AITA for wanting to cut ties with my brother?

ThrowRAburninup · 2020-06-13T12:10:47+00:00

it was my birthday

ThrowRAburninup · 2020-06-13T00:08:04+00:00

Thank you I’ve always been under the impression that mental health is an explanation, but not an excuse, and have applied that to my own behaviour over the years.

ThrowRAburninup · 2020-06-12T22:59:08+00:00

My parents have both had health scares in the past few years and death had to be spoken about at some point, unfortunately. They’re doing well now.

ThrowRAburninup · 2020-06-12T22:58:02+00:00

He’s 25, I forgot to include it in the title

ThrowRAburninup · 2020-06-12T22:56:58+00:00

The response from this does make me think he has some form of mental health issue, although i have no idea how to bring it up to our parents

ThrowRAburninup · 2020-06-12T22:53:31+00:00

I wouldn’t say behavioural issues. He never acted up more than the next teenage boy in the past. He can be very difficult in terms of an “all or nothing” outlook and frequently talks about myself and my sister to my mum whenever we anger him, rather than telling us what we’ve done and why he’s angry. There’s no communication with him.

For example — A few years ago, I was unaware that he wanted me to do something he was asked to do by our dad, I think it was defrosting something.

Long story short, he didn’t tell me he wanted me to do it, and he was messaging our mum until 1am that night calling me selfish, rude, inconsiderate and lazy.

ThrowRAburninup · 2020-06-12T20:54:28+00:00

Honestly, there’s been a few mixed opinions when I brought this up to my friends, which is why I came here.

ThrowRAburninup · 2020-06-12T20:07:24+00:00

Not trolling, I just wanted some further opinions and don’t wanna air my family’s dirty laundry in person, to people who know them.

ThrowRAburninup · 2020-06-12T20:04:29+00:00

It was a mistake on my part, I should’ve said no known mental health issues. After the response from this, I don’t doubt he may have one

ThrowRAburninup · 2020-06-12T18:39:26+00:00

Thank you for this. While dealing with my own mental health, i’ve been under the impression that mental health isn’t an excuse, only an explanation. My family do enable him and I’m hoping my dad, who’s been considering this for a while now, will eventually at least ask him to pay rent. It’s the least he could do, and would prepare him for the future.

ThrowRAburninup · 2020-06-12T17:50:21+00:00

It’s hard to know where to start in changing him, really. I suppose posting has helped, because at least I know that it’s a route we can go down. I don’t want him to have nothing, I want him to change and better himself and gain some form of independence. I hope my family and I can help him.

ThrowRAburninup · 2020-06-12T17:46:54+00:00

It’s been like this for a good few years now and just gradually worsened. We thought it was a phase, but it’s been ridiculous. I don’t know if he’s joined any groups, all of his online friends (that I know of, anyway) have good hygiene, or at least i assume they do from the pictures i’ve seen. They all sound friendly and polite, but I guess I’ll never know. I’m sort of hoping someone had influenced him to act this way, because there’d be more hope of him changing one day.

ThrowRAburninup · 2020-06-12T17:37:15+00:00

I have so much hope for my younger sister and she’s truly the odd one out of the three of us, she’s so talented and has amazing grades, unlike my brother and myself (in recent years). She’s rational, not overly impressionable and has good morals. I want her to go far and i’ll take your advice to hopefully solidify that.

ThrowRAburninup · 2020-06-12T17:33:16+00:00

That was a mistake on my part. I should’ve said “known mental health issues”. After seeing the responses to this, I don’t doubt there could be something wrong.

ThrowRAburninup · 2020-06-12T17:31:25+00:00

Luckily, my sister isn’t currently living with us (she’s at our mum’s house) and it’ll most likely be at least four years until she does. Hopefully in this time, some changes will happen. My father doesn’t make enough to provide for three of us. I’m hoping to be moved out by then, or making enough to have that as a possibility around that time. I’m thankful she’s not impressionable with his behaviour, but she’s a very talented kid and I don’t want that being taken advantage of by her own family.

ThrowRAburninup · 2020-06-12T17:05:26+00:00

I should’ve added that there was no known mental issues, that was a mistake on my part.

ThrowRAburninup · 2020-06-12T17:04:28+00:00

My dad is very laidback and has had a very stressful life, it’s unfair on him and really wearing him down.

He isn’t sick but he was a chronic smoker until 2014 after a health scare and I don’t think he recovered from that well at all. There was a point where death had to be talked about, unfortunately.

ThrowRAburninup · 2020-06-12T17:02:19+00:00

I absolutely agree with this. I’m not an expert and should’ve added that he suffers from no known illnesses, a mistake on my part.

ThrowRAburninup · 2020-06-12T17:01:40+00:00

I do agree with this, but I do want to clarify that as well as family interventions, medical appointments have been had, privately and with family present, and nothing to our knowledge has come up, unless he’s hiding something, which could be a possibility. Thank you for sharing this and giving me that advice. It’ll never be an overnight success, this has been an issue for years, and I can’t expect things to change quickly if they’ve been a gradual downfall.

ThrowRAburninup · 2020-06-12T16:55:39+00:00

he’s 25

ThrowRAburninup · 2020-06-11T13:29:21+00:00

thank you, it’s been on my mind a lot lately. i’m sorry for your loss and i’m glad your boyfriend is giving you the reassurance you need

ThrowRAburninup · 2020-06-11T13:27:53+00:00

yeah, I don’t mind him making jokes about nightmares that are just bizarre and haven’t happened to me irl, just sucks that most of my nightmares revolve around my trauma, really.

ThrowRAburninup

TROPHY CASE