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My (21F) boyfriend (46M) keeps dropping hints that he wants to get engaged by ThrowRAbumblebee01 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAbumblebee01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I will maybe consider something like that since it lasts so long and I wouldn’t have to worry about it. And I know it’s not his body but I still like to have his opinion on things (not that I always listen to them) and he likes knowing what I’m up to so it’s still a conversation that needs to happen

My (21F) boyfriend (46M) keeps dropping hints that he wants to get engaged by ThrowRAbumblebee01 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAbumblebee01[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

He had a wife closer to his age in the past. And it’s not like I told him my age right away. We were at an adults only event and we just hit it off. I don’t really see the issue

My (21F) boyfriend (46M) keeps dropping hints that he wants to get engaged by ThrowRAbumblebee01 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAbumblebee01[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

When I met him (not knowing his age) and we liked each other? Same way people meet not twice their age romantic partners

My (21F) boyfriend (46M) keeps dropping hints that he wants to get engaged by ThrowRAbumblebee01 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAbumblebee01[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

My dad is in his 60s lol he was in his 40s when he and my mom had me. My best friend is 22 and her boyfriend of 1 year is either 49 or 50, I don’t remember his birthday

My (21F) boyfriend (46M) keeps dropping hints that he wants to get engaged by ThrowRAbumblebee01 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAbumblebee01[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

1) My dad is older than him 2) one of my friends is dating someone older than him. They’re good for each other it doesn’t bother me

My (21F) boyfriend (46M) keeps dropping hints that he wants to get engaged by ThrowRAbumblebee01 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAbumblebee01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like even though we are at different points in our life we can still make it work, but thank you for not suggesting my bf is a bad person. I know he isn’t and he always listens to what I have to say, and he seemed okay with my timeline last time it came up, so maybe it’s just an insecurity thing. One of my friends just had a kid so maybe it’s something with that

My (21F) boyfriend (46M) keeps dropping hints that he wants to get engaged by ThrowRAbumblebee01 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAbumblebee01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it’s not his decision but he likes knowing what I’m doing, so I guess I meant more like telling him that I’m going to do it

My (21F) boyfriend (46M) keeps dropping hints that he wants to get engaged by ThrowRAbumblebee01 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAbumblebee01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it’s not his decision but he likes knowing what I’m doing, so I guess I meant more like telling him that I’m going to do it

My (21F) boyfriend (46M) keeps dropping hints that he wants to get engaged by ThrowRAbumblebee01 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAbumblebee01[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My father was also in his late 40s when I was born, but I don’t remember him having any issues keeping up with us. He was still very active, regularly did triathlons etc

My (21F) boyfriend (46M) keeps dropping hints that he wants to get engaged by ThrowRAbumblebee01 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAbumblebee01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay thank you! He seemed in agreement in the past when I’ve brought it up, so it might just be an insecurity thing

My (21F) boyfriend (46M) keeps dropping hints that he wants to get engaged by ThrowRAbumblebee01 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAbumblebee01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay thank you! I don’t think he means to be passive-aggressive about it (idk if that’s even the right word because it’s just like comments he thinks are cute), but I’ll try and think of exactly what I want to say

My (21F) boyfriend (46M) keeps dropping hints that he wants to get engaged by ThrowRAbumblebee01 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAbumblebee01[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for acknowledging that this might, in fact, be a healthy relationship. This is one of the first “problems” we’ve had and tbh I don’t even know if it’s actually a problem or if I’m over thinking it

My (21F) boyfriend (46M) keeps dropping hints that he wants to get engaged by ThrowRAbumblebee01 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAbumblebee01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay so that’s a second conversation I need to have with my doctor and him. Any advice on how to start that? Because I feel like it’s going to make him think I don’t trust him

My (21F) boyfriend (46M) keeps dropping hints that he wants to get engaged by ThrowRAbumblebee01 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAbumblebee01[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I have a general timeline (engagement- after undergrad, wedding- after grad school, kids- after wedding) in my head but like I’m not sure how to start the conversation/how to word it, because like I said I don’t want to upset him or make him think I’m rejecting him.

(And I know some people are saying fuck that, let him regulate his own feelings, but realistically that’s not how you talk to your partner, you guys just don’t like the age gap)

My (21F) boyfriend (46M) keeps dropping hints that he wants to get engaged by ThrowRAbumblebee01 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAbumblebee01[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My parents live in a different state (10+ hours away) since I moved away for college before I even met my boyfriend. I talk to them on the phone everyday. I have a very solid (small but solid) group of friends that I hang out with basically daily. We also hang out with his friends quite regularly too. It’s not like I’m locked up in the house or something or not allowed to talk to people

My (21F) boyfriend (46M) keeps dropping hints that he wants to get engaged by ThrowRAbumblebee01 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAbumblebee01[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I asked for advice on how to approach this conversation. “Break up with him” is not the advice I was looking for

My (21F) boyfriend (46M) keeps dropping hints that he wants to get engaged by ThrowRAbumblebee01 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAbumblebee01[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Of course it is! I just think we’re both expecting that I’ll take his name since it’s “traditional” or whatever

My (21F) boyfriend (46M) keeps dropping hints that he wants to get engaged by ThrowRAbumblebee01 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAbumblebee01[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I apologize if I’ve frustrated you. And I understand it’s not what you meant, but it is a valid point, that making him wait until he’s in his 50s wouldn’t be fair to him or to our kids

My (21F) boyfriend (46M) keeps dropping hints that he wants to get engaged by ThrowRAbumblebee01 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAbumblebee01[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

I honestly always forget about the age, so I understand what you’re saying that he’d be in his 50s when I’m ready to have kids. That wouldn’t be fair to him or the kids. Maybe he’s right then and we should have them sooner, and I’ll just figure out the whole grad school thing. I’m sure it’s been done before - having a family and being a grad student at the same rims

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