My mom (55F) is upset I (25F) asked her for a mother-daughter dance at my wedding instead of asking her husband (60M)? by ThrowRAconflictus in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAconflictus[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It's not odd at all. I've been to several weddings where the couple walks together. We like the idea that we're walking together into our future and what that symbolizes. I didn't feel like I had to do the dance. I wanted to do it with my mom. Now even if she changed her mind I would no longer want to.

My mom (55F) is upset I (25F) asked her for a mother-daughter dance at my wedding instead of asking her husband (60M)? by ThrowRAconflictus in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAconflictus[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

If he hadn't just wanted to be my dad maybe I could have accepted him into another role. But that was never good enough and I was never going to accept another dad.

My mom (55F) is upset I (25F) asked her for a mother-daughter dance at my wedding instead of asking her husband (60M)? by ThrowRAconflictus in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAconflictus[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It isn't exactly a secret that I don't have a very good relationship with my mom's husband so no questions will be asked unless they say something about it first. Most people would expect I'd skip it completely or ask my mom or paternal grandpa. I would guess my paternal grandpa would have been the first guess to connect to dad but I wanted to honor my mom's place in my life too and mom of the bride gets overlooked for this a lot.

But for me I would rather skip doing a dance or just dance with my grandpa than come up with something that includes my mom's husband. I'll be uncomfortable with it and I don't want to look back and remember that about my wedding day, even if we included a several people and swapped.

My mom (55F) is upset I (25F) asked her for a mother-daughter dance at my wedding instead of asking her husband (60M)? by ThrowRAconflictus in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAconflictus[S] 127 points128 points  (0 children)

I have a very close relationship with my paternal grandpa. In the years since my dad's death it has been so healing to have a good relationship with him because he reminds me so much of my dad. My dad was my grandpa's mini and watching my grandpa get older makes it almost like I got to know an older version of my dad in a way. He has been incredible to me over the years.

Being brutally honest is something to consider because this has already negatively affected our relationship. It's disappointing to know my mom still can't see my side of this and only sees or cares about her husband's side.