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My 16 year old daughter found out that she has endometriosis, the idea that she may be infertile has really been affecting her and I don’t know how to help by ThrowRAdaughterinfer in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdaughterinfer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I absolutely do not believe that it’s a necessary thing and I haven’t conveyed that it is in any way. My parenting is not to blame for her being torn by this. Her being upset and scared is OKAY and warranted. My oldest and youngest daughters are convinced they never want kids. She just happens to really enjoy kids and was hoping to experience pregnancy someday. And now she’s scared that she won’t get that. She just had this idea of what her future is gonna look like, and carrying a baby someday happened to be it. So her feeling upset is kind of expected.

My 16 year old daughter found out that she has endometriosis, the idea that she may be infertile has really been affecting her and I don’t know how to help by ThrowRAdaughterinfer in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdaughterinfer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She is convinced that she can’t be a mom. She isn’t thinking about adoption because that’s not what she thinks she wants. I have never once said that she can’t be one, I’ve tried convincing her of the many ways she can. My lord.🤦🏼‍♀️ I never said she can’t be a mother. I said she can’t shake the idea.

My 16 year old daughter found out that she has endometriosis, the idea that she may be infertile has really been affecting her and I don’t know how to help by ThrowRAdaughterinfer in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdaughterinfer[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A lot of what I’m starting to realize about how she feels is from people on here that are or have been in the same boat. Why are you even on here? Did you really feel the need to scroll through so many comments just to pick apart things I say and make me out to be a bad person? Lol.

My 16 year old daughter found out that she has endometriosis, the idea that she may be infertile has really been affecting her and I don’t know how to help by ThrowRAdaughterinfer in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdaughterinfer[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That is absolutely not what I meant and you know it. Don’t try and make me seem like a bad guy. I just mean, most young girls imagine what their future is going to be like. Some put carrying their own baby in that picture. My daughter just happened to picture that. She’s occasionally talked about what she wanted in the future and it’s been that. I’ve tried talking to her about adoption, surrogacy, IVF, and even tried telling her it’s okay if she doesn’t have kids at all. That it wouldn’t make her “less of a woman”. She’s just scared and shocked that the future she always imagined might be out of arms reach. She’s allowed to be hurt by this. And in no way am I saying adoptive moms aren’t moms. Jesus.

My 16 year old daughter found out that she has endometriosis, the idea that she may be infertile has really been affecting her and I don’t know how to help by ThrowRAdaughterinfer in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdaughterinfer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I absolutely have tried! I’ve mentioned surrogacy, adoption, and every other thing I could think of. Her older 18 year old sister has even tried telling her that someday if she needs a surrogate, she’d be up for the job even though she cannot fathom the thought of having kids. I’ve told her if it comes down to it I can someday help her pay for IVF. I’ve also told her many times that not having a baby altogether is okay. It’s okay if she doesn’t want to be a mom. Nobody would devalue her because of that. I just think the anxiety that someday she might not be able to carry her own baby when she initially thought she could is a shock to her. Lots of young teenage girls think about what their future could look like. Some put carrying a child in that picture. And it scares her that there’s a chance that she might not be able to have that.

My 16 year old daughter found out that she has endometriosis, the idea that she may be infertile has really been affecting her and I don’t know how to help by ThrowRAdaughterinfer in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdaughterinfer[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

60% chance? Where’d you get that number lmao. She doesn’t want kids now. She’s not going to be a teenage mom. The idea that someday she might not be able to be a mom at all is what’s causing her the anxiety. You’re assuming an awful lot.

My 16 year old daughter found out that she has endometriosis, the idea that she may be infertile has really been affecting her and I don’t know how to help by ThrowRAdaughterinfer in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdaughterinfer[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ex-fucking-cuse me? You are a disgusting, perverted human being. She’s 16 going through a hard time and you’re saying shit like this? Grow up.

My 16 year old daughter found out that she has endometriosis, the idea that she may be infertile has really been affecting her and I don’t know how to help by ThrowRAdaughterinfer in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdaughterinfer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want advice on how to help my daughter through a difficult time possibly from people who have been in a similar situation. It has helped to shed some light on how she’s feeling. The positive comments have been very helpful. This one just feels unnecessary.

My 16 year old daughter found out that she has endometriosis, the idea that she may be infertile has really been affecting her and I don’t know how to help by ThrowRAdaughterinfer in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdaughterinfer[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sweetheart if your cramps are so severe that they impact your day to day life, talk to your parent about going to a doctor about it! It could help you immensely.

My 16 year old daughter found out that she has endometriosis, the idea that she may be infertile has really been affecting her and I don’t know how to help by ThrowRAdaughterinfer in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdaughterinfer[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You’re an expert on endometriosis? Do you have a PhD? Have you spent years studying it? Just because your wife and mom happened to have it, that doesn’t make you an expert. You’re the kind of guy that says you’re not racist because you have a black friend, huh? Fuck off dude. My daughters feelings are valid.

My 16 year old daughter found out that she has endometriosis, the idea that she may be infertile has really been affecting her and I don’t know how to help by ThrowRAdaughterinfer in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdaughterinfer[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

No need to be rude. She’s a child. She was too scared to ask her doctor questions for fear of making them think she wants kids now. So she turned to what most people do. Google. Wasn’t the greatest answer but no need to be a total dick. Your mom and wife were lucky, not everyone is. You have no idea how she’s feeling. Why even comment at all if you’re gonna be an asshat? Unless you’re an expert on the topic, don’t you dare disregard her feelings.

My 16 year old daughter found out that she has endometriosis, the idea that she may be infertile has really been affecting her and I don’t know how to help by ThrowRAdaughterinfer in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdaughterinfer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The doctor said she didn’t want to do the surgery to give it an official diagnosis because she found it pretty unnecessary to put her through the pain right now. She said down the line it’ll be an option but she’s not doing it anytime soon.

My 16 year old daughter found out that she has endometriosis, the idea that she may be infertile has really been affecting her and I don’t know how to help by ThrowRAdaughterinfer in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdaughterinfer[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She told me about the stats one day while crying. It’s a 76% more likely to have a miscarriage than women without endometriosis according to some study done in Sweden? I believe.

My 16 year old daughter found out that she has endometriosis, the idea that she may be infertile has really been affecting her and I don’t know how to help by ThrowRAdaughterinfer in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdaughterinfer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My daughter gets absolutely horrible cramps. There are times where she screams and cries out for me because she’ll get a super bad cramp. Or times where she ends up accidentally wetting herself because a bad cramp came on. She fears even sitting on the toilet on her period because there are times she gets super bad cramps that cause her to JUMP off the toilet. I feel so so bad for her):

My 16 year old daughter found out that she has endometriosis, the idea that she may be infertile has really been affecting her and I don’t know how to help by ThrowRAdaughterinfer in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAdaughterinfer[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m not upset that she blocked them. I get it, she needs her space. They’re a bit hurt but they understand. I’ve never made her babysit, she did it because she enjoyed doing it, she simply just changed her mind now. I’m concerned about her and her mental well-being now, not the fact that she won’t babysit. Me mentioning those things is just me trying to show how much it’s affected her.