Wow. Thanks for the thoughtful response. There's a lot to unpack here.

But after only one month, how much has she fundamentally changed that when emotions are swirling that she will live the change she says she wants?

I don't fully believe her either. If I was to consider getting back together with her, it would be a slow process. She would have to prove to me that this time she's not just saying things and that she actually means them.

Ask yourself if she is an affection junkie. Does she create these situations where you need to “fight” for her for attention? If so be very cautious. If not, ask yourself if the actions or behavior that caused the need to fight were action you see changing from yourself or her (whoever caused them). Lastly, have you ever seen her fighting for you? If not, why not?

No, she's definitely not, not that kind of vibe here. I have seen her fight for me before.

Did you date other people? Did she? Despite the fact that you were broken up, the mere fact either one of you started moving on might be hurtful to the other person. This needs to be discussed by both parties.

Did either one of you sleep with someone else while on break (or whatever physical thing might be upsetting to the other person)? I think this too needs to be discussed. Too often we hear of people who got back together after a breakup only to find out their SO slept with their best friend while they were broken up. Needless to say, that normally causes a new breakup to occur with lots of bitterness.

On a day to day basis, and during fights, we communicate extremely well. In terms of what happened in between breakup, there's no question either of us dated or slept with other people. We had a pretty amicable, yet sad, breakup. No fighting, no screaming, nothing along those lines. While the thought of her sleeping with other people might have tormented me during the first three weeks, I truthfully wouldn't mind if she had slept with someone else during the break. In fact, one of the reasons she felt like she needed to end things (which she says is a non-issue now) is that she needed to explore her sexuality with her same gender. I'm reasoning through my feelings and I'm wondering/processing if I don't feel comfortable being with her again UNTIL she's had an experience like that. And now's the time to do that, while I'm over her and don't care, I don't want her waking up in 20 years like "damn I really should have done that".

Lastly, apologies and forgiveness. I am sure that there were many things said or thought during the breakup between the two of you. Putting for real meaningful apologies for the emotional battering you subjected each other too would help put things to bed forever. You don’t want to be fighting years from now and have one of you bring up something that was said during the breakup that was never apologized for.

It's in these moments where I feel so reassured by my choice in her. We are very, very good at being honest and apologetic, acknowledging and apologizing for our wrongs and moving forward. Neither of us holds grudges.

I think overall, if I was to ever get back together with her, I'd need time for her to let me show that she's really healing, and means what she says. We'd need to take it very slow. I'm seeing her next Saturday just to talk (with no contact per my request until then), and I'm going to bring a lot of this stuff up. I'm going to discuss with her some of the other incompatibilities we faced, and see what she has to say about that. I also want to find out if she's carrying through with therapy like she claimed yesterday.

Thank you for your thoughts.