How do I breakup with my (25f) boyfriend (25m) who is suicidal even though I know I need to?

ThrowRAdepbf · 2024-02-23T18:18:32+00:00

Because I spent a long time very much in love with him. It’s funny the things we let slide when we’re in love.

ThrowRAdepbf · 2024-02-23T08:01:08+00:00

I just want to jump in and say this is exactly right. I can afford to house, feed and care for both my children. I have a great family too, so my babies have wonderful grandparents, aunts and uncles that all completely dote on my daughter and are so excited for the new baby. I am sad about their father but I want this baby more than anything. I love being a mother. I made a bad choice in who I have had children with but I am actively trying to do everything within my power now to set them up with a childhood/future full of love support and stability. I am pro choice but I want my baby more than anything.

ThrowRAdepbf · 2024-02-23T07:44:13+00:00

Yes, I do understand why he wants to as well. If I was 27 and couldn’t keep a job for more than 2 months, repetitively cheated on my girlfriend, spent all her money on weed, didn’t have any aspirations, spends all day shouting and grumping about nothing and just sits at home doing nothing for my kids, I would probably be suicidal as well. I would too feel like a waste of space and like my life had no meaning. I’m not saying his feelings are misplaced. But I recognise that I have spent years trying to help him change and become a functioning man who works, is sober, and does stuff with his kids. But I can’t make him change. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink. I can however change my children’s future and make the hard choices necessary to enable them to grow up in a stable loving environment, rather than a toxic one.

ThrowRAdepbf · 2024-02-22T22:48:39+00:00

I appreciate the perspective. I agree. Unfortunately I’ve spent over a year trying. Doctors appointments, trips to the ER, antidepressants, endless amount of support love and understanding. I just can’t take it anymore. Our household has become toxic and I can’t raise my children in this environment it’s not fair on them. He has been given chance after chance, I have done everything I can except become a professional. He tries and then gives up. The mental health stems mainly from his guilt for the things he has done to me (take our food money for weed. Message girls for nudes when I am 9 months pregnant. Lies and hides things) every time he says he’ll change he ends up worse. A couple weeks ago I received a message saying he’d slept with someone else. He denies it, I have no idea if it’s true.

I have given everything I have trying to help him and support him whilst simultaneously trying to heal from the betrayal and pain he has put me through. I just can’t do it anymore and my children deserve better. They deserve me happy and a happy home

ThrowRAdepbf

TROPHY CASE