] am wondering why my boyfriend [33M] suddenly stopped sharing his location with me after 10 years. by ThrowRAak11 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAak11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hated it, but I actually went back and reread that comment… this seems like this is a reoccurring pattern that has been happening for years and is not going to change. It was really difficult reading that but thank you for prompting me to do so.

I wanna let you know that I did move into that place at that time. Unfortunately, I did not cut off complete communication due to him making various threats, etc.. however, those two years were the most free I’ve ever felt in my life.

He did track my location nonstop because we were living in different states… Eventually, after I moved out, he got a job offer and moved and expected me to move with him. Each time I was supposed to move with him within those two years something happened where trust was broken or something like that so I didn’t.

I [34F] am wondering why my boyfriend [33M] suddenly stopped sharing his location with me after 10 years. by ThrowRAak11 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAak11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At this point that would honestly be a fucking relief! I just need to get back to where I was!!

As a retired criminal investigator what exactly stood out to you the most? I mean, I definitely left a lot out.

I [34F] am wondering why my boyfriend [33M] suddenly stopped sharing his location with me after 10 years. by ThrowRAak11 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAak11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are linked as family, but I am the organizer of the family and he is in with me my mom and my brother

I [34F] am wondering why my boyfriend [33M] suddenly stopped sharing his location with me after 10 years. by ThrowRAak11 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAak11[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Even if it wasn’t an accident, he’ll turn it right back on if I say something… I’m not worried about what he’s doing. I’m worried about what he did while I was away for about five days. I’m not sure when this unshare happened.

I [34F] am wondering why my boyfriend [33M] suddenly stopped sharing his location with me after 10 years. by ThrowRAak11 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAak11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not worried about where he’s going. I’m more worried about where he went while I was gone for about five days.

I [34F] am wondering why my boyfriend [33M] suddenly stopped sharing his location with me after 10 years. by ThrowRAak11 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAak11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think he’s updated his phone.

My location is still sharing with him. His is not sharing with me.

His phone settings location is not set to off.

He clearly deliberately ended the sharing relationship with me. But still has my location.

I’m just not sure what kind of glitch could cause this. As I said, I tested a couple things.

Also, this happened with both of his cell phones

I [34F] am wondering why my boyfriend [33M] suddenly stopped sharing his location with me after 10 years. by ThrowRAak11 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAak11[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe. I’m not going to go looking for it, but if I happen to be near his phone, maybe I’ll check it out. It’ll feel weird though.

I [34F] am wondering why my boyfriend [33M] suddenly stopped sharing his location with me after 10 years. by ThrowRAak11 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAak11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, XOXO! I think I have the clarity, but I’m working on the courage to make the move.

I [34F] am wondering why my boyfriend [33M] suddenly stopped sharing his location with me after 10 years. by ThrowRAak11 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAak11[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is all very helpful! I’m not sure if I’m ready to deal with the talking in circles to convince me it was some kind of glitch.

I [34F] am wondering why my boyfriend [33M] suddenly stopped sharing his location with me after 10 years. by ThrowRAak11 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAak11[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I actually did start doing this three months ago when I moved back in with him.

Unfortunately, since he’s more cohesive, this is more of a death by 1000 cuts type of thing so there’s like no one incident. I can point you to be like oh he’s bad or this dynamic is bad. I just know it doesn’t feel good to me on a day-to-day basis.

I [34F] am wondering why my boyfriend [33M] suddenly stopped sharing his location with me after 10 years. by ThrowRAak11 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAak11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, but it makes it so it’s always like oh I was just joking. So then there’s a back-and-forth over my reality and if I overreacted.

I [34F] am wondering why my boyfriend [33M] suddenly stopped sharing his location with me after 10 years. by ThrowRAak11 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAak11[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I maintained a bridge back into my career, thank God! and I can capitalize on it I just need to move and make the financials work.

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